Crummy End to Crappy Year

It’s been a pretty crappy year, let’s face it. The election of Donald Trump is the biggest mistake the citizens of this country have ever made. If we survive this guy (i.e. the economy doesn’t meltdown or he doesn’t start a thermonuclear war), it will take decades to un-do the damage he will have done to our democracy.

I’m not looking forward to that struggle.

Charlie and I have come down with one doozy of a chest cold. One of our relative guests at Christmas must have been the carrier. I say that because most of our kids and grandkids are sick with the same thing right now. It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya’.

I can’t remember the last time I had a cold; it has to be quite a few years back, maybe 5 to 10. I’m about four days into this one and my chest muscles are super sore from all of the coughing. Same with Charlie. We’ve just been lying around, doing nothing, hoping that the thing runs its course ASAP. We’ve got the Mucinex and Robitussin cocktail working 24/7, on the advice of our doctor. He said “Don’t come in here!”, because he’s down to two staffers from five…the other three have the same affliction. Everyone in town has it; it’s an epidemic!

I had to take my sick sweetheart down to the DMV today so that she could: (a) infect the rest of the city with this shitty cold; and, (2) take her written driver’s test. Charlie had studied for that thing for two weeks, and she damned sure wasn’t going to miss her appointment. She passed, by the way.

That friggin’ DMV office in Temecula is a disgrace. There are always long lines wrapped around the building, which hasn’t changed since Temecula became a city. Back then, the city population was about 30,000; now, it’s over 150,000. And, this postage stamp-sized DMV office serves the entire Temecula-Murrieta valley area, with a total population of around 300,000. So, the undersized facility is always crowded and miserable. Add to that the fact that there is virtually no parking to be had. It’s in an industrial area, very little on street parking capacity, and the DMV parking lot is miniscule. So, the whole thing sucks. I hope Charlie gave every employee a nice case of Super Chest Cold…Happy New Year!

My poor granddaughter Jessica really screwed the pooch awhile back. She was driving her car (actually, the one I’m paying for!) and wasn’t paying attention (cell phone?), and ran into the back of another car…going about 45 mph! Oh, Boy…she called us right after it happened and was crying over the phone…it was a tearjerker!

Anyway, the good news was that no one got hurt seriously, but the bad news is that the car is totaled. Damn…that car was supposed to last her through four years of nursing school! I’m not sure what we’re going to do now; she needs a car for school, but I don’t want to be on the hook for another four-year car loan. Plus, her already high car insurance is going to skyrocket. This could get ugly. Pray for us.

The joint where we store our RV recently informed us that we are being evicted because the facility is going out of the outdoor storage business; in the future, they will only have enclosed storage lockers…(the kind you see on “Storage Wars”, the fake reality show where a guy buys the contents of an abandoned storage locker, sight unseen, and, almost always, finds some sort of weird, valuable item in the locker.)

Anyway, the mass eviction is a huge problem for the several hundred RV owners who store their vehicles at this location, because there was already a shortage of RV storage space in Southern California. I sweated bullets for a day or so after I got the unwelcome news. What would I do? I ended up asking a friend of mine for advice; his name is Phil Berg, and he owns a mobilehome park in Lake Elsinore. He also knows everyone. He hooked me up with his  MH park handyman who just happened to have some space on his Lake Elsinore acreage, about five miles north of here. It’s dirt, but…beggars can’t be choosers. I met with the guy and we cut a deal for $100 per month, which is $80/mo less than I was paying at the fancy place. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade!

I feel sorry for the other RV owners who will be scrambling to find storage space for their rigs. It could get ugly for them.

Charlie and I and my sisters and brother all showed up at my Mom’s board and care for Christmas Day. We brought gifts for Mom and her five female friends, including Mom’s roomie, Marcia, who is a healthy 100 years old, and Cookie, who is 90 and has her own room. Anyway, we had a nice time and the ladies enjoyed their gifts.

I heard yesterday that Marcia, Mom’s roomie, fell down and broke her shoulder, and that Cookie has something like congestive heart failure and is circling the drain. Gee whiz…everything was going so smoothly…what a bummer! Such nice ladies…

I hope that the crummy atmosphere around there doesn’t affect my Mom, who has been doing quite well lately. She’ll be 90 in a few months.

I’ll have my fingers crossed all year.

 

The War on Christmas

Fox News talking head Bill O’Reilly, who is known for promoting conspiracy theories, is famous for igniting a recent controversy about a “war on Christmas” by atheists, liberals, Democrats, left-leaning media, and corporations who don’t kowtow to Bible Belt fundamentalists.

Supposedly, these spoilers are out to remove Christ from Christmas, by opting to use terms such as “Seasons Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” instead of the traditional “Merry Christmas”.

O’Reilly got his conservative audience worked up about this non-issue for several years, bitching about the Obama’s White House holiday card, railing about Starbuck’s generic coffee mug that had a wintertime theme, etc. This year, O’Reilly declared that the war has been won, because “Donald Trump is on the case”, and that President Trump is proudly using the proper “Merry Christmas” greeting, etc.

As with most of what O’Reilly says on Fox News, the “war” is rubbish, and the picture of Donald Trump, a non-practicing Christian if there ever was one, carrying the water for Jesus Christ is a pretty ridiculous thought. HoHoHo…don’t make me laugh!

More importantly, though, the idea that any Christian (or, in the case of Trump…a fake Christian) can talk about malevolent folk misappropriating the sacred Christmas holiday is a knee-slapper…it’s the pot calling the kettle black, because they don’t know what they’re talking about.

Fact-check:

No credible historical person (i.e. someone who actually lived) wrote one word about Jesus Christ during his alleged life. The myth about Jesus was developed by unknown, non-historical persons, many decades after his alleged life and death. Bible historians are in unanimous agreement on this aspect of the mythology.

Therefore, no one knows if, or when, Jesus was born. The virgin birth, the manger, the Star of Bethlehem, the Magi, ad nauseum, were part of one Gospel narrative that was written at least 50 years, and maybe 100 years, after the supposed blessed event, and that writer obviously wasn’t an eyewitness. And the other Gospel writers didn’t know anything about the birth details. Strange, huh?

So, where did “Christmas”/December 25th come from?

It was invented by the newly-developing Catholic Church.

The early Church leaders, in the Roman Empire, had no traditions and holidays of their own. As the religion developed, existing cultural festivities were adapted to fit the new religion. Romans had a lengthy (by Jesus’ time…about 500 years!) tradition of celebrating “Saturnalia” at about the time of the Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. This festival, which lasted from five to seven days, involved feasting, gift giving, singing, drinking, and general merriment to celebrate the pagan god Saturn. The Winter solstice, according to the Roman calendar, fell on December 25th.

There was no recorded veneration of Jesus’ alleged birthday until 336 A.D., approximately 300 years after the alleged death of Jesus and about 800 years after the first Saturnalia celebration. At that time, Christianity had become legal, an orthodox faith had been crafted together, and the new leaders needed to develop a Christian culture. Church leaders had hypothesized about the birthdate of Jesus Christ for quite awhile. The earliest discussion came from Clement of Alexandria, in 200 A.D., when he noted that various bishops had suggested May 20, April 20 or 21, March 25, January 2, November 17, and November 20. Obviously, no one knew. It would be akin to identifying the birthdate of Paul Bunyan, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny…one could use any date.

The date that was ultimately chosen was December 25th. This is because people within the Roman Empire were already used to celebrating on this date, it was the Winter solstice (a cosmically significant day),  and it was approximately nine months after the Vernal equinox, a date that some Christian “experts” of the day linked to the conception of Jesus. Of course, no one knew that date for sure…because it was also part of the mythology. But, it sounded good.

(It was also at about this time that the new Church began to flesh out the Jesus myth by (miraculously) finding Jesus items in the Holy Lands, like His manger, His tomb, His cross, etc. The fact that these places and things had lied unknown and un-venerated for 300 years didn’t matter to the faithful; it was just accepted that Jesus was born there, died there, and was nailed to those 300 year-old pieces of wood…which were found buried under a city (twice demolished to rubble) by amateur archaeologist Helena, mother of Emperor Constantine.  But, I digress…)

As the Christian religion began to sprout in the Roman Empire, and, then, become the official religion of the land, the Saturnalia celebration was phased out in favor of Christmas, as were all of the pagan festivities on the calendar. In fact, once Church leaders gained a strong foothold at the Roman court, it became required under law to be a Christian and to practice the faith publicly and privately. Hence, Christmas celebrations were common throughout Europe in the Middle Ages as Christianity spread to that region, and churches began to be stocked with phony artifacts from the Holy Lands.

The pre-Christian Germanic people of Northern Europe had previously celebrated a winter festival called “Yule” in late December to early January. In eastern Europe, there was an old tradition of celebrating through the use of “Koleda”, which is a form of caroling. As the Christmas culture developed, yule logs and Christmas carols were added to the mix, as were the gift-giving and merriment of Saturnalia, greenery, lights and charity from the Roman New Year, and, then, special characters like Kris Kringle and Santa Claus emerged. Church officials didn’t mind all of the window dressing at that time, because churches were packed and the collection plates were overflowing. And, not believing the Jesus story was punishable by being burnt at the stake. It was a different world then.

The season-ending holiday season that we currently enjoy is the result of a couple thousand years of evolution, some of which is pagan in nature, and some of which is derived from the Jesus Christ story. The fact that most Americans associate the “Christmas” season with family get-togethers, a spirit of charity, gift giving, and merriment, and not necessarily with the birth of Jesus, is not surprising. For one thing, church attendance in America is at a low ebb, as every deacon, rabbi, and priest knows full well. Hence, the plea (from guys like O’Reilly) to “put Christ back into Christmas”…it’s a Hail Mary effort, pardon the pun. But, nice try, Bill!

More importantly, while all Americans appreciate “Christmastime”, the special time of the year means different things to different people, particularly since our Nation is such a melting pot. Many different nationalities, religions, and cultures abound within our Country, and they each have the right to celebrate the end of the year in any way that they desire. Many people who are not Christians feel quite comfortable saying “Merry Christmas” to friends and strangers, because it is simply a euphemism for “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings”…a nice, polite, and cheerful way of expressing one’s humanity.

Christmas season seems to be doing really well in the United States. Business is booming, people are enjoying each other’s company, and there is a festive feel in the neighborhood. It doesn’t seem like we’re at war, at all.

I’m enjoying the holiday season…except for this sore throat.

 

 

Day and Night

The world that I was born into seventy years ago was much different than the one in which I find myself today.

Back in 1947, adult women were expected to marry and be homemakers and child-rearers. In fact, 70 percent of all adults over age 15 were married back then, and most women did not work outside the home. Today, in contrast, only half of adults are married, and approximately 46 percent of the American workforce is comprised of women. The change on society and family life has been dramatic, like night and day.

In the old days, mothers used to feed and see their children off to school, do household chores, socialize with neighbor Moms during the day, be there when the kids came home from school, supervise the afternoon activities and squabbles of the children, prepare a dinner, organize the family sit-down meal, provide love and affection to the hard-working husband, and see the children cleaned up and sent to bed at an early hour. This was hard work in its own right, work that had a purpose. Weekends were times of socialization for the family and friends, in the neighborhood and at church.

Today’s empowered women have options not foreseen in 1947, like higher education and careers. Fifty-six percent of current college enrollees are women, and most adult women currently have jobs outside the home. There are many times more women in the workplace, working side by side with men, than there were seventy years ago. Not surprisingly, divorce rates are doubled now, and incidents of sexual harassment and sex-based job discrimination are rife. With the good, comes the bad, I guess.

With careers to think about, fewer women are marrying, most are having fewer children, and there are substantially more single-parent households.  Working mothers have less time to be traditional Moms, and computers, play stations, and cell phones have increasingly replaced parental nurturing. Hence, we hear about the “latchkey kids”, i.e. unsupervised school-age children, and we read about seriously increasing juvenile crime. Many kids are raising themselves.

One of the attempts to remedy this situation has been the rise in home office jobs, where one or both of the parents can support the family economically and “be there” for children. These jobs were few and far between in 1947; now, approximately 3 percent of U.S. jobs are home-based. With increased technology, and the shift towards a service economy, more and more jobs will likely be outsourced (i.e. away from “headquarters”). This would be a positive step for parenting/socialization purposes.

Neighborhoods, trade unions, churches…these were the building blocks of blue-collar society back in 1947. Lasting friendships, tight-knit bonds (sometimes ethnically-based), a sense of “togetherness” were forged through these person-to-person social mechanisms. In stark contrast, current union membership is down two-thirds from 1947 levels, church attendance has been halved, and the idea of “neighborhood” has totally changed; now, it’s basically a place where your home is, where you retreat to after your day’s toil. Neighborhoods are more homogenized nowadays, many people don’t know their neighbors, and quite a few don’t want to. People have become more isolated, less socialized, in the traditional sense.

In addition, changes in mobility have impacted land use. Expanded automobile ownership and improved public transit have made possible the creation of “suburbia”, or residential areas at the periphery of an urban area, which, in turn, enable commuting workers. Housing is more affordable and congestion is less in suburban communities, but the added commute time, coupled with job time, increases stress and reduces socialization time with family and neighbors.

“White flight” from city centers has had the effect of disconnecting the more affluent suburbanites from the suffering of the disadvantaged who cannot escape inner city ghettoes. So, we have large swaths of America who don’t see or understand poverty, and have no experience with subpar educational opportunities, police brutality, economic discrimination, etc. There are two separate societies which don’t relate to each other very well; hence, built-in conflict.

We now have technological innovations designed to replace in-person socialization with convenient, digital substitutes for the on-the-go modern populace. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, U-tube and others provide for a new type of social networking, albeit anonymous to some extent. Real-time communication in voice and video allows for family and friends to “stay close” even if separated by continents. It’s wonderful, in that way. However, clever use of the technology by unscrupulous or mean-spirited individuals and/or organizations threatens to undermine the veracity and utility of the technology.

There are a lot of fake people trolling the Internet with the intent to do harm. These predators, coupled with the unsupervised ability of children and young adults to “surf the Web”, present a real dilemma to parents and society: how are our innocent, gullible youth to be protected?

Not all Internet trolling is targeting children; adults are subject to a constant barrage of sales marketing, easy money scams, and probes targeting banking information, passwords, and other financial information. In addition, political propaganda is being spread through the social networks by domestic political action committees and foreign governments. Sometimes, innocent social networkers’ computers are hijacked to help spread the propaganda.

Is it no wonder that modern society is confused, alienated, and forlorn? Serial murders and mass shootings didn’t happen 70 years ago, and teen suicides weren’t an epidemic. Civility, i.e. formal politeness or courtesy in behavior or speech, was the norm; today, incivility is the norm in entertainment, politics and Internet discourse. Hate, bullying, shaming, and wholesale dishonesty are endemic on social media, teaching our youth that this is the way people should treat each other.

Even the President of the United States behaves like this. What happened to dignity and example-setting?

Yes, many things are better in modern society: lots of gadgets, instant communication, economic opportunities for women, people live longer, etc. But, we’ve lost some things in the process…important things that shape society and the culture that we’re passing along to our children.

As a society, we need to be more cognizant of the legacy that we’re handing down.

Happy Days Are Here Again?

