There seems to be an inherent need among human beings to “belong” or identify with groups, so as to convey some sort of individual specialness to them: it is as if simply being themselves is not enough. And, the obverse: if you’re not a member of my club, then you are lesser than me.
My first exposure to this phenomenon was back in elementary school. In my lily-White classroom, I was the odd duck, because of my red hair. I was a sociable kid, did well in class, played with everyone on the playground, etc. However, I must have not been a member of “the club”, as one of my friends in 5th grade class (a girl) held a backyard birthday party and invited everyone in class except me and the poor kid with leg braces who had polio. That was my first exposure to “discrimination”, it hurt me deeply, and is probably why the “Whites only” signs in the Southern states offended me so strongly during the Civil Rights enlightenment of the 1960’s.
In high school, there was a caste system of sorts. Atop the pyramid were the “soshes”, who were the kids who came from upper class families, did well in class, and held all of the elected class offices. Then there were the “jocks”, who were the athletes who competed on behalf of the school. Other components of the social order were the “dweebs” ‘(the plain folk), the “nerds” (the introverted guys with glasses and pocket pencil protectors), the “surfers” (wannabes, mostly, as we were 40 miles from the ocean), and the “beaners” (i.e. the Latinos who wore distinctive oversized clothing, tried to look tough, and fought with each other).
There were also male and female “service clubs”, membership in which distinguished one “soshe” from another.
I was a hybrid guy who got good grades, competed on sports teams, and was a closet surfer on the side (i.e. I was a competitive swimmer, lifeguard, and body surfer in the Summer). I mainly hung out with “soshes” and “jocks”, simply because I took a “college prep” curriculum and played on the basketball and cross country teams. My best friend and neighbor, Pat Freemon, who was a year behind me, ended up Senior Class President, and my future sister in law, Kay Dennerson, was also a senior class officer of some sort. They were “soshes”. You could tell the “caste” of someone by noticing who they had lunch with; there wasn’t much socialization between groups. We had one African American guy at our school. He was a celebrity, of sorts, because “Negroes” were so rare in our town. He happened to be a nice, bright guy and fit in with the “soshes”, as I recall. But, realistically, he was in a club of his own.
Although I hung with a lot of soshes (because of academics), I didn’t date because I had no car. In fact, I was a social virgin until prom time, when I was a Senior. Kay Dennerson, who was dating my brother at the time, hooked me up for the prom with a prominent “soshe” named Sally Browne, who had been a homecoming princess. I was a placeholder for her boyfriend, who was off at college. Despite my awkwardness and inexperience, we had a good time. She was beautiful and nice.
While in high school, I became a “born again” Christian. It happened by chance, really. One of my best friends, a neighbor teenager named Glenn Sato (a Japanese-American), attended the L.A. Free Baptist Church in East Los Angeles and got me and my brother to try it out with them. The entire congregation was Asian except the Manning boys. We decided that we liked it for two reasons: (1) There was a food fest each Sunday after services; and, (2) The church had an indoor basketball court and a church team that competed against other Asian church teams. My brother and I were welcomed to the team because we were athletic and had size. It was fun. Eventually, we went to a religious retreat in the Santa Cruz Mountains, and it was there that the religious epiphany occurred. Unfortunately (or fortunately), my religious phase was short-lived, as I became more and more aware of the difference between Sunday behavior and everyday behavior by God-fearing, Bible-thumping Christians. We’re all sinners, I determined, and I had better things to do on Sundays than shout out “Hallelujah” at the right time.
So, I dropped out of the Christian club.
There was a minor caste system in college: the “Greeks” and the rest of the students. I really wasn’t interested in fraternities when I was a Freshman, as I thought they were an elite clique of “soshes” who wanted to impress others with their clothes, parties, and alcohol consumption. I wasn’t focused on much at the time and wanted to meet people, so I happened into a recruitment by Alpha Phi Omega, which is a national “service”, rather than “social”, fraternity. That didn’t last long, as the members spent a lot of time hazing recruits. I guess the idea was that the current members were special (i.e. they already belonged), and this entitled them to be cruel to prospective members. Since the goal of a service fraternity is to do good things for the college and community, it would naturally seem that they would bend over backward to enlist the help of eager students. But, no, even those ex-high school nerds felt it necessary to lord over newcomers. I bailed early in the pledge process: it was bullshit.
