We spent most of the day on Monday without electricity. Somehow, a large power pole 35 miles from us caught on fire and brought down the entire power grid in this portion of Nevada. It took the utility about eight hours to repair the line. Had it happened in New York City, there would have been riots, the National Guard would have been called out, and conspiracy theorists would have blamed Hillary Clinton. Or, Obama.
Life without electricity really sucks. No computers, no refrigeration, no microwave, no TV, no recharging cell phones, no lighting…no friggin’ bidet. (It felt like the Stone Age, having to wipe my own butt.) Luckily, we had a couple of decks of cards, and the three of us (including my son Jonathan) made do.
I read an article once saying that increased birth rate spikes have been attributed to power outages. I get it: “Well, I’m bored, Honey. What can we do that’s fun?”
Electricity has got to be among man’s greatest inventions: certainly a first-ballot Hall of Famer, right up there with the wheel and Twinkies.
Speaking of that, the latest major league baseball Hall of Fame class was announced this week. Who cares! I for one don’t pay much attention to this stuff anymore, because any baseball Hall of Fame that doesn’t include Pete Rose is a fraud. It would be like a shrine for sandwiches that doesn’t include Peanut Butter and Jelly, or recognizing comedian legends without mentioning Laurel and Hardy.
Fame isn’t what it used to be. For example, in the old days, one had to be an otherworldly talent to be considered a “star”. Michael Jackson, Wilt Chamberlain, Albert Einstein…now, those were stars. Nowadays, every TV actor and member of a professional sports team is considered a “star”… including the non-starting, backup long-snapper on a losing professional football team. I saw a guy with those very credentials last night on America’s Got Talent, and he was announced as a football “star’. I almost vomited. Under those criteria, I would have been a “star” athlete in high school, where I “rode the pine” while on the varsity basketball team. If I had really been a “star”, I would have gotten laid.
Yours truly has an ongoing beef with Pulte Group (the builders of Sun City Mesquite) regarding an ugly, unmaintained common area lot in our neighborhood. Corporate responded to a petition signed by 25 property owners that I sent the Pulte Group by advising us that it would be “unfair” to others if Pulte and the Homeowners’ Association rectified the problem that they created and are perpetuating. Say what? Go to your room, you stupid Bean Counters and Bureaucrats!
Speaking of employees, the Federal government shutdown is now in its second month. It is basically a terrorist situation, where the culprit (our President) has taken 800,000 workers hostage (without pay) in order to force the now Democratic Party-controlled Congress to fund something (additional miles of border wall) that the Republican Party-controlled Congress failed to do last year, when it was busy enacting a debt-financed
I’m thinking that President Trump doesn’t understand America’s longstanding policy of not negotiating with terrorists. (Of course, the Imbecile-in-Chief doesn’t understand a lot of things about America and our democracy: he must have been shooting spit wads in high school Civics class.)
I feel sorry for the employees, who have done nothing to deserve this. Many have been ordered back to work, without pay, with the promise that they will get paid when the shutdown is ended by President Trump. Meanwhile, mortgage payments get missed, marriages suffer, and employees on the edge have mental breakdowns; some might go “postal”. Hopefully, karma will even things out when the “Leader of the Free World” tires of this childish and hurtful stunt aimed at bullying Congress into paying for more steel fencing.
The nominations for Oscars were announced this past week. Once again, the motion picture industry will the motion picture industry will get all lathered up, furiously congratulating itself on the wonderful product it is producing: basically, Marvel Comics’ superhero action flicks, feature-length Disney cartoons, and action movies starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
My wife and I have attended a total of two motion pictures in the past three years: “LaLa Land” and “A Star Is Born”. They were entertaining, but lame in comparison to “The Godfather”, “Citizen Kane” or just about any classic John Wayne western. Or, for that matter, made-for-TV stuff like “The Sopranos”, “Dexter” and “Breaking Bad”. None of them got Oscars; what’s wrong with this picture?
My $99 drone arrived this week from China, via a slow boat. I plan to use it to surveil possible hiking paths when my friends and I are totally lost up in the local Virgin Mountains. (And, probably, Chinese state security will use it’s embedded spyware to surveil me!) A problem I have with the drone is that it came with limited instructions, written in English by Chinese guys who don’t understand English very well. One would have to be a Chinese aircraft engineer/linguist to interpret the one-page
Speaking of the Virgin Mountains, they are so named because they lie adjacent to the Virgin River, which comes out of Utah and Arizona via the Virgin River Gorge. The City of Mesquite, lying in the Virgin River Valley, boasts the Virgin River High School, whose football team, the “Abstainers”, was unbesmirched this year, as it should be every year. The team mascot is Chastity Belt.
Actually, that’s fake news. But, in the real world…
Despite all of Congress’ and the NRA’s thoughts and prayers, another mass shooting occurred yesterday, this time at a
What has become intentionally lost in this alarmist political narrative (to justify The Wall) are the very real facts that: (1) the incarceration rate for immigrants is one-half that of native-born residents; and, (2) that Caucasians are responsible for six times as many mass shootings as Latinos. Maybe we need to build walls around White communities to protect people…on the outside?