 

It appears that the long-awaited Republican tax reform plan will be signed by President Trump by Christmas. It grants a large, permanent tax reduction to wealthy individuals (like Trump) and corporations, and a much smaller, temporary tax cut to the middle class.

 

They’re Republicans…what did you expect?

Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon

Of course, the genius behind this tax reform plan is that it is supposed to jump-start the American economy. If it does, it will be the first “trickle-down” economic stimulus to have ever done so…despite numerous attempts.

Even figuring in the GOP-projected economic boom that will surely be generated by this tax cut (yeah, that’s going to happen!), the plan will balloon our National Debt by $1.5 trillion in ten years. If those pie-in-the-sky revenue projections are off, skies the limit!

 

What we know for sure are two things: (1) The wealthiest 1 percent of American households will become wealthier; and, (2) Donald Trump will declare that the plan is, and has, achieved its purpose…even if it fails to do so. Because that is what he does…he lies alot.

And, in the event that there is a catastrophic failure, like a stock market crash or banking meltdown (like the one ten years ago under President Bush), we can pretty much assume right now that the blame will go to: (1) Barack Obama; (2) Hillary Clinton; or, (3) both of them. Basically, whatever conspiracy that Fox News comes up with.

As has been previously noted, the last time large tax cuts were given to corporations (in the misguided hope that they would invest the “found money” in the economy), the windfall was used primarily to buy back stock. This will probably happen again, which will not stimulate economic growth. But, large GOP donors will be ecstatic.

A problem that Americans are going to have over the next several years is determining exactly what the effect of the tax plan is. This is because the Federal agencies that generate economic reports are now managed by Trump appointees, and, if there is anything that we’ve learned about Trumpism, it’s that facts are not germane to a discussion about anything. The truth, as seen by this President,  is anything that he wants it to be, and, by extension, anything that does not conform to the Trump reality is “fake”. So, economists are probably going to be seeing some “funny numbers” cropping up in Federal digests over the next year or two, spoon-fed to the Prez by Fox News “experts”.

For example, yesterday the President was bragging that, under his Presidency, the stock market has set a record performance for the first year of a presidency…up 21 percent. Actually, though, several of his predecessors did better, including George Bush Sr., John F, Kennedy, and Franklin Roosevelt. In fact, the current Bull Market on Wall Street is 103 months old; Trump can claim credit for 11 months, at best, while the other 92 months belong to Barack Obama.

It is problematic to use the stock market as an indicator of the overall economy, particular in the first year of a presidency, because the policy impact of the new administration hasn’t yet been felt. Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman notes that the first year’s “achievements” are normally attributed to the outgoing administration’s policies. According to Krugman, the economy has been adding jobs for about five years, is near full-employment, and the rate of increase is leveling off. It remains to be seen if the Trump tax reform initiative will have any impact on the overall jobs picture.

The rosy promise of the GOP tax reform measure has also already been factored into the Wall Street gains of 21 percent in 2017. Unless something substantial occurs to further the enthusiasm, the current Dow Jones levels could represent a “bubble”; i.e nearing the top of the curve. If Americans have learned anything over the past one hundred years, it’s the old axiom of “what goes up, must come down”. So, it’s not a matter of if the Stock Market will readjust itself, it’s a matter of when that will occur.

President Trump will brag about its performance until the day after the inevitable major adjustment or worse.

Then, he’ll blame it on the usual suspects: (1) Obama; (2) Hillary; or, generically (3) the Democrats.

And Fox News will agree with him. You can take that prediction to the bank.

 

 

Making of a Myth

Below is Chapter 4 of my book, “Disbelief”.

                                                     CHAPTER FOUR

                                               THE PROTO-CHURCH

The origins of Christian religion and the Catholic Church are somewhat murky.

Scholars agree that the proto-religion began to emerge at around the time of the destruction of the Second Temple of Jerusalem by Roman legions in 70 A.D.   According to historian Flavius Josephus, the entire city was laid waste and most of the surviving inhabitants were sold into slavery.  Many Jews who survived death or capture fled to areas throughout the Mediterranean, with their confidence in Judaism severely shaken.

A New Twist on an Old Idea

It is not surprising that some of the Jewish priests displaced from the Holy Lands began to tinker with their theological product.  Obviously, the original “Messiah” idea had to be-reworked, because no one had arrived in the past 150 years to save the Jews from the Greeks, the Seleucids, or the Romans.  So, how could these religious salesmen make lemonade from the lemons they had been dealt?

The solution that they collectively devised was a transformation of the Messiah concept: instead of fulfilling all the worldly dreams of their parishioners, the new Savior would provide the faithful with heavenly rewards and everlasting life.   Plus, some of the unpopular aspects of Judaism (circumcision and dietary restrictions) would not be imposed on converts.  This was the New Covenant called Christianity, and it sold like hotcakes to the oppressed, frustrated, and gullible public.

Cell by Cell Theology

There was no organized Christian church in those days.  Instead, it appears that there were independent cells or sects scattered in the Mediterranean regions, each led by a head priest usually known as a bishop (from the Greek word episcopos, meaning overseer).  The theology of each of the cells or sects was determined by the bishop, and evidently there were many variants of the emerging “Jesus Christ” theology in play during the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd centuries (i.e. up to 300 A.D.).

The many regional bishops communicated with each other, sharing ideas and arguing amongst themselves about the fine points of the emerging Jesus Christ doctrine.  The Biblical character known as the Apostle Paul, his alleged travels amongst and communication with the various bishopropics during the first century, and the attempt by some of the clerics to harmonize all of the Jesus sect activity into one smoothly-running organization with a common dogma, are the central theme of the New Testament once the reader gets past the Gospels.

The Mysterious Paul of Tarsus 

A man named Paul of Tarsus dominates half of the New Testament.  From the biblical story, one learns that the self-appointed Apostle was a religious leader in Jerusalem, traveled extensively throughout Asia Minor, had social interchange and scrapes with provincial governors, had audiences before kings and emperors, was thrown into jails for seditious ideas, and helped establish Christian churches far and wide.  This well-known personage eventually found his way to Rome, where he allegedly infuriated the Jews living there, was taken into custody by the government, and was eventually beheaded by the Romans…for reasons unknown.

Interestingly, outside of the Bible, no historic person, government official, or church functionary ever formally recollected meeting the Apostle…until after Paul’s alleged “letters” and “epistles” were mentioned by (since excommunicated) bishop Marcion in the mid- to late-2nd century.  Only later, more than a century after the life of the mysterious character, and after the “Apostle Paul” story had been vetted by Catholic big-shots, would this wonderful Paul fellow be suddenly remembered by Christian clergy far and wide.  Thus, Paul of Tarsus joined the illustrious founders of the new faith (including Jesus, his family, his twelve disciples, and virtually every character mentioned in the Gospels) who all had one specific thing in common:  no record of their existence in this world…except as characters in the book called the Holy Bible.

Really…Who Was This Guy?

As the official story goes, Paul (then known by his Hebrew name, Saul), was an ex-Pharisee in Jerusalem at about the time as the first Jesus Christ sects were emerging.  Paul was an ultra-orthodox Jew, a member of the ruling priestly class, and it is said that he was a chief persecutor of the early Christians (Acts 7:58-8:3).  In his own words, (in Galatians 1:4), he described himself as “exceedingly zealous of the traditions” (i.e. the tenets of the Jewish faith).  Not much is known about Paul’s early years, but he must have been born outside of Palestine, within the confines of the Roman Empire, because during his ministry he had occasion to use his “Roman citizenship” to help him out of a legal jam (Acts 22:28).

If scripture can be believed, Paul was a contemporary of Jesus in time and place, raised in Jerusalem (“at the feet of Gamaliel”-Acts 22:3), at precisely the time that the Son of God was overturning moneylenders’ tables in Gamaliel’s Temple and generally provoking the top Jewish religious leaders in the holy city.  One would think that this Paul character would have met, listened to, argued with, or, possibly, sought to persecute Jesus when he brought his noisy pageant to Jerusalem.  If Paul was who he claimed to be, he should have been very active in the church persecution of Jesus Christ, and would have at least attended, and maybe led, the Jewish cheering section at the crucifixion.  After all, how many self-proclaimed Sons of God were there roaming the streets of Jerusalem and chastising the elders of the Temple?  Yet, it is apparent in the hundreds of pages of New Testament devoted to Paul that he never met nor witnessed Jesus Christ in-the-flesh, or never heard of the man from Nazareth while he was alive.

The story of Paul is chronicled in two New Testament sources:  the Book of Acts and the Epistles which bear his name.  The two sources have remarkably different stories to tell about this Church father.

In Acts, which relates the church-building “acts of the apostles”, Paul is a team player, a zealous Christian missionary, recruited directly by the Holy Spirit, and sent by the inner circle of Jesus’ disciples to assist in establishing churches in outlying areas and to reinforce the developing theology.

Although Paul’s name is cited 177 times in Acts, only once is it coupled with the familiar title “apostle”.  In every other instance, Paul is an entity quite separate from, and implicitly subordinate to, Jesus’ apostles.

In Paul’s Epistles, which are letters sent by Paul to fellow holy men and emerging churches throughout Asia Minor and the Mediterranean, he is a self-confident maverick, representing no one but himself and under no one’s direction.  He is driving the train, and incessantly pounds home the point that he is an apostle and that his appointment and mission statement comes directly from Jesus himself (Galatians 1:11-16)…even though Jesus had been crucified by that time.  The Paul described in the Epistles certainly considers himself the equal of Jesus’ original disciples, and once even had the temerity to chew out the Apostle Peter (the ostensible leader of Christianity at the time) in Antioch over Peter’s views on dietary proscriptions (Galatians 2:11-21).  This episode cemented Paul’s reputation (in later Church tradition) as the so-called “Apostle to the Gentiles”.

Defining The Faith

The Pauline Epistles, or Letters of Paul, are the thirteen New Testament books which have the name “Paul” as the first word, hence implying authorship by Paul.  They provide insight into the beliefs and controversies of early Christianity, and were foundational to Christian theology and ethics.  The Epistle to the Hebrews was also anciently attributed to Paul, but does not bear his name.

The Pauline Epistles are largely written to the churches he had allegedly visited in such places as Cyprus, Asia Minor (now Turkey), mainland Greece, Crete, and Rome.  His letters are full of expositions of what Christians should believe and how they should live.  In his correspondence, Paul exhibits little knowledge about the life and specific teachings of Jesus.  However, this does not deter him from expounding, at great length, on the major theological principles of the new religion.  Among the concepts that Paul first put forward and were later adopted by the Church are:

Original Sin – Paul believed that human beings are born into sinfulness, i.e. the absence of holiness and perfect charity (Romans 5:12-21)

Atonement – Paul believed that Christians are redeemed from the Law (specifically circumcision and dietary purity) and from sin by Jesus’ death and resurrection (Corinthians 15:3,4)

Role of Women — Paul believed that women should be quiet and submissive to men, and learn (theology) from their husbands (1 Corinthians 14:34-35)

Intellect – Paul lectured the faithful “not to think beyond what is written” (by the priests) (1 Corinthians 4:1-8)

Lord’s Supper – Paul’s writings contain the earliest mention of the “Lord’s Supper”, a rite traditionally identified as the Christian Eucharist (1 Corinthians 10:16)

Predestination – Paul believed that everything that happens on earth is part of “God’s plan” (Ephesians 1:3-14)

Salvation – Paul believed that faith, not good works, is the ticket to salvation (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Second Coming – Paul believed that Jesus would return within his lifetime, at which time the faithful would share in God’s Kingdom (1 Thessalonians 4:15-18)

The bottom line is that the character of Paul, or whoever wrote under his name, was a member of the priestly class.  The theology that was being developed by Paul (in the Epistles) was designed to produce a superior, merchandisable product for dissemination by the ex-Jewish, but now new “Christian”, priestly salesmen.

If one looks at the key points of Paul’s instructions (to the letter recipients), it is apparent that the “new-improved” religious product has several powerful sales “hooks”: (1)  Sin/Atonement – Everyone is a sinner, from birth, so they need to get to church and get right with Jesus; (2)  Salvation – Only through faith (i.e. bending to the dictates of the priestly class), not good deeds, can one get to Heaven; and, (3)  UrgencyJesus is returning very soon, so get down to your nearest church and start praying.  In addition, Predestination allows the priesthood, or the faithful, to offer up an excuse when bad things happen to Christians or when prayer doesn’t work.  And, although it was nothing novel, the New Testament (through Paul’s teachings) reinforces the old prohibition against women becoming active in the Church, ensuring that male priests would continue to run the show.  Last, but not least, the priests would teach the faithful everything they needed to know in life.

The completeness of Paul’s theology, ostensibly in the 1st century, looks remarkably similar to Christian thought in 350, when the various Jewish-Christian factions finally agreed upon “orthodoxy”.   It is almost as if the creed was developed and, then, the story of Paul was concocted to provide a metaphor for the spreading of the “good news”.  This becomes all the more plausible when one considers the fact that, outside of the Bible, no one ever heard of Paul during his lifetime.

Expensive Letters

Apostle Paul was apparently the Ozzie Nelson of his time…he never seemed to have a job to support his living habits and the rather expensive hobby of writing lengthy letters to people in far off places.  Yet, readers of the Epistles are expected to accept that this unemployed philosopher and religious rabble-rouser had the wherewithal to commission the production of very expensive documents.

Back in antiquity, only the wealthy or governmental officials could “write letters”, because one would have to acquire papyrus (a thick paper-like material made from the papyrus sedge) and the labor of a scribe (a paid, professional writer) to put the author’s thoughts to paper.  Again, both the papyrus and scribe were costly, and our hero, Paul, survived on the generosity of the Jewish-Christians he happened to meet during his travels.  The idea that he could commission the preparation of lengthy papyrus letters, at his whim, is preposterous.

Another thing that strains credulity is the length of some of the Epistles.  Paul’s “Epistle to the Romans” was 7,111 words in the original Greek.  That would have made it the longest and most expensive letter ever written in the ancient world.  Similarly, “1 Corinthians” goes on for 7,000 wordsIn comparison, the longest letter of Cicero, circa 54 A.D., has 5,200 words.  And, yet, Cicero was a wealthy Roman aristocrat, a high government official of Rome, who was more than able to afford secretaries and scribes.  Letters dictated by famous historians of the day, Seneca and Pliny, average about 1,000 words.  These were also individuals with position and staff.  The itinerant, on-the-go preacher Paul had neither, which suggests the real possibility that the letters were written by a team of authors and scribes in the scriptorium of a monestary, probably in the second or third century A.D.

Another curiosity of Paul’s letters is that they survived at all.  They were often argumentative and scathing in tone, telling the reader what he should believe and how he should practice that belief.  Why would the recipients (supposedly in the mid- to late-first century) keep them safe for generations?  According to Paul, the existing world would soon pass away when Jesus returned (during their lifetime).  Who, in a time of apocalyptic anticipation, would have been so motivated and able to gather an extensive and bulky collection of letters purportedly sent everywhere from Rome to Galatia?

The most plausible answer is that these letters were not collected from recipients, but were produced at a later date by Church writers and never delivered to the supposed adressees.

Who Wrote, and When?