I was a pretty fair athlete at the time, and it came to pass that a social fraternity recruited me a year later…because they wanted to compete at a high level in Greek intramural sports. At the time, I was essentially treading water academically, with no fire in my belly, just doing enough to retain my “military exempt status”. Competing in sports was fun, so I joined Delta Chi fraternity. That year, we competed in the Greek football championship game and lost at the end. Other than that, there were a lot of parties, booze, good times living at the fraternity house, lots of dating nice gals, and friendships. However, in the end, it was a fruitless exercise, as my health and grades suffered, and I eventually moved back home to live with my parents. Shortly thereafter I was in the Air Force, my Greek experience at an end.
After college, I basically had nothing to do with Delta Chi until Charlie’s nephew Adam Way one day mentioned that he had been a Delta Chi brother at the University of Idaho. Just to shake him up, I began the “secret” greeting among Delta Chi fraternity brothers and he turned red with shock. Anyway, that’s about all I retained from my time in an exclusive club, other than dancing with supermodel Cheryl Tiegs at a mixer in my fraternity house. I suppose that I wouldn’t have met her if I hadn’t been one of those elite Greek guys.
Later in my life, I joined a country club. We’d just moved into Jack Nicklaus’ brand new Bear Creek golf course community in Murrieta, California. Our four kids were all on their own by then, I was a golfer, and Charlie was quite the social butterfly. We did the country club thing for almost two decades. I ended up a pretty good golfer and was appointed to the Board of Directors toward the end. Charlie was at one point the mover and shaker of the Social Committee. We eventually soured on The Club, as did many of our friends, because the membership degenerated into cliques and mean spiritedness.
During our last ten years at Bear Creek, many of our close friends (over the twenty years previous) shunned us, as we were now pond scum because we didn’t belong to The Club. You were either “with us or against us”, I guess. It’s too bad that those cliques developed, because almost one-third of the dues paying members quit The Club like we had. Bear Creek Golf Club later went into bankruptcy. All of this could have been avoided by not letting silly partisanship foul up a very pleasant social situation.
Exit one more club.
As one might imagine, the gated Bear Creek community was very conservative politically. Within the gates were the guys who owned the factories in the nearby industrial park, the auto dealerships, and were bigwigs in local real estate. These folks lived in mansions, while the rest of the well-off residents lived in nice condos. Like I said, very conservative folks for the most part.
One guy in Bear Creek really flew the flag…literally. He was regular golfing buddy of mine, and Charlie and I socialized with he and his wife. He was in the custom shipping business and hit the jackpot when the Gulf War began. The U.S. military needed specially fitted containers for Tomahawk missiles and the like. Almost immediately, he turned from rich to very rich, and became a Super Patriot, supporting all manner of military organizations and installing (at his own cost) an avenue of American flags along the main boulevard in Bear Creek. Not surprisingly, the political attitude of the community became supercharged, windbag/right-wing radio host Rush Limbaugh became a saint, and Democrats were viewed as communists.
I was a registered “Independent” voter (neither Red nor Blue) but kept my head down. Unlike most of the Bear Creek “patriots”, I’d actually served my country in the military, and I had my opinions about such things…which may not have played well with the Bear Creek crowd. Besides, I prefer that political opinions not mar social relationships: I don’t care what your beliefs are as long as you don’t jam me with them.
Somewhere along the way, there was the 2008 Presidential election. Bear Creek probably voted 95 percent for the Republican ticket, but Democrat Barack Obama was elected. What an uproar there was! The election had to have been stolen, the bad-losers said, because “everyone we know voted for McCain/Palin”.
