One of the blessings of living here in Mesquite, Nevada is the opportunity to do a lot of hiking in the deserts and mountains within easy driving distance.
I’ve joined a large hiking club, called the Desert Fossils, which schedules two hikes per week, usually in the 3 to 6 mile variety. Perhaps 25 hikers attend each hike, and it’s a great opportunity to enjoy nature while socializing with new friends.
However, most of the hiking that I’m doing recently is with a small group of guys who like to be more adventurous and pile up some mileage on their hikes. Typically, they hike 10 to 13 miles, off-trail, in some wild-ass locales.
I met one of the guys (“Mac’) at a block party. He gave me a 10-mile tryout and then introduced me to his hiking buddy, Lloyd. We added a neighbor, John, and now we have a four member group.
I’m actually the oldest, at 71. Lloyd will be 70 this year, Mac is 66, and I believe John is the youngster, at 63.
Here are my hiking buddies, posing at Beercan Fence up in the Virgin Mountains.
Lloyd has a high-clearance 4WD 4-Runner that we use when going to some remote, off-road start point. The car takes a beating; we typically give Lloyd a few bucks for “tire money”. I will drive if we’re not going into the boondocks; I don’t want to bang up my only car.
Last week, after it had snowed, we went up Cabin Canyon (about 8 miles east of Mesquite) to take a look at some abandoned mines. I did a snow angel at one point, and John took a look into a mine shaft. That hike was about 10 miles, and we gained about 1,800 feet in elevation (to about 5,400′) at the highest point of the hike.
This past Friday we went up into the Virgin Mountains to a place that Mac and Lloyd call their “Secret Valley”. It is maybe 1-1/2 miles long and 1/2 mile wide, at an elevation of maybe 3,000 feet or so. We hiked from the car and back about 10-1/2 miles, some of it quite strenuous.
Secret Valley is beautiful particularly because it is the home to a very healthy Joshua Tree forest.
Mac and I usually lead the way, bushwhacking a trail into the scrub, with Lloyd and John following. Mac and I talk and walk, as do Lloyd and John. Sometimes, we change partners in walking and talking.
Mac worked in the Federal government, in some kind of capacity that required a security clearance. I think he was in logistics or procurement, as an analyst or bean counter of some sort. He is an easy going guy, a refugee from the 60’s, with a pony tail. I think he served in the Air Force, like me, back in the Vietnam era. We get along great; we’re very similar. He’s been married to his high school sweetheart for 45 years (same as Charlie and I). They live right around the corner from us.
Lloyd was a CPA early in his career, then owned a farm in the Napa Valley producing wine grapes. He was an Army Ranger in Vietnam, and saw some serious action, to hear him tell it. Lloyd is a “red neck” sort of guy, all testosterone and bawdy jokes, and is a certified MAGA man. I enjoy walking and talking with him, because he’s been all over the world doing business, and has great stories. The downside: he’s a Fox News shill, basically repeating all of the propaganda, word for word, that the talking heads dispensed earlier in the week. Some of the things he says are downright stupid, and I’ll mention that to him, and, often, he’ll admit it. But, I really like the guy and am happy that he and Mac have include me in the group.
John is younger than us, and his career background is in mechanical equipment, I believe, either in marketing or development. He’s an Midwestern guy, quite the reader, and is constantly reviewing history books that he’s recently read about the Founding Fathers, nature, etc. He’s the weakest hiker in the group, trying to get in shape for his seasonal job, which is a tour guide at Sequoia National Park. He will leave us in February and will do that gig for eight months. I enjoy talking to John about this and that, particularly because he’s so well-read and inquisitive. He took the lead on our hike this week, because he’d been there before (he said), and promptly got us lost on the way to some kind of abandoned engine boiler out in the woods. He’s now known as Boiler John.
Speaking of nicknames, Mac is Leaping Fish, I am Squatting Cow, and I’m not sure what Lloyd’s moniker is, because Mac refers to him as Leaping Fish. I’ve suggested “Red Neck Talking”…
Speaking of Lloyd, he tells great jokes. Here’s one:
Elizabeth Taylor, when she was about 80 years old, got a new, young boyfriend. She didn’t want him to see her naked, because of her drooping flesh, so she went to her plastic surgeon. “Can you do anything to tighten up my pussy?”, she asked. “I hate it when I can see my labia flopping down between my thighs.” Her doctor promised, “I’ll do my best.” Whereupon Liz said, “Now, this is to be a secret between you and me. Don’t tell anyone, not a soul.” He agreed, and did the surgery. When Liz was back in her hospital room, after the surgery, finally sobering up after the anesthesia, she noticed three vases with roses on the table next to her bed. When her doctor visited her, she asked, “Who sent those flowers?” The doctor said, apologetically, “Well, the first one’s from me. I did such a good job down there, well…I just couldn’t resist trying it out.” Liz, annoyed, asked, “What about the others?” Her doctor responded, “Well, ditto for your nurse. And, the third vase is from some guy down in the burn ward, who’s very grateful for his new ears.”
That’s the kind of repartee that we come to expect out of Lloyd “Red Neck Talking”. It really livens up the walking.