It is, therefore, not surprising that Paul’s letters were unknown to the Gospel writers and early Church leaders, and un-cited by anyone on earth for a century or more, until Marcion, a bishop from Pontus, allegedly published them in the second century.  As it is, the oldest extant copy (papyrus fragment) of any of portion of the Pauline Epistles is dated by historians in the 175-225 A.D. range. There are no known New Testament original manuscripts; everything that is known comes from copies of copies, etc., of supposed (earlier) originals.

Whilst so much ancient writing is fragmentary, in the Pauline Epistles there exists a comprehensive body of doctrine, meeting all the needs of a functioning church.  Though many curious and suspicious gaps obscure the life of the evangelist Paul, his theology in the Epistles is complete and entire.  It is almost like some Church official wrote the Epistles as a handbook for neophyte Christians in the 3rd century, and then just annotated the name of “Paul” to them so that no one would know who actually wrote them.  That could be why there is no historical record of anyone by the name of Paul of Tarsus doing all the things he did in Acts…except in the Holy Bible.  All that was left was for Church “tradition” to claim that they had been written in the 1st century.

Biblical scholars are pretty much in agreement that about half of the Epistles were written by one person using the name of Paul, and that the others are pseudepigraphic, i.e. representing that they are written by the same person, but are not.  Biblical scholars agree that the real author of the Epistles was not Paul, the alleged evangelist, but don’t know who that person was who wrote as Paul, either in the “legitimate” letters or the fakes.  Left unanswered is whether Paul, as described in the Epistles, was a actual, flesh-and-bones person or, if so, did he experience any of the things attributed to him in another New Testament book, “Acts of the Apostles”.

Laying the Foundation                                                                                                                         

The alleged evangelical work of the Apostle Paul and other key figures in the Jesus Movement in the 1st century is told in the “Acts of the Apostles”.  Church tradition (again, no one actually knows, or is telling, the truth) has it that this book was written by a guy named “Luke”, who was supposedly a companion of the Apostle Paul.  The reader is left to assume that this Luke fellow is the same character who supposedly wrote the Gospel of Luke.  This would tie the Gospels (which are anecdotal tales about the god-man Jesus Christ) to the ethereal “Jesus Christ” theology movement.

By the order in which the books of the New Testament are presented, the reader is also left to assume that the story/life of Jesus preceded the Jesus Christ evangelical movement.  However, that is not agreed upon by biblical scholars.  Most of them believe that the earliest books of the New Testament are the Epistles, which barely, if at all, allude to a once-human being, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, or include any details of his life.  It is therefore probable that the Gospels were written later than the Epistles, and were used to “flesh-out” the dry theological catechism with a fantastic background story that would keep the parishioners awake in church.

Saints Doing Good Works

Biblical scholars are in wide agreement that the author of the Gospel of Luke also wrote the Acts of the Apostles, and most seem to think that the combination of Luke-Acts once constituted a two-volume work.

The Gospel of Luke tells the story of Jesus’ life, and Acts recalls the exploits of Jesus’ followers as they spread the Good News.  In neither case, according to Luke, was he (the author) an eyewitness to Jesus or any of his purported speeches or acts.  Instead, based on information “handed down” by predecessors, the author Luke determined to pass along to a certain Theophilus “things most surely believed among us”…”that thou mightest know the certainty of those things, wherein thou hast been instructed” (Luke 1:1-4).  In Acts, “Luke” continues the conversation with Theophilus that he began in his Gospel.

Tellingly, “Theophilus” in Koine Greek means friend of God or (be)loved by God.  Thus, it is apparent that the Luke-Acts stories were meant not for an individual person but, rather, for the larger audience of Christians, as instructional pieces.

As in the Gospels, Acts tells a story spiced up by miracles and pious speeches by the good guys and acts of inhumane persecution toward the good Christians by Jews and Romans alike.  The impression given is that Jesus’ twelve disciples were commissioned to spread the word, and off they went, doing just that.  Strangely, though, only a few of the original twelve disciples are heard of after the Gospels.  Following the crucifixion of Jesus, the late Judas Iscariot was replaced, by vote of the remaining eleven disciples, by a man named Matthias.  The new disciple was never mentioned again.  And, following that meeting in Jerusalem, all of the other disciples likewise disappear from mention except Peter, John, and Phillip, who seem to confine their missionary work to Palestine.  But, for the most part, the action in Acts focuses on two “apostles”, the original disciple Peter and the self-proclaimed apostle, Paul.  Peter is evidently the leader of the nascent church in Jerusalem, where “the Twelve” are presumably kept busy running the retail store, whereas Paul is seemingly the only salesman making cold calls in the outlying areas.

The Apostle Peter and the Jerusalem marketing team got off to a rousing start on the first day of Pentacost following Jesus’ crucifixion.  According to the story (Acts 2:1-47), the Holy Spirit descended upon the disciples, allowing them to speak in tongues (i.e. different languages, previously foreign to them), and they converted 3,000 souls to Christianity on the spot.  On another day, preaching at the Temple (in Jerusalem!), Peter and John performed a miracle healing and recruited another 5,000 believers (Acts 4:1-4).  Supposedly, the Hebrew church elders (the same ones that had condemned Jesus) were outraged about religious conversions at their Jewish temple and were about to deal fiercely with Peter and his gang of troublemakers.  But, at the eleventh hour, the respected Pharisee and teacher, Gamaliel, talked the church council out of slaying them (Acts 5:25-42).

All of this is quite interesting and extraordinary (i.e. implausible) for that time and place.  And, one would think that historians, particulary those who focused on cultural and religious events in and around Jerusalem, would have noted such bizarre goings-on down at the Temple, particularly when the Jesus Cult was recruiting Hebrew converts from the steps of Herod’s Temple.  Philo of Alexandria, a famous Jewish historian who was alive at that time and was chronicling actual religious events in the area, made no mention of miracles, mass conversions to Christianity, or of any disciples of Jesus Christ ticking off the Temple elders during that time (i.e. 30-40 A.D.).

Of course, Philo also hadn’t been aware of Jesus Christ’s ministry, his crucifixion, or his resurrection earlier that year.  Is it possible that none of it actually happened?

 

Two Different Pauls

Beginning with Chapter 8 of Acts, the evangelical story of the young Christian church begins to unfold through the evolving story of Saul of Tarsus (later called Paul the Apostle).

At first he is a crusading Jewish hardliner, wreaking havoc on the new “Christian” cult.  But, then, he is converted by the Holy Spirit, and quickly becomes the number one evangelist and theorist in the Jesus Christ movement.  All manner of travels, escapades, miracles, and weird incidents are attributed to Paul in Acts…none of which are mentioned in Paul’s own letters to the faithful.  This is especially curious because Church tradition has it that “Luke”, the author of Acts, was Paul’s companion during much of his missionary travels.  One would think that Paul, in the 44,000 words that comprise his Epistles, would at least casually mention a few of the miracles he performed, the venomous snake bite that he survived, the shipwreck that he also survived, the various escapes that he made from angry mobs, the stoning-to-death that he somehow survived, and his emprisonment(s) by the Romans.  But, no, Paul recalls none of the extraordinary events that “Luke” supposedly witnessed.

Not surprisingly, Paul makes no mention of his supposed traveling companion, “Luke”, in any of his Epistles that are deemed by scholars to be authentic.  So, if Paul has such little regard for his supposed companion that he never mentions him, should the reader trust anything that “Luke” says about him or, more importantly, anything that “Luke” testifies to at all?  The bottom line is that there is no evidence whatsoever that “Luke” ever met any of the disciples, or any of the colorful characters in Acts, or witnessed any of the incidents described therein.

The “authenticity” of each book in the New Testament has been a subject of scholarly debate for thousands of years.  The truth is that no one knows who wrote the Gospel tales.  What is agreed upon by scholars is that much of the material in Mark was later used in the other three Gospels, raising the question of how much of the remaining material was cribbed from other sources or just plain invented.

Most biblical scholars ascribe to the theory that one person (who may have been “Paul” the evangelist) wrote seven of the so-called Pauline EpistlesRomans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, 1 Thessalonians, and Philemon. Six additional letters bearing Paul’s name do not enjoy academic consensus as being authentic Pauline Epistles:  Ephesians, Colossians, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus.  The anonymous Letter to the Hebrews has traditionally been considered by the Church to be from Paul’s hand, but most modern scholars reject that claim.  There are two other known books written in Paul’s name, Epistle to the Laodicians and Third Epistle to the Corinthians, which are not included in the New Testament.  They are widely considered to be inauthentic, and representative of many “fake” Gospels and Epistles that were floating around between the 1st and 3rd century A.D.

The Catholic Church eventually decreed which material was deemed “authentic” and worthy of placement in the New Testament.  But, this does not mean that stories deemed “authentic” by the Church were necessarily true.  What “authentic” means in this context is that the stories served the purpose of advancing Church dogma and orthodoxy; in other words, the end justifies the means.

There most likely were many evangelists like the character of “Paul” spreading the Jesus Christ message throughout the Mediterranean and Asia Minor regions in the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd centuries.  Obviously, the rise of a great religion didn’t “just happen” because of one super-missionary.  Therefore, the Book of Acts could very well represent a metaphor representing all of the church founders who toiled, anonymously, in the very early years.  They were the ones who founded the emergent Christian churches that Paul allegedly visited.

Although nowadays the Apostle Paul is, by tradition, credited with starting up many new Christian churches (like a Johnny Appleseed in American popular lore), he really does none of these things in Acts or in his own Epistles.  What he does is visit early Jewish-Christian groups in outlying communities (and, importantly, never in large cities) and coaches-up the new parishes.  Or, afterward, sends letters of encouragement and instruction to those he met in his travels.  Since none of the things in Acts can be verified as actually happening by any non-Biblical source, the idea that Acts is metaphorical gains credulity.

Also adding to the skepticism that the adventures in Acts actually happened, consider the following:

  • Paul is stoned to death in Lystra and his body is dumped outside the city. He rises from the dead and returns to the city, alive (Acts 14:19).  Fact: There is no recorded case in human history where a person “stoned to death” has ever been resurrected.  Resurrections only happen in Biblical stories.
  • Paul, a Jew who was converted to Christianity by Jesus Christ himself, is “warned by the Holy Spirit” not to go to Jerusalem. He defies God and goes anyway…and predictably infuriates Jews, giving himself a good excuse to be taken into protective custody by Roman authorities (Acts 21-26)
  • The Roman procurator Felix appeases the Jewish high priests by imprisoning Paul for two years. When Felix’s replacement, Festus, decides to further prosecute Paul at the request of the evil, Jewish clergy, the self-proclaimed Apostle makes his famous “appeal to Caesar” (Acts 25:11).  What is bizarre is that Paul is lodging his appeal before his case is even heard.  What all of this ensures is that that Paul will head to Rome, the objective of the story.
  • Nowhere in Paul’s authentic Epistles does he mention spending any time imprisoned under Roman authority. As prolific a letter writer as he was, one would think that he would have had a lot of time on his hands to make note of such an unpleasant experience.
  • Paul is put on a ship for Rome and the boat predictably shipwrecks, following a script purloined from historian Josephus’ book Life, 3. In Josephus’ story, the ship was transporting a number of rabble-rousing Judean priests (read Jewish) to “plead their case before Caesar”.  This sounds like it could be the very shipwreck…except that heroic Paul is not identified in Josephus’ tale, and the stories end differently.  While the shipwreck victims are stranded on the island of Malta, Paul is bitten on the hand by a viper, and survives the poisonous bite.  This is rather amazing because, according to naturalists, there are no poisonous snakes on Malta, and there never have been.
  • Paul lingered on Malta for three months, performing miracles and generally impressing everyone. Paul even healed the father of the chief man of the island, named Publius (Acts 28:7-11).  Christian tradition has it that the whole island was converted to Christ and the Roman governor Publius accepted from Paul his appointment as “first bishop”.  Although all of these events supposedly occurred on Malta in the first century, historians and archaeologists have found no evidence of the Christian religion on the island prior to the 4th
  • After all the great fanfare, Paul is delivered to Rome…where he never lodges any appeal with Caesar. Instead, he has a chat with some Jewish leaders that he called together (while a prisoner!), and nothing happens one way or the other (Acts 28:17-29).  That’s basically the end of the story, as the Apostle Paul is last mentioned residing in Rome for two years in a rented house (Acts 28:30-31).  What a letdown!

“No Good Deed Goes Unpunished”

Church “tradition” has it that both Paul and the Apostle Peter were eventually killed in Rome during the reign of Emperor Nero.  Supposedly, Paul was beheaded (and, where his head fell and bounced, three fountains sprung up!), and Peter was crucified upside down (at his request, because he did not feel worthy of the same fate as Christ!).  These are fantastic stories, and make for good reading…but they are not found in the Bible (or any real historical record).

In fact, the Apostle Peter is last mentioned in Acts presiding over a meeting in Jerusalem wherein the disciples were discussing circumcision (Acts 15:7-11).  He was apparently a healthy man at that time, ostensibly the leader of the disciples of Christ in Jerusalem, and was deemed by Jesus Christ himself “the rock” upon which the Church would be built.  Yet, he simply disappears from the Bible at this point, as if his later good works and martyrdom are insignificant.  Similarly, the Apostle Paul, the greatest evangelist and theorist in the early Church, and the subject of two thirds of Acts, simply disappears from view after renting a house in Rome (while, if you can believe, a prisoner of the government!).

If, in fact, both or either of these future pillars of the Mother Church had suffered persecution and execution at the hands of the Romans, it is inconceivable that such events wouldn’t have found their way into Acts or some other Church-approved Biblical story….because persecution and martyrdom are central Christian themes in the New Testament.

But, did these horrible deaths actually happen?  Not surprisingly, there was no mention of the highly unusual public executions until many decades later by, of course, only Christian sources.  One would think that a man being crucified upside down, and a decapitated head bouncing and creating springs, would get the attention of scribes and historians in metropolitan Rome.  But, no, there is not one historical note of such things happening…until the Catholic Church was in a position to write, and re-write, history.

Then, miraculously, the remains of martyred saints, pieces of the True Cross, wood from Jesus’ manger, and all manner of supposed holy relics, gospels, and epistles surfaced…after being unknown or publicly unmentioned for hundreds of years.

The Final Chapter

The last book in the New Testament, The Revelation of Saint John the Divine, is basically intended to put the fear of God into believers and would-be-believers.  It is old-school, Old Testament rhetoric which shouts out “Repent – The End is Near!”  It lends credence to the idea, supported by many early Christians (including the Apostle Paul), that Jesus was expected to return to earth during their lifetimes

Church tradition has it that the author of Revelation, “Saint John the Divine”, is the one and only Apostle John, who also wrote a Gospel and a couple of Epistles in his own name.  Interestingly, early church leaders Dionysius and Eusebius rejected the idea that the Apostle himself wrote Revelation, and most modern scholars agree.  “John” may not have been an Apostle, but whoever he was, his tale is the outpouring of a Jew seriously embittered by Roman imperialism.  The book’s payoff is the bizarre horrors and gory fate that awaits these enemies of the Lord.

Revelation is a strange book to be included in the New Testament, because it is so Jewish.  The theme of the other New Testament books preceding it are preoccupied with establishing and disseminating the “new covenant” between God and his faithful, the believers in Christ.  Revelation, on the other hand, promotes no such theology, and within its four hundred or so verses are some five hundred and fifty references to the Old Testament.