Now, gee, how could that happen? Maybe it’s because you folks only hang around with other super-conservative wingnuts, and the only views that your “club” tolerates are the ones you all support. That’s a problem with beliefs (i.e. “truths” not supported by fact): believers tend to hang together, mutually reinforcing the bullshit, making them impervious to other ideas. Wisdom is difficult to acquire when one wears blinders 24/7.
It seems to me that 2008 was the year that national politics came off the rails, metaphorically. The conservative G.O.P. lost, big time, and the new President was an African American…heaven forbid! Not only that, but his Secretary of State was Rush Limbaugh’s longtime punching bag, Hillary Clinton. Republicans were incensed and the G.O.P. commenced a scorched earth campaign to make sure that the new Administration fail at everything that it attempted.
From that time forward, the Nation has been fixated, in a political sense, on the “Red vs. Blue” state dichotomy, and partisanship has permeated American society. Even churches have taken sides, for God’s sake. Televangelists, in particular, have riled up the populace with all manner of condemnation towards those Blue “devils”. Not to be outdone, the Fox Network “news” shows have flooded the Nation with right-wing propaganda and the idea that all other news networks are putting out “fake news”.
Social media is a major culprit in the downward spiral of civility in our society. An enormous amount of misinformation and hate is disseminated immediately and constantly to citizens eager to be “in the know”. What we used to call “gossip” is now coin of the realm in social media, and a lot of it is political stuff targeted to defame public figures. It is entertainment of a cruel and destructive sort.
Donald Trump, a salesman who told Americans what they wanted to hear, rode the Red vs. Blue bandwagon to success in the 2016 Presidential election. His populist campaign was built on lies and exaggerations, as was his subsequent Administration. Four years later, the circus left town after two Impeachments, numerous scandals, a botched handling of the coronavirus pandemic, and an inept (thankfully) effort to execute a bloodless coup via the January 6th Capitol Riot.
And yet…the Trump loyalist “club” retains its vitality even now, almost one year after the ex-President left Washington D.C. in shame.
Trump’s followers insist that the 2020 election was “stolen”, despite no evidence of this being unearthed by either Trump, his attorneys, or elections officials from any State. The truth does not seem to matter to loyal Trump followers…if he said it, it must be true. Of course, he claimed that he was gypped in 2016 as well…until he miraculously won. A lot of his followers also believe that Jesus walked on water…
I have a neighbor who flies the Blue flag, literally. He had the big Trump “Keep America Great” campaign banner on his house in 2020, so he’s a member of that club. He also has blue night lights on opposite sides of his garage door, which indicates that he is a member of the “Support Your Local Police” contingent. His car has a license plate which reads “THKUGZS” (Thank You, Jesus), an in-your-face reminder that he is a member of the Christian club. He also used to ride a Harley Davidson motorcycle, which connotes “manliness”, I think. He is also an unabashed NRA gun owner, which alludes to his membership in the testosterone club.
This guy is defined by “clubs”. I like his despite this, as he is a friendly guy who I occasionally play golf with.
He recently forwarded to me some very sophomoric anti-Democratic jokes passed on to him from other right-wing nutjobs, thinking that I might like the put-downs of our President, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House, the Covid-19 vaccination program (which he and his wife proudly brag that they have not and will not participate in), and so forth.
In other words, he and his wife are true-blue “Red” folks and want everyone to know it.
I can recall a time in my life when no one wore their political party affiliation on their arm 24-hours a day. It used to be that folks would go to the polls to vote on Election Day, and then return to their lives and move on. The political parties in Washington D.C. and statehouses throughout the Nation would arm-wrestle a bit and work out differences. Then, the government would do the best it could.
In this age of “identity politics”, the internecine political warfare goes on 24/7 via social media, propaganda disseminated via “fake news” broadcast media, and even “holy men” spewing hatred from pulpits. Government doesn’t stand a chance of working, no matter who is running the show, Red or Blue.
That’s because “Ya gotta belong” to one side or the other. It’s the game, you see.