Just kidding, of course. The Caucasian perps would simply go over or under the wall in order to accomplish their dastardly deeds, just like coyotes will find a way through a fenced yard to abscond with your pet Poodle. The Great Wall didn’t stop the Japanese from conquering China (they flew over it), and the Maginot Line proved useless against the Nazis, who simply drove around it. Walls are generally overrated, unless defenders are pouring boiling oil down on attackers. Moats are pretty effective, though, particularly if populated by alligators. Maybe someone should run that idea past the Prez?
Speaking of him, it looks like The Boss might be seriously considering using a Concocted State Emergency (i.e. threat from a banana republic) to divert attention from his political troubles in this country. The menacing Third World culprit: Big Bad Venezuela. This week, the U.S. formally backed an insurrectionist/populist effort against the Venezuelan dictator, whereupon that elected leader ordered American diplomats out of his country, whereupon our President ordered our embassy folk to stay put and, then, threatened the Venezuelan leader with consequences. “All options are on the table!”, according to Trump, itchy to push the nuclear hot button.
Perfect! The Venezuelan big shot is backed by China (who we’ve engaged in a tariff war), Mexico (ditto, plus an immigration war), and President Trump’s buddy, Vladimir Putin of Russia, who loves to torment America. Hopefully, we won’t do anything stupid…although that’s asking a lot of the current leadership. Has anyone in the White House ever heard of the “Bay of Pigs’? How about “Vietnam”? Or, “Afghanistan/Iraq/Syria/Yemen/et al”? Is there anyone left in the White House besides the President’s family, clueless attorney Rudy Giuliani, and the hapless spokesperson, Sarah Huckabee Sanders? The Keystone Cops were brighter.
Moving on from politics (Please!), my wife Charlie had a half dozen lipomas removed from her arm yesterday by a local dermatologist. Lipomas are fatty cysts that are generated spontaneously by the body in people who are genetically predisposed to the affliction. Charlie produces the things faster than dermatologists can excise them. If science and industry could find a use for the things, my wife could make a million dollars. As it is, the local dermatologist will probably be able to put braces on all his kids and afford to send them to private colleges, thanks to Charlie’s permanent affliction and her medical insurance. Asked how much he would have charged my wife with no insurance, he answered, “$400”. Of course, with insurance, he probably billed $2,000. And, he’ll be seeing her every two weeks for another batch. Cha-Ching!
As for me, I’m on the lookout for a medical practitioner, witch doctor, or exorcist who can help with my painful arthritic hands. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t have any grip strength whatsoever, and I’ve had to give up bowling, golf, and masturbation. Shuffling playing cards is torture, so I’m now using a Chinese gizmo. Narcotic pills are helping a bit, but my hands ache like Hell pretty much 24 hours a day, even when I’m sleeping. (And, I feel guilty not being able to “Say No To Drugs”.) I suppose I could consider amputation, but, then, how would I type my blog? Maybe Alexa could do it for me? Please send your thoughts and prayers…
I mentioned earlier the Virgin River Gorge. In order to access civilized amenities, we need to drive to St. George, Utah, the nearest big town. Luckily, that chore is made more pleasant by the wonderful scenery along the 15-mile drive through the Gorge. I never get tired of it. All manner of geologic goings-on are on display there, including some very weird, twisted and tilted rock formations. According to scientists, the striking landscape was created over millions of years. Of course, some folks believe that God created all of it, at once, about six thousand years ago. If so, he was a pretty busy guy. And, why all of the weird rock formations?
The construction of I-15 through the Gorge was a complex engineering feat and one of the costliest portions of the Interstate highway system. I’m glad they built it, so I can get to Costco a lot quicker and pick up my prescription narcotic drugs.
Here are some photos from my most recent drive through the Gorge:
Probably the weirdest thing that happened during the past week was the incredible muffed call by the entire NFL refereeing team during the big game which decided whether the New Orleans Saints or the Los Angeles Rams would go to the Super Bowl. With less than 2 minutes remaining in the game, New Orleans leading by 3 points, a Saints receiver was manhandled by a Rams defender. It was an obvious infraction, or actually three of them: face-guarding a receiver, with the defender’s back to the ball; running into a receiver; and, a helmet-to-helmet hit. (After the game, the Rams defender admitted as much.) The backfield judge, who’s only responsibility is to follow the flight of the ball and make sure that the receiver and defender play by the rules, missed the call.
Apparently, the referee was either texting his girlfriend or playing pocket pool (or both, simultaneously) instead of actually watching the friggin’ football game. As a result, the Saints lost a choice opportunity to run out the clock or, perhaps, to make a touchdown and put the game away right then. The Rams were resurrected from the dead by Referee Magoo, later won the game, and are now going to the Super Bowl.
“What a Super F-up!”, I can imagine Vince Lombardi saying…from his crypt.