The author John is clearly not onboard with early-proto Christian ideas: in Revelation, his Christ is born in Heaven and rules on earth, while in the rest of the New Testament, Christ is born on earth and rules in Heaven!  John also skips such theological staples as the Trinity, Original Sin, Faith not Works, Baptism and the Eucharist.  He rails against idolatry, and concentrates his hatred and lust for revenge against “Babylon” (i.e. the Roman Empire).

Christ, in Revelation, is never associated with the incarnate (i.e. in the flesh) Jesus.  Christ’s primary role in John’s vision is as a Jewish warlord who is both judge and jury:  And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.  (Revelation 19:13-15)  So much for the so-called Prince of Peace!

The apocalyptic end of days on earth, as envisioned by the author, is comprised of two components: in the first, Christ rules an earthly kingdom for a thousand years while Satan, confined but not defeated, is locked up in a pit. During this period, 144,000 Jewish males (12,000 from each of the twelve tribes of Israel) are the only ones to share the kingdom. In this heaven, there is not a single woman. The male elect are “… not defiled by women; they are virgins” (Revelation 14:4) Pretty much everyone else on earth is either cast into a lake of fire and brimstone or unceremoniously dispatched by God’s minions.  At the end of the thousand years there is another apocalypse unleashed on humanity (Question:  Weren’t they already dead?) and Satan and his evildoers are finally dispatched.  Presumably, all of the true believers and non-idol worshippers are then brought back to life and get to enjoy the new Heaven on Earth.

Again, the purpose of this Jewish messianic-apocalyptic-prophetic material following the Christian-themed “Good News” of the New Testament is unclear…except when one considers the timing of the book and the pedigree of the author.  “John” was clearly a Jew, and the book was written in the latter part of the first century.  Hebrew scripture had foretold of a Messiah, the “Christ” stories of the time identified him as the “deliverer”, and the Romans had just sacked Jerusalem and burned the Temple to the ground.  “John’s” vision describes, in Technicolor, the retribution against Satan (i.e. Mr. 666, Emperor Nero).  Since most of the early converts to the Christian cause were Jews, including the converted priests who wrote the New Testament, the “happy ending” that is Revelation makes a lot of sense to the early Jewish-Christians, and gave them hope that their pain and humiliation would be short-lived.

As the reader may be aware, Revelation was incorrect about the Second Coming.  It did not “come quickly” (Revelation 22:20).  As a matter of fact, it hasn’t come yet.  So, Saint John’s prophetic words were wrong.  However, John joins some distinguished company…Jesus Christ, himself, for starters.  In Matthew (16:28), Jesus is talking to his disciples and is quoted:  “Verily I say unto you, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Putting It All Together

Examination of the New Testament reveals a carefully-crafted religious product sandwiched between obvious mythology and an apocalyptic prediction.  The Christian theology is a new and improved Judaism, absent messianism but spiced up with “heaven”, designed to attract pagans as well as disillusioned Jews

Acts was obviously meant to tidy up the mythology of the Gospels, yet it left hanging the “church-building” and martyrdom heroics of superstar Apostles Peter and Paul.  This could have been intentional, however.  As both Peter and Paul simply disappear from view and discussion in the New Testament, there is no evidence to link them with actual historical fact.  This is an oft-repeated plot device in the Bible: no graves, no physical remains, no fingerprints, and no credible (i.e. non-Biblical) witnesses.

If the Church is to be believed, everything in the New Testament was accomplished and written about by the end of the 1st century A.D.  However, no reputable Biblical scholar believes this.  What is more likely, from a logical standpoint, is that the Book of Revelation was produced first (probably late 1st century A.D.), followed by the Gospel of Mark (end of 1st century), then the other copycat Gospels and “genuine” Pauline Epistles (early to mid-2nd century), then the Acts of the Apostles (mid-to late 2nd century), followed by a bunch of fake Gospels and Epistles (3rd century)

The Jesus Christ mythology and theology couldn’t have been completed in the 1st century because there was no agreement on what “Christianity” was until early in the 4th century.  To put it in more familiar terms, “corporate” had not yet delivered the sales brochures to the dealerships.

Under The Weather

It’s been a crummy couple of days. I’ve had some sort of intestinal virus and have been crapping my guts out non-stop since early in the morning when I pooped myself while sleeping. How embarrassing!

I can’t remember the last time I was sick. It would have to be a couple of years. I did have a short-lived bout of vertigo earlier in the year, but that passed in a couple of hours. Other than that, no colds, no flu, and basically nothing that put me in bed for a day or so.

So, today I’m resting here at home, with my three Boston Terriers keeping me company while Charlie goes to a lunch party with some girlfriends.

Update: My crapathon ended on Sunday night, thank goodness. That was a shitty couple of days!

BTW, I’m bowling in the Bear Creek league again. We started on Monday. I’m on a four-person team with Leslie, Mary, and Cathy…all pretty ladies. They aren’t very good bowlers, but this league is a social one, not competitive, so they sit together and chit chat, and, occasionally roll a ball. I thought it might be distracting, but I had a 604 series (201 average) on Monday, so…I guess not.

Speaking of Bear Creek, Charlie and I have lived here for almost 30 years. We’ve seen and done a lot in this master-planned, country club development…more than most. But, we’ve never seen a recall of the entire Master Association Board of Directors…until recently. Quite the news, it was. I understand that homeowner association recalls are quite rare, and our recall election wasn’t even close: the Yes proponents got 90 percent of the vote! Hopefully, things get simmer down around here, and the new Board of Directors will actually listen to property owners instead of working on pet projects and propping up the legal industry.

The big news of the week was the Senatorial race in Alabama, where a Democrat named Doug Jones beat Republican child molester Roy Moore. Incredible! The people of Alabama have done a lot of disreputable things over the decades, but they redeemed themselves yesterday.

Actually, the white voters in Alabama overwhelmingly supported pedophile Moore, but, for a change, the election was tilted against the ex-Judge by a big turnout by black voters. It seems that the only thing that Alabama can brag about anymore is their great college football teams, well-populated by black athletes.

 

This election delivered a well-placed, steel-toed boot to Donald Trump’s ball sack. The President campaigned for his fellow sex pervert, and now enjoys a razor-thin 51-49 majority in the U.S. Senate. This will make it all the more difficult to achieve the Trumpian legislative goals, while Mr. Grab ‘Em is hearing noisy footsteps from the many women he has sexually harassed.

Speaking of the Prez, did you notice that the would-be-Emperor recently had the audacity to declare Jerusalem the capital of Israel? That will surprise the folks in Tel Aviv, the actual capital of that country. One wonders how Donald Trump came to assume that the President of the U.S. had the authority to do such things? Anyway, predictably, Muslims throughout the world are incensed, as Trump added fuel to the fire by signing the official decree in the White House…surrounded by Christmas trees. What a tool!

Within a week, a consortium of Arab nations adopted a resolution declaring Jerusalem to be the capital city of Palestine. Tit for tat. What was accomplished?

Interestingly, the whole Middle East conflict was started by the Western powers just after World War II when they re-drew the political map of Palestine to create Israel, among other ill-conceived moves. The region has been at war ever since. So, President Trump’s “declaration” is particularly offensive to the Middle Eastern world.

If the Prez can’t start-up a new ground war in Palestine, maybe his taunts of North Korea will bear some fruit.

On another subject, I have completed mapping out a preliminary itinerary for our 2018 Road Trip. Initially, I was going to head north toward Oregon, beginning around the first of May. However, I am now thinking of taking a week to reconnoiter Payson, Arizona, where my Wood Mountain teammate Joe Wood resides. He raves about the place. Charlie and I will be looking for a winter haven if/when we sell our Bear Creek home, and Joe claims that Payson is a very pleasant place at that time of year. The altitude there is about 5,000 feet, so it is cooler than other parts of Arizona in the summer months. I like the idea of re-settling there as it would only be a day’s drive from Southern California; so, if we had a family or business event to attend, it would be doable.

We had a nice dinner last night with Terry and Barb, who used to be neighbors here on Lochinvar Court. They moved to Temecula awhile back, but Charlie still does the bookkeeping for Terry’s companies. Anyway, we had dinner and talked about their recent trip to Italy. It was a surprise from Terry to Barb, and I had helped Terry plan the itinerary. They had a ball, and are now talking about doing another trip, maybe to Spain, in 2019. Charlie and I might be interested in that one (Spain is one of our favorite places), but a lot of things may happen in the meanwhile, so we’ll have to let that idea marinate for the time being.

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Tis The Season

Below is Chapter 3 of my book, “Disbelief”.

THE SON OF GOD

The New Testament of the Holy Bible is the alleged story of the life of Jesus of Nazareth and his ministry, his crucifixion and resurrection, the spreading of his message by his apostles and disciples after his death, and apocalyptic prophecy which describes, among other things, Jesus’ anticipated return to earth at the prophesized End of Days.

The New Testament is depicted by Christians as a continuation of the Old Testament story, in the sense that the Old Testament allegedly foretold of a coming Messiah (or, savior of God’s Chosen People, the Jews).  The first four books, the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, are called the Gospels, in which ostensible first-hand observers describe the life and ministry of Jesus and include his verbatim quotes on various topics.  In the Gospels, Jesus of Nazareth is depicted as the long-awaited Messiah of the Hebrews and is declared to be the Son of God.  Two of the books, Matthew and Luke, go to great lengths to establish the fact that Jesus is a blood descendent of historical David, King of Israel.  If true, this would fulfill Hebrew prophecy that foretold of a Messiah coming to restore the Kingdom to its previous glory.

The Pageant in Palestine

The “Jesus Story” begins with an Immaculate Conception (i.e. a virgin is impregnated by the Holy Spirit of God), the baby Jesus is born, and a star hovers over the birthplace in Bethlehem to guide three Magi (wise men) from afar to witness the newborn “King of the Jews”.  Herod the Great, who was supposedly the reigning King of Israel at the time, heard about the Holy birth and, in a move to protect his sovereignty, ordered the massacre of all children under the age of two in Bethlehem and vicinity.  Luckily, Jesus’ father, Joseph, was warned in a dream, and the family was able to successfully flee to Egypt to avoid Herod’s wrath… thus allegedly fulfilling another Hebrew Messianic prophecy.

Very little of Jesus’ life is retold regarding his early years growing up in the town of Nazareth where his father Joseph was a carpenter.  The story picks up steam when Jesus is baptized in the Jordan River at around age 30.  Doing the honors was John the Baptist, who had long been preaching of a coming Son of God.  According to the Gospel of Mark, Jesus saw the heavens part and heard God say to him, “You are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased”.  John the Baptist then declared Jesus to be the “Lamb of God”.

Jesus’ actual religious ministry, as a faith healer and rabbi (teacher) in Galilee and later in Jerusalem, only lasted a year or so, according to Scripture.  He generally taught about the Kingdom of God, morality and prayer, exorcised demons, miraculously healed the sick, spoke in parables and aphorisms, and championed the poor and oppressed.  He also spoke about himself and his divine role, saying that those who believed in him would not die but have everlasting life (i.e. in Heaven).  At the height of his brief ministry, Jesus is said to have attracted huge crowds, numbering in the thousands, to hear his sermons.  During his ministry, Jesus called some his fellow Jewish acquaintances to be his Twelve Apostles (i.e. close disciples, or followers, who were to provide leadership to his ministry).  Much of Jesus teachings were standard-issue Jewish dogma, particularly regarding morality and following the spirit and letter of the law, both spiritual (Hebrew) and temporal (Roman).  However, Jesus did take issue with some of the politics and practices associated with the Temple in Jerusalem, and also made the startling claim that he was the Son of God, thereby generating disfavor among the Hebrew elders in Jerusalem (the Pharisees and the ruling council, the Sanhedrin).

The final chapter in Jesus’ short ministry began when he and his followers visited Jerusalem during the Passover festival.  A large crowd came to meet him there, loudly proclaiming him as “King of Israel”.  Jesus then proceeded to create a disturbance at the Temple by overturning the tables of the moneychangers who set up shop there.  According to the Gospel of John, Jesus also raised Lazarus from the dead on the Sabbath, which further annoyed the Jewish leadership.  All of this seemed to be the plan of Jesus, which he then revealed to his disciples at a Last Supper feast:  he would be put on trial, condemned, and killed, but would return in the form of the Holy Spirit, thereby fulfilling prophecy by suffering, dying, and rising from the dead.  Sure enough, Jesus was later arrested, “tried” by the Sanhedrin, and turned over to Pontius Pilate, the Roman Governor in Judea, for execution.  Jesus was then crucified along with two thieves, and his cross stated that he was being executed for aspiring to be King of the Jews.

The Gospels then report that Jesus later arose from the dead (the Resurrection) and appeared to his disciples, proving to them that he survived the crucifixion and was indeed the Messiah who would soon  return and institute his Kingdom on earth.  After these appearances, Jesus ascended to Heaven (the Ascension) to sit at God’s right hand.  This ends the New Testament story of Jesus’ brief life and earthly achievements.

Carrying Forth the Message

In the fifth book of the New Testament (Acts), the acts of the apostles are documented as they began to carry Jesus’ message out from Jerusalem into the surrounding countryside and then toward the corners of the known world.  It is about this time that a Hebrew man, Saul (later known as Paul) becomes a follower of the “Jesus movement”, having been converted to the cause by means of a divine revelation from Jesus himself.  Paul then becomes the self-appointed thirteenth Apostle and begins to take a leadership role in the expanding ministry and developing the faith.  In the beginning, the ministry was focused on spreading Jesus’ ideas among the followers’ fellow Hebrew countrymen, but eventually the good news was imparted to Gentiles (non-Jews) as well.  At about this time the Jesus followers were beginning to be known as Christians, based on the concept that Jesus was the Christ (Greek for “the anointed one”, referring to the Hebrew concept of the “Messiah”).

The book of Acts chronicles not only the adventures of the Christian apostles and disciples who spread the message, but also some of the internal debate among the followers regarding the Jewishness, so to speak, of the Christian message.  All of the Apostles were Hebrews (as had been Christ himself), and still adhered to “the Law” of the Torah.  But, the numerous and very onerous restrictions of Hebrew law, including circumcision and dietary requirements, were off-putting to potential Christian converts.  So, the leadership came up with a compromise that allowed for Gentile conversions to Christianity without obligating these individuals to adhere 100% to Jewish law.  While this expanded the effective reach of the new Christian ministry, it also resulted in persecution of the Christian missionaries by observant Jews, who felt that the apostolic leadership was betraying its own religion.  To its credit, however, the decision of the Apostles (known afterward as the Apostolic Decree) ultimately enabled Christianity to become a universal religion, available to all people.

The book of Acts is followed by a number of “epistles”, which are formal letters to a person, a group, or a church by Christian leaders of the time.  Within the Epistles, the authors discuss the message of Jesus, expand on the developing Christian theology, and relate to incidents and discussion within the Christian evangelical community.  The Apostle Paul, the only Apostle who never met Jesus, is credited with writing seven of the thirteen Epistles, fleshing out the emerging Christian theology and establishing himself as the most influential Apostle.

The final book of the New Testament is the Revelation (of Apostle John).  It is a very complicated and cryptic compilation of two visions that describe a time of great tribulation on earth, the battle of Armageddon, the return of Jesus (the “second coming”), his thousand-year reign of peace, the Last Judgment, the end of the world as we know it, and the creation of a new heaven on earth in Jerusalem.  It is, in a nutshell, the logical completion of the Hebrew Bible story:  the fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecy concerning the Messiah and His restoration of the Kingdom of Israel.  It also represents the “payday” of sorts for the Christian faithful, who will be rewarded by God for their loyalty with eternal life in Heaven.  It is the original Happy Ending.

Who Wrote These Stories?

Christian church tradition has it that the Apostles Matthew, Mark, Luke and John wrote the Gospels, providing ostensible eye-witness accounts of Jesus’ life and the verbatim transcripts of his sermons and off-the-cuff remarks to his followers and people he met during his brief ministry.

However, virtually all modern-day biblical scholars agree that none of the Gospels were written by Apostles or by anyone who was either an actual disciple of Jesus or even an eyewitness to his ministry.  Most scholars feel that the Gospel authors, whoever they were, finished their work in the 65-150 A.D. timeframe.  Their educated guess is that the earliest of the Gospels (scholars agree it was Mark) was finished no earlier than 30 years, and the last (John) was completed almost 70 to 120 years, after Jesus’ death.  Some scholars argue for later dates, perhaps as much as fifty years later.

The Apostle Paul, who we’ve previously noted never met Jesus, composed the earliest known records mentioning the name “Jesus Christ” in 49-60 A.D.  An interesting aspect of Paul’s writing is the fact that he abstained from mentioning any of the astounding miracles supposedly accomplished by Jesus, in human form, while the Gospel writers, developing their stories many decades later, have vivid memories of many of his fantastic achievements.  One would think that Paul would be well aware of Jesus’ reputation from his fellow Apostles and would be proud of the man who effortlessly walked on water, cured lepers, changed water into wine, raised the dead, and fed 5,000 people with two barley loaves and two fishes.  Instead, in Romans 10:9, Paul informs his audience of the necessity in believing that God raised Jesus from the dead if they want to be saved.  This is especially curious, because, if one is to believe the Gospels, there were hundreds of witnesses to Jesus’ resurrection (in fact, Paul puts the number at 500 in 1 Corinthians 15:6).  One would think that belief would not be necessary if the Resurrection was a known, historical fact at the time.  Another intriguing aspect of Paul’s writings is the common reference to Jesus as an earthly spiritual presence instead of a formerly living individual.  It is almost as if the author actually knew very little about Jesus’ life.  Or, if “Jesus Christ” never actually took human form.

The Apostle Paul is traditionally credited by Christians with having composed as many as fourteen books of the New Testament.  However, biblical scholars believe that he actually wrote at least seven of them himself, while the others bear evidence of after-the-fact editing by persons unknown as late as the second century A.D.  The early Christian church was known for its own redaction (altering) of future biblical works so as to firm-up important theological dogma.   The four canonical (officially endorsed by the Church) Gospels, as previously noted, were written decades after Paul’s epistles.  They were not the only Gospels (i.e. writings that describe the life of Jesus) considered for inclusion in the Bible.  Historians and archaeologists have uncovered evidence of an additional 56 gospels that were produced during the first few centuries of the Christian movement.  Many differ strikingly from the canonized Gospel stories, which share many common alleged incidents, miracles, and speeches.

None of the gospels, including the canonized ones, are originals.  Biblical scholarship reveals that the Matthew, Mark, Luke and John gospel stories were originally untitled and were quoted anonymously in the first half of the second century (100-150 A.D.), but the names by which they are currently known suddenly appear around 180 A.D.  Church tradition holds that the stories were orally passed down from first-hand observers, all of whom would have conveniently died out many decades before the stories began to be circulated.  The opportunity for embellishment of the truth, as the stories were passed down, generation to generation, is obvious.

Also, when the stories were put to paper (parchment), then hand copied, and re-copied numerous times, there were untold opportunities for honest error or minor modifications for political purposes.  And, then, when the stories were translated, additional opportunities for change occurred.  In conclusion, it is highly doubtful that original eye-witness accounts of Jesus’ life, if there are any, survive in any recognizable form within the officially-approved Gospels.

Although early Christian clergy treated Matthew as the original gospel story, virtually all biblical scholars agree that Mark was the original gospel story and was used as a source for the gospels of Matthew and Luke.  The three Gospels are called the synoptic gospels because they share similar incidents, teachings, and even some identical language.  The Matthew and Luke stories contain additional shared material that scholars believe came from another source, postulated as the “Q Document”.  No physical evidence of the document has ever been found; however, it is obvious that some common source was used for the sayings of Jesus.  Whether the originator of the Mark story, or the author of the Q Document, was actually a first-hand observer of Jesus’ ministry, no one knows.  The actual words of Jesus could have been devised by a talented scribe or a group of writers decades after the fact to flesh out the developing mythology.

The Christian tradition is that the words of Jesus in the Gospels are his verbatim quotes; in fact, most Bibles highlight Jesus’ sayings in red ink or italicized print, so that readers will recognize “the Word of God”.  As a matter of fact, many Christian faithful consider everything in the New Testament gospel stories to be one hundred percent factual; i.e. “the Gospel truth”.

However, consider the following example:  Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7:27) is an outdoor oration consisting of over 2,000 words.  Bible readers are expected to accept, on faith, that someone in the crowd, without benefit of a pencil and scratch pad, stenographer skill, or tape recorder or the like, had the presence of mind to memorize every word that Jesus spoke that day.  And, then, that person successfully passed down the verbatim speech to others orally (oral tradition), who then accurately passed it to others, etc., until it was finally put to parchment decades later.  And, now, among the faithful, this sermon, and every other formal and casual utterance of the Lord in the Gospels, is considered “scripture”, i.e. the exact words that came from the Savior’s lips.

Of course, no original parchment of any Sermon on the Mount speech has ever been found.  Whether there ever was one, or whether “Matthew” and/or the author of the Q Document, ever set eyes upon it is unknown.  What is not so amazing is that the finished product (that is, the well-crafted speech that has come down to us through the Bible) is so polished and magnificent.  It is almost as if a team of professional Christian speechwriters had decades to work on it.  And, it is apparent that they did.

Incidently, the earliest known fragment of the “Matthew” gospel story has been dated at around 65 A.D., or about thirty years after Jesus’ famous Sermon.  One can only imagine how many drafts of the story were discarded until the final version was circulated over one hundred years later.

Disagreements Galore

Like Jews who believe that the Old Testament was divinely inspired, Christians generally consider the New Testament to be “God’s Word”.  In fact, some fundamentalist denominations believe that every word in the Bible, in both Old and New Testaments, is divinely inspired:  “God said it, and I believe it!”  The Catholic Church doesn’t go that far, but certainly bases its theology on the overall biblical storyline, selective utilization of Hebrew prophecy, and the message imparted by Jesus and further developed by the Apostle Paul in the New Testament.  But, as in the Old Testament, there are many conflicting ideas and statements in the New Testament that lessen the overall credibility of the document.

The canonical Gospels, which supposedly bear witness to Jesus’ actual life, disagree on many aspects, including his birth, ministry, death, and resurrection.  According to “Matthew”, Jacob was Joseph’s father, there were twenty-eight generations from David to Jesus, the Angel of the Lord spoke to Joseph, and after the birth of Jesus the family fled to Egypt.  On the contrary, “Luke” says that Heli was Joseph’s father, there were forty-three generations from David to Jesus, the Angel of the Lord spoke to Mary, and after the birth of Jesus the family stayed in Jerusalem for forty days, then returned to Nazareth without ever going to Egypt.  One would think that there would be one true birth story, not two.  Interestingly, the Gospel of Mark, which is known to be the earliest of the Jesus stories and the basis of the other tales, makes no mention of any of this.  It is apparent, therefore, that the authors of Matthew and Luke, writing decades after “Mark”, tacked on the Davidic descension and virgin birth stories for theological purposes.  In other words, to make the “Jesus story’ the logical continuation of the Old Testament yarn.

Jesus’ baptism in the Jordan River by John the Baptist was certainly a milestone event in his life.  John went so far as to declare Jesus the “Lamb of God” and declare that he was in fact the “Son of God”.  Word must have spread quickly.  Certainly a few people were aware of Jesus’ actual whereabouts after this declaration.  However, discrepancies exist as to where Jesus was hanging out.  Matthew 4:1-11 records that Jesus immediately went up into the wilderness, where for forty days and nights he fasted and was tempted by the Devil.  In fact, the Devil supposedly took Jesus to “an exceeding high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world”.  Surprisingly, the Gospel of John completely disagrees with the purported aftermath of Jesus’ baptism.  According to “John”, for the next two days Jesus was busy recruiting disciples Simon Peter, Andrew, Phillip, and Nathaniel (John 1:40-51).  And, on the third day Jesus attended a marriage in Cana, Galilee, at which he famously turned six pitchers of water into wine for the guests (John 2:1-8).  Now, even Jesus couldn’t have been in two places at once… or, could he?

Again, the story of how Peter was chosen to be an Apostle is different in three of the Gospels.  Mark 1:16-18 says that fishermen Simon (Peter) and Andrew were casting nets into the sea when Jesus happened by and invited them to come with him and  said “I will make you fishers of men”.  Luke 5:2-11 describes a different version of the fishing story, wherein Jesus instructs hard-luck fisherman Simon to return to the lake and cast his nets in a particular place, whereupon he and his partners in another boat were overwhelmed by such a large catch that it almost sank the two boats.  Simon and his partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were recruited as Apostles on the spot.  No mention is made of Simon’s brother, Andrew.  In yet another version of Simon Peter’s recruitment, John 1:35-42, Andrew hears John talking about Jesus, fetches his brother, Simon, and they go to meet Jesus, who is apparently at his home (“abode”).  Jesus apparently takes a liking to Simon and says that he shall be called Cephas, which means stone.  No mention is made of brother Andrew becoming an Apostle or even having been spoken to by Jesus.

Later in Jesus’ ministry he delivers his most famous sermon.  In Matthew 5:1, he delivers it on a “mount”.  On the other hand, Luke 6:17-49 describes this monumental occasion as having occurred on a plain, not on a hill or mountaintop.  Amazingly, the authors of Mark and John and the Apostle Paul, in his epistles, seem to be totally unfamiliar with either sermon, which was the longest oration recorded in the New Testament and one in which Jesus touched on all of the important themes of his ministry.  It was Jesus’ “valedictorian” speech, as it were, and there seems to be great disagreement on where and, even, if the speech ever occurred.

As we have seen, Jesus nicknamed Apostle Peter “Cephas”, meaning the Rock that he would build his church on.  Peter was a headliner in Jesus’ inner circle, but shortly before the crucifixion, Jesus told Peter that he would disavow any knowledge of Jesus on three occasions, i.e. “before the rooster crows” (in Matthew, Luke and John).  Interestingly, the identities of the people interrogating Peter over his relationship with Jesus differ among the four Gospels.  In Matthew, the subjects were a damsel, another maid, and the crowd.  In Mark, the subjects were a maid, the same maid again, and the crowd.  In Luke, the subjects were a maid, a man, and another man.  And, in John, the subjects were a damsel, the crowd, and a servant of the high priest.  One would think that the final editors of the New Testament, having perhaps a century to get it right, would be able to harmonize what actually happened on that fateful day.

Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve Apostles, has been characterized forevermore as the villain of the Jesus story.  According to the New Testament story, Judas betrayed Jesus to the authorities when they came looking for the troublemaker.  In exchange, he received the infamous bribe of “thirty pieces of silver” to do the dirty deed.

According to Matthew 27:5, Judas had such remorse over the incident that he “cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hung himself.”  Following this, the temple priests took the money and purchased a potter’s field, thus fulfilling the prophecy of someone named Jeremy.  (Author’s note:  Many times in the chronicles of Jesus’ life, the New Testament authors go to great lengths to make sure that the reader knows that the story is fulfilling prophecy… usually having to do with the long-awaited Messiah.)  Interestingly, in the Acts of the Apostles, a completely different version of Judas’ death is told:  “Now this man (Judas) purchased a field with the reward of his iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all of his bowels gushed out.  And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called… the field of blood.” (Acts 1:17-20)

Obviously, there is a big difference between purposely hanging oneself and accidentally falling down and disemboweling oneself.  Certainly, it couldn’t have happened both ways.  The book of Matthew is a Gospel, supposedly a first-hand account of Jesus’ life.  On the other hand, the authorship of Acts, while unknown, was attributed by the early Church fathers to Luke, a physician who was an adherent of Apostle Paul.  Whose story should we believe?

On the way to his crucifixion, Jesus carried his own heavy cross, according to John 19:17.  This is contrary to the testimony of three other Gospel writers (Matthew, Mark, and Luke), who claim that Simon of Cyrene carried it.  Then, once Jesus was nailed to the cross, a sign was placed above the cross.  Once again, there are multiple eye-witness versions:  Matthew 27:37 “This is Jesus King of the Jews”; Mark 15:26:“The King of the Jews”; Luke 23:38: “This is the King of the Jews”; and, John 19:18: “Jesus of Nazareth King of the Jews”.

Similarly, these not-so-sharp eyewitnesses had different recollections of Jesus’ last words.  In Matthew and Mark, Jesus is quoted: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”; in Luke, “Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit.”; and, in John, Jesus’ final utterance is simply, “It is finished.”  Again, there is sufficient variance in the accounts to question if the eyewitnesses were attending the same crucifixion.  After all, two thieves were also crucified that day alongside Jesus.  Crucifixions were common back then.  Perhaps the remembered quotes were from one of the other victims.

The bible story then says that Jesus’ body was taken down from the cross and placed in a tomb.  There is conflicting testimony as to what happened next.  Matthew 28:1 reports that the first visitors to the tomb were Mary Magdalene and the other Mary (i.e. that makes two Mary’s).  In Mark 16:1 we learn that there were both Marys and Salome (i.e. three initial visitors).  Luke 23:55-24:10 has a different spin: there were Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of Jesus, and “other women” (i.e. at least five visitors).  And, finally, in John 20:1, we learn that Mary Magdalene went to the tomb, noticed the stone rolled aside, ran to get Peter and “that other disciple”, who actually entered the tomb.  Obviously, no one proofread these Gospels, because there cannot be four completely different versions of this same incident.

Continuing on, the story gets more confusing, as the visitors, whoever they were, found the tomb empty of Jesus’ body.  Matthew 28:8 says the visitors ran to tell the disciples, Mark 16:8 says that the visitors said nothing to anyone, Luke 24:9 says they told the eleven apostles and “all the rest”, and, finally, John 20:10-11 reports that Peter and the unnamed disciple returned home, while Mary Magdalene remained outside the tomb, weeping.  Logically, since these testimonies are so different, either one of these versions is correct, and the others false, or, perhaps, all of them are ficticious.

The final act of the biblical Jesus story is, of course, Jesus’ resurrection from the dead.  This is the proof that he was divine, and that his own prophetic words were fulfilled.  The Resurrection is a major event in the New Testament, and it would seem critical that the Gospels agree on how it went down.  But, not so.  In Matthew 28:1-18, the first to see the arisen Christ was Mary Magdalene, and the “other” Mary, and then the eleven (apostles).  Mark 16:9-14 reports that it was Mary Magdalene, then “two others:, then the eleven apostles.  Luke 24:1536 remembers it differently:  It was Cleopas and another person, then Simon (Peter?), and then the eleven apostles.  Not so, says John 20:14-21:1, it was Mary Magdalene, then the apostles without Thomas (i.e. “doubting Thomas”), and then the disciples with Thomas.  Amazingly, there is one more version of the Resurrection, as the Apostle Paul reports in 1 Corinthians 15:5-8:  it was Cephas (Peter), then the twelve apostles, and then by 500 plus “brethren” (probably, the followers or general disciples of Jesus).

Of course, Paul wasn’t an Apostle at that time, was not in Jerusalem, and couldn’t really testify accurately as to what happened.  (In fact, Paul never met Jesus while He was alive, and allegedly only experienced the Holy Spirit in a vision while on the road to Damascus one day.)  For example, Paul notes that the “twelve” apostles witnessed the arisen Jesus.  However, there were only eleven apostles at that time, because Judas had either hung or disemboweled himself, and his replacement Matthias wasn’t selected by Jesus’ followers until after Jesus’ Ascension to Heaven (Acts 1).  So, it is obvious that Paul’s recollection of Jesus’ post-Resurrection appearances was at least secondhand; i.e. that someone else passed the faulty tale along to him, and possibly that person had the story handed off to him, as well.  Remember, again, that the Apostle Paul’s writings are the oldest in the New Testament, pre-dating the Gospel accounts by, in some cases, many decades.  Thus, it would seem that if any of these accounts are in error, it would likely be the ones that were written much later than Paul’s; i.e. the canonized Gospel accounts.  This begs the questions:  Who wrote these stories, when, and are they fact-based whatsoever?

Of course, the possibility exists that all of these conflicting accounts are simply different versions of a mythical series of events, similar to the tall tales of the Old Testament.   This is not to say that the person of Jesus never existed.  Rather, it is possible that his Christian biographers over many generations may have developed a very detailed and comprehensive mythology to enhance his provenance and, therefore, underscore the importance of his (or more likely, their) theological message.

Something of this sort would be consistent with the legends developed around Egyptian, Babylonian, Greek, and other cultures’ god systems of antiquity.  According to The Mystical Jesus by Patrick Campbell, Osiris, Hercules, Mithra, Hermes, Prometheus, and Perseus were all pre-Christian gods who (a) had gods for fathers; (b) virgins for mothers; (c) had their births announced by stars; (d) got born on the solstice around December 25th;  (e) had tyrants who tried to kill them in their infancy; (f) met violent deaths; (g) rose from the dead; (h) nearly all got worshipped by “wise men”, and (i) had endured a forty-day fast.  Do these incidents sound familiar?  Yes, these are the very same things that allegedly happened to Jesus Christ.

In antiquity, god mythology was totally believed by the faithful.  Today, the old god myths are treated as absolute works of fiction… to some degree because modern cultures have adopted new theologies, each with its own, possibly borrowed, “new and improved” mythology.

The Historicity of Jesus

Detailed recordkeeping documented actual historical events for thousands of years before Jesus allegedly walked the earth.

Phonetic writing was developed independently in four civilizations of the world, namely Sumeria, Egypt, China and Mesoamerica.  The earliest writing may have taken place in Sumeria (located in modern Iraq) as early as 3,500 years before Christ.  As these civilizations matured, there developed comprehensive systems of recordkeeping regarding business, government, astronomy, religion and other important matters of the day.

The early Egyptians recorded hieroglyphical accounts of military campaigns, floods, droughts, crop yields, and political initiatives.  Another example of historical recordkeeping is the so-called Amarna Letters.  This archive of diplomatic correspondence, which was written in Akkadian cuneiform (a Mesopotamian writing system) on clay tablets, dates from the reign of Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten circa 1,340 B.C.

Another well known historical document of antiquity is called the Canon of Kings.  Sometimes referred to as Ptolomey’s Canon (named after the astronomer Claudius Ptolomey), it is a dated king’s list used by ancient astronomers to date astronomical phenomena.  The Canon is considered by modern historians to be extremely accurate, chronicling the rulers of the Middle East, in continuous succession, from King Nabonassar of Babylon in 747 B.C., to Persian King Cyrus the Great, to Macedonian King Alexander the Great, to the Ptolemic pharaohs of Egypt, and all the way up to Roman Emperor Aelius Antonius in 160 A.D.

During all of these thousands of years in the Middle East, records of all types were being kept of actual events by a developing class of professional scribes and historians.  Probably the most famous was a Greek named Herodotus of Halicarnassus who lived in the 5th century B.C.  Known as the Father of History in Western culture, he was the first to collect his materials systematically, test their accuracy, and arrange them in a vivid and well-constructed narrative.  Many Greeks and, then, Romans followed in the footsteps of Herodotus, recording important historic, cultural, and political events of the day within the known world.

Like the supposed founders of virtually every religion, Jesus Christ left no personal writings of any kind, nor any trace of his existence.  Indeed, his supposed direct ascension into heaven precludes the possibility of there even being any bodily evidence to his existence, if that story were to be believed.  No writing, graffiti, or evidence of any kind has ever been found from the period in which he supposedly lived that establishes the existence of Jesus.  Another telling fact:  the alleged sites of Jesus’ birth, crucifixion, and ascension to Heaven were not venerated (i.e. publicly celebrated as holy by his followers) until at least three hundred years after he allegedly roamed the earth.  There was not even one plaque put in place saying that “From this tomb, Jesus Christ rose from the dead!”, or “The Son of God ascended to Heaven from this very spot!”

Make-Believe History

The New Testament, although purporting to relate the true events in the life of Jesus Christ, does not qualify as a bona fide historical document.  For one thing, no one knows who wrote the “historical” narratives that are the Gospels, whether any of the stories were based on first-hand observation, or whether any of the purported witnesses or authors even lived in the time of Jesus.  There is simply no unbiased correlating historical or archaeological evidence to back up the biblical Jesus story.  Because of this problem, Christians are asked by church authorities to believe these stories as an “article of faith”.  In other words, if you want to go to Heaven, you must not question these incredible tales or, more importantly, the guys who are telling them to you.  You must, like you do when you go into a movie theatre, suspend disbelief.

Secondly, many of the events noted in the Bible do not square with actual historical or archaeological evidence relating to that time period.  For example, the Gospel of Matthew says that Jesus was born during the reign of King Herod, circa 4 B.C.  Matthew also asserts that the King ordered the killing of all children under the age of two in the Bethlehem vicinity in order to rid himself of the newborn Savior (the incident is the so-called “Slaughter of the Innocents”).  Such an atrocity would have been devastating news to families in the region, which they and their relatives would never forget or forgive.  However, actual historians of that time and place, such as Philo and Flavius Josephus, do not record such an atrocity.

Matthew says that Joseph and Mary hustled the baby Jesus off to Egypt while King Herod was killing the infants.  Curiously, the Gospel of Luke places the nativity story ten years later, in 6 A.D., during the reign of Roman Emperor Caesar Augustus.  Luke’s version has the pregnant Mary and husband Joseph traveling from their home in the city of Nazareth to Bethlehem to register in the Census of Quirinius.  They never make the sojourn to Egypt, and Luke is silent about King Herod’s murderous rampage.  So, one of these accounts, either Matthew’s or Luke’s is in error, casting doubt on the veracity of other “actual” events in their version of Jesus’ life.

What is also interesting about the Census of Quirinius is that it actually happened, but not the way it is portrayed in the Gospel of Luke.  Quirinius was a governor of Syria during the reign of King Herod, and the census that Quirinius took was accomplished in 6 A.D., some 9 or 10 years after the death of Herod.  Compounding these discrepancies is the fact that no census in history was conducted where descendants were required to relocate to their ancestors’ homes to be counted; it would defeat the purpose of a census, which is counting the number of people who live in a locality.

What we learn from these discrepancies is that Jesus could not have been born during the reign of King Herod, and therefore Herod sent no Magi (following the Bethlehem Star) to observe the baby Jesus in the manger, there was no massacre of innocent children, nor the need for Joseph to take his family to Egypt.  These are obviously, then, mythological additions to Mark’s original Jesus story by Matthew and Luke to spice up the tale.

Later in the Jesus story, the same Luke also reports a particular astronomical event that would have caught the attention of anyone interested in the “heavens”.  According to Luke 23:44-45, on the day of the crucifixion, there occurred “about the sixth hour, and there was darkness all over the earth until the ninth hour, and the sun was darkened.”  Incredibly, not a single mention of such a three-hour ecliptic event got recorded by any astronomer or astrologer, anywhere in the world, including famous regional historians Pliny the Elder and Seneca, who both recorded solar eclipses from other dates.  That’s unusual because solar eclipses last a matter of minutes, not hours.  Any astronomer who observed such a lengthy eclipse would never forget it.

Amazingly, not a single person in the world alive on that fateful day recorded the actual Crucifixion of the Son of God, either.  It wasn’t until 30 years had gone by that someone considered the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ to be…important enough to be written about?  Or, perhaps, someone decided to conjure up an unbelievable tale.

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, Philo of Alexandria was a well-known historian who failed to note Jesus’ existence when he was supposedly alive.  Philo, a prolific Jewish writer who lived from 20 B.C. to 50 A.D. (encompassing the entire supposed lifespan of Jesus Christ), wrote extensively about the political and theological movements throughout the Mediterranean, and his philosophical/theological views foreshadowed aspects of Christian theology.  Almost all of Philo’s works are preserved, and he provided the only contemporary account of Pontius Pilate in all of ancient literature.  He wrote about political conflicts between the Jews and Pontius Pilate in Judea.  Yet, Philo never once wrote anything about Jesus.  Not one mention of this Messianic figure, a faith-healer with a following of thousands, a man who had caused so much trouble with the Jewish establishment that Pilate had to condemn him to death, and a man who had then cheated death and ascended to Heaven.  Philo wrote about all manner of Jewish matters in ancient Palestine but, unbelievably, the Jesus Christ story was not newsworthy to this esteemed historian?  How can that be, you ask?  Most likely it’s because the Jesus story is a myth.

Lastly, some of the Gospel incidents “reported” as fact are obviously of a mythological nature, reflecting on the theological motivation of the authors.  The Gospels of Matthew and Luke go to great lengths in describing the supposed lineage of Jesus in an effort to make him appear a blood relative of famous King David, (thereby fulfilling Hebrew messianic prophecy).  Luke, in fact, traces Jesus lineage through male ancestors all the way back to Adam, the mythical first man on earth (Luke 3:23-38)!  Matthew traces Jesus’ supposed lineage all the way back to the patriarch Abraham.  Both accounts follow the supposed male ancestry of Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father.  However, with regard to the conception of Jesus, the same Gospels make it abundantly clear that the Holy Ghost, not her husband Joseph, “went into” the virgin Mary, impregnating the virgin woman.  Therefore, either the fulfillment of messianic prophecy is a myth (because Jesus is no descendent of King David), or the Immaculate Conception is a myth and Jesus could have been the Messiah.  Or, most likely, both are myths.

In another birth story, the Gospel of Luke mentions the fact that Jesus was conceived when his mother Mary’s friend Elizabeth was six-months pregnant with her son-to-be (John the Baptist).  When Mary came to tell Elizabeth the wonderful news, Elizabeth’s unborn son “jumped for joy” in her womb. (Luke 1:40-41)  Obviously, the authors of the Gospel Luke, writing decades after Jesus’ death, couldn’t have witnessed this incident, nor could pregnant Elizabeth have determined why her unborn child “jumped”.  This story sounds suspiciously like a conveniently manufactured myth.

Later, during Jesus’ crucifixion ordeal, Matthew testifies that a large earthquake occurred which was so strong that it opened graves “and many bodies of the saints which slept arose”.  Matthew goes on to mention matter-of-factly that, after the Resurrection, these arisen saints “went into the holy city, and appeared to many.”(Matthew 27:51-54)  Understandably, not a single contemporary person living in Palestine at that time, or any Temple scribe, or any of the historians documenting events of the time, made mention of the destructive earthquake or of well-known dead people wandering the streets of Jerusalem.  It was as if famous people got crucified every day and rose from the dead, accompanied by legions of other now-enervated corpses.  Apparently, it wasn’t even considered newsworthy in Palestine.  Or, almost certainly, these events never happened at all.

Suspicious Inconsistencies

One of the more important and dramatic episodes in the Jesus Story is, of course, his trial, conviction, and crucifixion.  It represents, metaphorically, the rejection of Jesus’ ministry by the Jews, a message which has been used by Christians ever since to justify their “new covenant with God” and anti-semitic attitudes, as well.  But, did these events really occur as described, or at all?

What is very suspicious about the trial of Jesus is that it defies the historical character of the Sanhedrin (the Jewish body of judges) and their own well-known rules of conduct, as well as Jewish tradition.  The synoptic Gospels have Jesus crucified on the day of Passover, which is considered one of the holiest of Jewish holidays, and is considered a time of forgiveness and celebration.  That the Jewish authorities would have held a public execution of someone (a rabbi?) at this time is unfathomable.  Not only this, but the arrest and (very short) trial of Jesus supposedly took place at night on Passover eve.  That the Sanhedrin would have assembled in the middle of the night on Passover eve to pass a quick judgment on anyone defies reason, coupled with the fact that the Jesus Story has members of the Sanhedrin slapping and spitting on the defendant.  This would be comparable to our own Supreme Court members acting in this savage way; it just wouldn’t happen.

Not only is the story not logical or believable, it defies the traditions of the Sanhedrin.  The rules of the Sanhedrin court that were in effect at the time, according to the Jewish Mishnah (rabinnic history of judicial cases), were as follows:  1)  No criminal session was allowed at night; 2) No Sanhedrin trial could be heard at any place other than in the Temple precincts; 3) No capital crime could be tried in a one-day sitting; 4) No criminal trial could be held on the eve of a Sabbath or festival; 5) No one could be found guilty on his own confession; 6) No blasphemy charge could be sustained unless the accused pronounced the name of God in front of witnesses; and, 7) The Sanhedrin were allowed to execute people on their own and did not need the Romans to do so for them.  The supposed trial of Jesus Christ violated all of these rules.  So, the story of Jesus’ arrest and execution seems quite implausible at the outset, but when one considers the symbolism of the story it becomes apparent that this basis of the New Testament story is theological, not historical.

How Credible Is This?

So, did the Jesus Christ that we have all read about really exist?  Or, have we been subjected to an overblown mythology of a man whose promising life was cut short, greatly disappointing his admirers?

The Gospels portray Jesus as a faith healer known far and wide, not only by a great multitude of followers but by the great priests, the Roman governor Pilate, and Herod, who claims that he had heard “of the fame of Jesus” (Matthew 14:1)   It was reported that “there followed Him great multitudes of people from Galilee, and from Decapolis, and from Jerusalem, and from Judea, and from beyond Jordan.” (Matthew 4:25)  Luke 12:1 testifies that some of the gatherings grew so large that an “innumerable multitude of people…trode on one another”.  It was also reported that there grew “a fame abroad of him: and great multitudes came together to hear…” (Luke 5:15)  The persecution of Jesus in Jerusalem drew so much attention that all the chief priests and scribes, including the high priest Caiaphas, not only knew about him but determined that he should be executed. (Matthew 21:15-23, 26:3, Luke 19:47, 23:13)

So, here we have an allegedly famous prophet and healer, with great multitudes of people following him, calling him the “Son of God” and the “Messiah”, who was known to the greatest Jewish high priests and the Roman authorities of the area, and, yet… not one person recorded his existence during his lifetime?  How could that be?

Consider the fact that Philo Judaeus, the greatest Jewish-Hellenistic philosopher and historian of the time, lived in the area of Jerusalem during the alleged life of Jesus.  He wrote detailed accounts of Jewish events that occurred in the surrounding area.  Jesus, a Jew, was allegedly preaching to “multitudes” of Philo’s Jewish countrymen, performing miracles, and being hailed as the Messiah.  Yet, not once, in all of his volumes of writings, does Philo mention Jesus “the Christ”.  Nor is any mention of Jesus found in the writings of other contemporary historians (i.e. alive in Jesus’ time), like Seneca and Pliny the Elder.  If such a well-known Jesus existed, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that his fame would have reached these contemporary historians?  Yet, not one Jewish, Greek or Roman writer, even those who lived in the Middle East, much less anywhere else on earth, ever mentioned his name during his lifetime.

It is as if…Jesus never existed, or if he did, his legacy has been shamelessly exaggerated.

For a man who was evidently known far and wide by “multitudes” of citizens, officials, and priests, and certainly made no effort to fly under the radar, it is odd that one of Jesus’s apostles, Judas Iscariot, was needed to “betray” Jesus to officials, to say, “That’s him!”  Particularly, since Jesus supposedly foretold his own execution, which was itself foretold, supposedly, in the Old Testament.  The only possible motive for a “betrayal” incident, in which a well-known blasphemer is fingered, is for the story to fulfill an Old Testament prophecy.

And, then, as mentioned previously, the Gospels differed on how, exactly, the prophecy was fulfilled!

Did Anyone Really Know This Guy?

As previously noted, the first historical mention of “Jesus Christ” is in the Pauline letters, which were written as early as perhaps thirty years after Jesus’ supposed death.  The Epistles do not contain any information about the life of Jesus.  On the other hand, the supposed eyewitness accounts and obvious myths that comprise the biblical life story of Jesus were composed by anonymous authors in the late 1st and early 2nd centuries.  These accounts were then re-worked, edited, and enhanced untold times into the 3rd century by writers influenced by the emerging Christian church.  Since there are no original manuscripts of the Gospels, it is unknown if any of the supposedly truthful information about Jesus is uncontaminated.

What one can glean from the Biblical historical record is that a self-appointed Apostle Paul was preaching a “Jesus Christ” theology in the Middle East in the mid- to later-1st century.  We know this because of the Pauline correspondence, much of which has been assumed to be historical and real.  Paul’s epistles are historic evidence that the followers of a “Jesus Christ” theology (later designated Christians) were alive and actively spreading the Jesus message in the mid- to late- 1st century.  This theology has come to be associated with the Jesus Christ story that was later popularized in the Gospel stories.

Whether or not there was an actual Jesus Christ person who spawned the theology, it is impossible to determine.  If there was, he probably wasn’t famous throughout the land, at least under the name of Jesus (of Nazareth), because there is no credible historical mention of his birth, ministry in Galilee, his trial by the Sanhedrin, or his crucifixion by Roman authorities.  And, it is highly unlikely that his Resurrection and Ascension to Heaven, supposedly witnessed by many, would not have been noticed and written about by his contemporaries.  After all, how often do humans arise from the dead, be observed by 500 people, and ascend into heaven?  So, it should be obvious to anyone that a large quantity of mythology has been layered onto the story of the actual Jesus, if there was one.

Prior to the adoption of Catholicism by the Roman Empire in the 4th century (i.e. 300 years later), there were many different beliefs about Jesus Christ.  The Catholics held a specific view of Jesus Christ as a real, live, historical person, who was both God, the only son of God, and a fully human being.  During the first three centuries of Christian belief, however, this was not the case.  There were many different groups of Christians early on, and they had differing views about the “Jesus Christ” character, including some who thought that he had not existed “in the flesh”.  Some of the Christian sects and beliefs include:

Marcionism – Christ was a purely spiritual entity

Nestorianism – Jesus and Christ were two different entities

Docetism – Jesus appeared physical, but he was really incorporeal

Apollinarism – Jesus had a human body and human soul, but a divine mind

Arianism – Jesus was the son of God, not God himself

Catholicism – Jesus was fully human and fully divine, both God and the son of God

Some of the non-Catholic groups, which are often lumped together under the name “Gnostics”, also used some of the Gospels in their teachings, and some of them even had different versions of some of the Gospels and different versions of the letters of Paul, in addition to other writings that they considered holy.  The Catholics, in fact, were a late-developing group, that came along after some of the Gnostic groups.  Scholars don’t have much information from these different groups in their own words;  instead, what survives are comments on these groups made by Catholics and other opponents of their views.

The logical question is, “If Jesus Christ had been a man on earth and led a life like the one portrayed in the Gospels, then how could there be such a wide variety of beliefs about who and what Jesus Christ was?”

Somebody Save Us!

The entire Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments alike, is replete with prophecies.  One estimate has it that twenty percent of the entire document is prophetic in nature, i.e. concerned with the prediction of future events or the fulfillment of such predictions.  In the Old Testament, the children of Israel are engaged in a seemingly endless succession of battles to secure their “Promised Land”.  Prophets (i.e. “holy men” who claim to have spoken to God) appear regularly throughout the narrative to predict the outcome of military battles, to warn of God’s wrath if his children don’t heed his advice, and to promise better times ahead if the Children of Israel will follow God’s plan for them.  The most important event that is foretold by Hebrew prophets is the coming of a Messiah (a Hebrew term meaning “anointed one”, typically used to describe Jewish priests, prophets, and kings).

In order to understand the Messiah concept, one must know a bit about the history of the Jewish people.  If the Old Testament chronology is to be believed, God’s Chosen People finally achieved a united Kingdom of Israel in approximately 1,000 B.C. under King Saul.  He was succeeded by his son, King David, who reigned for about thirty years and is perhaps the most revered man in late Jewish antiquity.   He is also the first Jewish leader mentioned in the Old Testament who can be historically documented as having actually lived.  King David’s successor, his son Solomon, reputedly built the First Temple (“The Temple”) on the Temple Mount in the old city of Jerusalem.  According to classical Jewish belief, the Temple acts as the figurative “footstool” of God’s presence in the physical world.  It was the center of ancient Judaism, and supposedly housed the Ark of the Covenant (i.e. the holy container of the Ten Commandments), although the Ark was never on public display.

The First Temple stood for about four hundred years until it was destroyed by the very real Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar in 586 B.C., during a period where the Jews were systematically deported from their “homeland” to Babylon.  This displacement caused great upheaval and despair among the Jewish people, causing them to begin to hope for a special “annointed one” (a messiah) who would bring them home.

Several written prophecies were seemingly fulfilled when Persian King Cyrus the Great overthrew the Babylonians in 538 B.C. and gave permission to the Jews to return to their native lands.  Approximately 40,000 of them did return.  The so-called Babylonian Captivity and subsequent return to Israel were seen as one of the pivotal events between God and “his people”.  Just as they had been subjected to slavery by the Egyptians, and then saved by God, the Israelites had once again been punished by the Babylonians, and then saved again.  The Second Temple was authorized to be built by King Cyrus, and the new structure stood on the Temple Mount for five hundred years.

Beginning in the second century B.C., the Jews were again suffering from repression at the hands of their Seleucid and Roman conquerors, and renewed their hope of a military leader (a messiah) who would help reestablish the independent Jewish kingdom.  In 66 A.D. there began the Great Jewish Revolt pitting hard-line Jewish rebels (zealots) against the Roman Empire, which had dominion over Palestine at the time.   What started as a religious squabble between Greeks and Jews quickly spiraled out of control and Roman legions were called in to quash the rebellion.  The civil war was finally ended in 70 A.D. when the Second Temple was ransacked and then totally destroyed by the conquering Roman army, and much of the surviving Jewish population was deported from Israel or sold into slavery.  The diaspora (displaced and scattered throughout Europe and Asia) Jews now, more than ever, were desperate for some sign of their Messiah.

The Jesus Christ Construct

At about this moment in history, a Jewish cult was gaining traction in the Middle East.   Paul of Tarsus was preaching a messianic theology based on the concept of Jesus Christ, which basically couples the Greek name (Jesus) for the Hebrew name of Joshua or Y’shua, which means “The LORD or Yahweh is Salvation”, with the Greek term (Christ) for the Hebrew word (Messiah) which means “anointed one”.  Thus, the conceptual moniker, Jesus Christ, means a holy anointed savior.

Tellingly, the “Apostle” Paul doesn’t include any narrative in his epistles about the life of a Jesus Christ person; his Jesus Christ character is strictly a theological device for understanding salvation that this Savior construct represents.  Concurrently with the Jesus Christ cult spreading out among the desperate Jews, the first of the Gospel stories about a real man named Jesus Christ began to be circulated.  As previously noted, experts feel that the Gospel of Mark, the earliest of the Gospels and the source of information for the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, was originated around 65 A.D.

And, so, there occurred a harmonic convergence of three imperatives:  The Jews desperately needed a Messiah; the Jesus Christ cult needed to convert Jews; and, the Jesus Christ Story needed a literary “hook” to spellbind the reader.  Not surprisingly, the subsequent Gospels, via the Jesus Christ pageant, go to great lengths to establish the bona fides of Jesus as the long-awaited Jewish Messiah.

Not a Jewish Messiah

Most Christians today believe that the biblical Messianic prophecies are fulfilled by Christ Jesus, while Jews still await the arrival of the true Messiah.  This is paradoxical because Christianity, as it has developed over the millennia, has made a conscious effort to distance itself from the Jews (even to the extent that it originated and has fanned anti-semitism).  Christian dogma is also clear that the New Testament is reflective of a “New Covenant” with God that supercedes God’s original covenant with his Chosen People, the Jews.  How do the Christians validate this belief?  Ironically, they fall back on the Hebrew Old Testament and Hebrew prophets to validate their new religion, which is patently anti-Hebrew.  Why would they do that?  Hold the thought…

The following are the scriptural requirements in Judaism (i.e. the Old Testament) concerning the Messiah, his actions, and his reign.  Jewish sources insist that the real Messiah will fulfill the prophecies outright.

The Sanhedrin will be re-established. (Isaiah 1:26)

Once he is King, leaders of other nations will look to him for guidance. (Isaiah 2:4)

The whole world will worship the One God of Israel.  (Isaiah 2:17)

He will be descended from King David. (Isaiah 11:1) via Solomon (1 Chron 22:8-10)

The Messiah will be a man of this world, an observant Jew with “fear of God”. (Isaiah 11:2)

Evil and tyranny will not be able to stand before his leadership. (Isaiah 11:4)

Knowledge of God will fill the world. (Isaiah 11:9)

He will include and attract people from all cultures and nations. (Isaiah 11:10)

All Israelites will be returned to the Land of Israel. (Isaiah 11:12)

Death will be swallowed up forever.  There will be no more hunger or illness, and death will cease. (Isaiah 25:8)

All of the dead will rise again.  According to the Zohar this will happen forty years after the arrival of the Messiah. (Isaiah 26:19)

The Jewish people will experience eternal joy and gladness. (Isaiah 51:11)

He will be a messenger of peace. (Isaiah 52:7)

Nations will end up recognizing the wrongs they did to Israel. (Isaiah 52:13-53:5)

The peoples of the world will turn to the Jews for spiritual guidance. (Zechariah 8:23)

The ruined cities of Israel will be restored. (Ezekiel 16:55)

Weapons of war will be destroyed. (Ezekiel 39:9)

The Temple will be rebuilt (Ezekiel 40) resuming many of the suspended 613 comandments.

He will rebuild the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. (Micah 4:1)

He will gather the Jewish people from exile and return them to Israel. (Isaiah 11:12, 27:12-13)

He will bring world peace. (Isaiah 2:4, Isaiah 11:6, Micah 4:3)

He will influence the entire world to acknowledge and serve one God. (Isaiah 11:9, 40:5, Zephaniah 3:9)

He will then perfect the entire world to serve God. (Zephaniah 3:9)

He will give you all the worthy desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4)

He will take the barren land and make it abundant and fruitful. (Isaiah 51:3, Amos 9:13-15, Ezekiel 36:29-30, Isaiah 11:6-9)

Again, these are the Jewish requirements to fulfill the Jewish prophecies regarding the true Jewish Messiah.  Twelve of the twenty-five prophecies are applicable specifically to Jews, while the others could be construed to benefit all the people of the world.

Jesus, and many other would-be Messiahs throughout the generations, have come and gone, and none of the above prophecies has been fulfilled, at least according to Hebrew scholars and rabbis.

Amazing Prophecy Fulfillment

Some of the supposed fulfillment of biblical prophecy by Jesus Christ, according to Christians, is actually the result of mistranslation of Hebrew scripture by the Christian biographers (or, most likely, mythographers).

Probably the most famous and significant example involves the supposed conception of Jesus.  According to Matthew, the Angel of the Lord advises Joseph that the Holy Ghost has impregnated his virgin wife.  Again, we see the familiar preface, “Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet.”  Then, Matthew goes on to relate the (Isaiah’s) prophecy, “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.”  Unfortunately, the actual Jewish translation of the Isaiah passage reads, “Behold, the young woman is with child and will bear a son and she will call his name Immanuel.”  In this case, the New Testament writers, perhaps to provide more gravitas to the hero Jesus (i.e. like Hercules, Osiris, Hermes, etc.) by making him the son of a god, intentionally altered the Isaiah passage so that it would fit the divine conception thesis.  Remember…the Jesus stories were written to attract new converts, primarily Gentiles, who wouldn’t have read or understood the Old Testament.  Despite these shenanigans, mother Mary goes ahead and un-fulfills the prophecy when she names her son Jesus, not Immanuel.

While we’re on the subject of mother Mary, the Gospels of Matthew and Mark completely undermine the concept of Jesus as the Jewish Messiah when they relate the fact that Joseph is not the biological father of Jesus.  Since ancestral bloodlines in the Old Testament are tracked through the male parent, and Jesus is not a biological descendent of Joseph, then therefore he is not of the House of David.  Recall that the Jewish prophet Isaiah specifies that the Messiah will be descended from King David.

Another way that the Gospel writers have Jesus fulfilling prophecy is by misinterpreting an Old Testament passage.  Matthew 2:17-18 gives the killing of innocents by King Herod as the fulfillment of a prophecy in Jeremiah 31:15-23:  “A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted because they are no more.”  Actually, the phrase “because her children are no more” refers to the captivity of Rachel’s children.  Subsequent verses describe their return to Israel.  Again, this alleged prophecy fulfillment was preceded by the confident announcement, “Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet…”.  Not only does Jeremiah’s prophecy have nothing to do with the alleged “Slaughter of the Innocents”, but we have previously noted that recorded history doesn’t include mention of any atrocity of that type happening under King Herod.  One theory has it that the Christian writers were trying to associate Jesus’ life with the life of the patriarch Moses, who supposedly survived an infanticide ordered by the Pharaoh of Egypt.  In the end, it appears that the Gospel of Matthew writers misapplied an Old Testament prophecy to an event that they created out of thin air solely for the purpose of adding stature to their hero.  Again, Gentiles reading the make-believe Jesus Story wouldn’t know the difference, so maybe the attitude was “what they don’t know won’t hurt them”.

Expanding on his phony Slaughter of the Innocents tale, Matthew then claims more fulfillment of prophecy when he states, “So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, when he stayed until the death of Herod.” (Matthew 2:14)  Matthew is speaking about Joseph, husband of Mary, who was the mother of the child, Jesus.  Again, “And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: ‘Out of Egypt I called my son.’”  Actually, the prophetic passage is from Hosea 11:1, and has nothing to do with that Joseph (or Jesus).  Hosea is quoting God when He says, “When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.”  The context of the Hosea passage involves God talking about Ephraim, the son of Joseph (who was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, but rose to become the most powerful man in Egypt after the Pharaoh.  Joseph then brought his entire family down from Caanan and settled there in Goshen.)  Ephraim was his son, and is counted as the founder of the Israelite Tribe of Ephraim, one of the twelve Israelite tribes.  From Ephraim descended Joshua who became the leader of the Israelites after the death of Moses.  After returning from Egypt, Joshua led the Israelite tribes in the conquest of Caanan.  Matthew’s attempt to somehow link Joseph, Jesus’ stepfather, with the heroic tribe of Ephraim that included the heroes of the Exodus (Moses and Joshua) is bogus.  Anyone who has actually read the Bible will recognize the clumsy deception.

Yet another example of convenient misinterpretation of Old Testament prophecy is in Hebrews 1:5, where the Apostle Paul quotes God foretelling His future relationship with Jesus, “I will be his Father, and he will be my Son.”  This is a very dishonest ploy by Paul, who was supposedly a Jewish Pharisee and a son of a Pharisee and, therefore, very learned when it came to the Old Testament.  The prophecy that the Apostle is referring to comes from II Samuel 7:14, and actually refers to God’s plan for Solomon to build the First Temple.  It is Solomon who will be God’s figurative Son, because he will be building a house for (the presence of) God to dwell in.  This is not an accidental “misinterpretation” by Paul; it is another clumsy deception, but one which the average Christian reader would not notice because he would want to believe the passage.

Vaticinium Ex Eventu

The early Christians writing the Gospels were familiar with Old Testament prophecy because they were the dispirited Jewish clergy in exile.  And, they had the benefit of writing the Jesus legends decades after Jesus’ supposed death.  In other words, they had the opportunity to craft the stories in such a way that the hero Jesus was able to fulfill known biblical prophecy.  For example, if an Old Testament prophecy had been made that a messianic figure would arrive in Jerusalem on the back of a donkey, then the New Testament Gospel writers could portray Jesus participating in such an event, thereby appearing to fulfill prophecy.

There is an academic term for this, vaticinium ex eventu, or foretelling after the fact.  To put it another way, it is postdiction, rather than prediction.  In the example cited above, Jesus supposedly arranges for his disciples to secure the donkey for him to ride, but Matthew gives away what was really happening when it is admitted, “All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet).” (Matthew 21:5)  In other words, Jesus (or, more likely, his mythographers) staged the event, much like the writers of the movie Forrest Gump blended the activities of their fictional hero into known events, as if Forrest Gump had actually participated in them, affecting a suspension of disbelief in the viewer.

Christian apologists can identify numerous supposed Old Testament prophecies associated with the “coming Messiah” which are supposedly fulfilled by Jesus in the New Testament.  The problem with all of these fulfilled prophecies is that every story that describes prophecy fulfillment by Jesus was written well after Jesus’ supposed lifetime by the new “Christian” clergy who had an agenda.  The newly-costumed priests were actively proselytizing Jews and Gentiles, i.e. trying to impress new customers.  It has already been established that no one knows who wrote these stories, it is unknown whether any of the authors’ work was based on any eyewitness testimony, and a number of the alleged incidents are known to be historically invalid.

Although the after-the-fact “evidence” seems to fulfill some obscure messianic prophecies, the New Testament stories do not fulfill the significant Jewish prophecies, listed earlier in this chapter, which would qualify a contender for the title of “the Messiah”.  For example, if the Messiah had really already arrived (in the person of Jesus), the Temple would be re-built, the ruined ancient cities of Israel would be restored, all of the exiled Jews would be returned to Israel, and all nations would be worshipping the One God of Israel.  None of these has occurred; therefore, it is reasonable and rational to assume that Jesus was not, and cannot be, the Messiah that was foretold by the great Hebrew prophets.

A New and Improved Savior

It is obvious that the story of Jesus Christ needed to include some provenance, some stature to legitimize the break-away Jewish cult and its “different” message.  Jesus could not simply be a fantastic faith-healer with good ideas, because there were many of them wandering Palestine at the time.  Jesus also had to be important.  Potential converts to his new brand of Judaism had to be outraged that he had been put down in his prime, that his important message had been ignored and quashed by the Authorities.  Hence, the Gospel writers felt the imperative to concoct a fantastic pedigree for their hero: he was the Messiah!  After-the-fact prophecy fulfillment was obviously a literary tool they used with gusto to “close the deal” with their gullible audience, Jews who wanted to believe, and Gentiles who didn’t know any better.

A Messiah never arrived to save the Jews and fulfill the Old Testament messianic prophecies.  The Jewish people, who had been driven out of Palestine and scattered to the four winds first by the Babylonians and then the Romans, never regained their Promised Land and re-constituted their Kingdom of Judea.  Not to mention the other unfulfilled prophecies, like “the whole world worshipping the one God of Israel”, “all Israelites will be returned to the land of Israel”, “all of the dead will rise again”, “the Temple will be rebuilt”, etc.

If, as Christians today claim, Jesus’ job here was not to save the Jews but to establish a “new covenant” between believers and God, then…why is the New Testament replete with ties back to the Old Testament?  Why wouldn’t the Jesus cult just start with a clean slate, unencumbered by the baggage of the “failed” Hebrew faith?

The answer is that the priests who were peddling the new faith were frustrated Jews.  The Hebrew faith, while a minority creed in the Roman Empire, was respected due to its antiquity and moral teachings, and religious tolerance was observed by the Romans of that time.  There was no problem with any religion as long as it posed no threat to Roman authority.  So, the new religious product (i.e. Christianity) was merchandised as a “new, improved” version of Judaism, thereby benefitting from the gravitas of the established religion, but simultaneously offering lessened membership requirements (i.e. no circumcision or food prohibitions) and heavenly rewards.  Once the ball got rolling, the once-Jewish priest authors of the new creed added new bells and whistles to the product to reduce its Jewishness and, thus, improve the Christian sales pitch.

The number one salesman of all-time, if you believe the New Testament, was the so-called, self-appointed Apostle Paul.   He was supposedly an ex-Pharisee, a Jewish official.  Whether Paul of Tarsus was a real or mythical person, no one knows.  But, the ideas that he pitched, as captured in the many letters and epistles ascribed to him in the Bible, pretty much fill out the sales brochure for the developing Catholic Church in the several hundred years following the alleged passing of Jesus Christ.

Oh Parsnip!

The 2017 Wood Mountain Christmas Trees’ annual retreat in beautiful Aurora, Oregon is drawing to a merciful close. Hanging out in a farmhouse with five other men may excite Elton John, but, to me, its a tad excessive.

And, as always when you get a bunch of guys together, the behavior of the group tends to seek the lowest common denominator; i.e. lots of indiscriminate and totally uncalled for cussing, blaspheming, burping, passing of gas, and crummy jokes.

Yeah… we had man fun.

(Editors note: Wood Mountain Christmas Trees has a F-ing company policy forbidding employees from the F-word, unless provoked. The crew on this trip F-ing tried, we did. Even Randy tried. But,  F-word, it was F-ing hard, Man! However, trying to write an accurate synopsis of our F-ing adventure without using the F-word is an impossible F-ing task, in my F-ing opinion. So, the writer is substituting the word parsnip whenever the descriptive F-word is required for absolute F-ing accuracy. If you don’t like it, talk to the F-ing boss.)

Our crack Wood Mountain Christmas Tree assembly lot management SWAT team could have accomplished the mission (ship 19 semis with fresh trees and other items) in five days. However, Randy Wood, the owner and logistical genius of Wood Mountain, designed this year’s festivities to stretch parsnipping twelve days.

Why, Sir? Have we parsnippin’ unionized, or something?

There were good times and bad. It rained water a lot in the beginning, and it rained grief from the parsnipping truckers, but that is to be expected. Yesterday, our second to last, everything went as slick as grease through a parsnipping goose. We loaded those trucks (which miraculously showed up… and, on time!) like pros. Parsnip yeah! Today, our last here in Oregon, we batted .500, loading one truck in a parsnipping hour and one half. Then, because of a late truck, we had to stand around for 3-1/2 parsnipping hours, playing with ourselves, until we could load the final parsnipping truck and finish this parsnipping gig.

We had a good time up here enjoying each other. I’ve known most of these paranipping losers for several years, but this year’s rookie, Don McCauliffe…he’s one weird parsnip, I’ll tell ya’. Full of stories, jokes, and gas, and pretty much useless to us up here, except that: (a) the guy can parsnippin’ cook; and (b) he uses the parsnip word more than any parsnipping pottymouth we’ve ever parsnipping met. Thanks to Don’s tutelage, James, Kyle and I learned many new uses for the word parsnip. Also, I had the singular misfortune to accidentally see Don McAuliffe in the parsnipping buff. I believe I shall have nightmares for the rest of my parsnippin’ life, with visions of this giant Yeti-type creature, attempting to pull on some tighty-whities (or, were they blue?). I’m still nauseous.

Unfortunately, Randy, the head parsnip of Wood Mtn., has had his parsnippin’ fill of McAuliffe, and we don’t think he’ll be back in parsnipping Oregon next season. (That, and Don doesn’t want to hang out again with us parsnippers. I guess it’s because we’re offended by his colorful language. Well, get parsnipped, you parsnippin’ parsnip!)

Don, Kyle and I  were done with Load 18, the last one, in the early afternoon. We were elated, we were jubilant, and we needed to stay on that high. So, I drove us a few miles up the road (I think it was on, near, past or before Boone’s Ferry Road, because half the roads in Central Oregon have that parsnipping name) to an Oregon state licensed “dispensary”. Yes, it was one of those legal marijuana stores, and, yes, Kyle and I purchased a few items. There, I said it; we sinned…but, legally. Don’t approve? Parsnip you.

We chilled, or tried to, at least. I never was a big marijuana smoker. Did some in college and the military, but it wasn’t a big thing to me. Kyle, on the other hand, is what some people might describe as a “functional stoner”. According to him, he enjoys smoking weed, and has for a long time. (He’s also a guitarist in a rock n’ roll band, so…what do you parsnipping expect?) Kyle claims that he can function quite well (regular job: electrician on multi-story construction projects) even when he’s parsnipped up. I tend to believe him, because, up here in Oregon, the parsnipper always works hard, even when he has toked some weed.

Anyway, Kyle was the expert on selecting some good dope for us. He chose “Obama Kush” and “Blue City Diesel”: the former, about 7 percent THC; and, the latter, approx. 18 percent THC. Obviously, I preferred the latter shit.

To be honest, the Obama blend didn’t do anything to me, except that I got hungry and ate half of a large bag of Honey BBQ Fritos. And, as for the Blue City tokes, they were OK, but I didn’t notice any strong effect. However, it’s taken me about three hours to type these couple of paragraphs. Uh, what were we parsnipping talking about?

Kyle is Randy’s son, and Joe, another member of the Wood Mtn. frat, is Randy’s brother. (Brothers Randy and Joe are old parsnippers; Randy is 73 and Joe is 72, I think) Joe had some family issues to work through on this trip; he was on the phone a lot to his wife and son. I felt bad for him; he wasn’t his normal jovial self. But, Joe and Randy are always fun to listen to, as they recount the many ways that their father used to torment them (and they him!) The two should do stand-up together…they are funny parsnippers! Another thing about Joe: the dude has some big parsnipping feet…those parsnippers are about the size of snowshoes (I swear that I’m not parsnipping with you…they’re really LONG…like waterskis. It would be tough to knock over that parsnipper!)

James, is our youngest team member at 28. (Parsnip, I’ve got socks that old!) He’s been with Randy, doing the Christmas tree thing for the longest time…maybe ten years? That’s a lot of parsnippin’ trees and wreaths, I tell ya’. Anyway, James wussed out after the first batch of shipments this year…running home to Mommy because he wasn’t manly enough to endure the whole parsnipping 12 days like the rest of us bad asses. (And, also, he had to get back to his real job or get fired. Plus, he was horny as parsnip.) Good riddance to James…the sorry parsnipper!

I don’t know what the Good Lord has in mind for Randy, the head poobah of this parsnipping outfit. His wife wants him to “semi-retire”, and he kinda wants to , but…I don’t trust the motherparsnipper. I’ll bet that, twelve months from now, the Wood Mountain crew will be back in Aurora, Oregon, grinding out a few parsnipping dollars for James Randall “I Can’t Help  Myself” Wood. The man is like a drug addict, except that he is a slave to the scent of pine sap in the mornin’.

He is one sad parsnipper. But, we love him.

Will I return to do this again next year? Right now, I would say, “No parsnippin’ way!” It’s going to take me months just to clean the pine sap out of my clothes and wash my mouth out with soap. And, Charlie missed me, too.

However, if Randy’s really desperate next year, and promises re-jigger the event into an efficient, five-day mission, I might just say, “Parsnip it!”

 

 

 

 

 

Person of the Year

A few weeks ago, President Trump made headlines for allegedly turning down Time magazine’s “Person of the Year” honor. It turned out that Time hadn’t made a decision on its annual honoree, and that Mr. Trump had turned down a photo shoot because he was just a nominee. His opinion was that if he wasn’t going to win, then there’d be no photos.

Just about what one would expect from the Narcissist-in-Chief.

This past week, Time announced that the Person of the Year honors would go to “The Silence Breakers”; i.e. the many women who have come forward during the past year to spill the beans on sexual harassment by men in the entertainment industry, in politics, and elsewhere in society. It’s been an avalanche of dirty linen, to the embarrassment and shame of many high and mighty folks.

I am not certain why there was such an explosion of tawdry revelations at this point in time, but I could hazard a two-named guess: Bill Cosby and Donald Trump.

The Cosby case has been in the news a lot over the past 12 months. Over 50 women have come forward to allege that Mr. Jello raped them over the years by slipping them a mickey (i.e. some type of date-rape drug) and having his way with their comatose body.

Cosby has denied every allegation, calling each and every one of the ladies a “liar”. The not-so-funny thing is that the stories by these women, who didn’t know each other, sound very familiar, even though Cosby’s behavior spanned decades. American women are watching this case closely to see if this serial-rapist “walks” on these charges just because he is a famous old man.

Another famous old  man who has a history of behaving badly around women is none other than the current President of the United States. Married man Donald Trump was a well-known skirt-chaser over the decades prior to running for the Presidency and was notorious when running beauty pageants for “accidentally” walking into contestants’ dressing rooms. And, then, helping himself to a free feel.

When some of his more vulgar antics were “outed” during the campaign, Trump tried to shift gears, divert attention, call reporters “liars” and their stories “fake news”, and generally pretend that his morals were above reproach.

 

Even the videotaped interview with Billy Bush for Access Hollywood, wherein Trump brags about his boorish behavior toward women (“grab ’em by the pussy”), etc. was pooh-poohed by the Presidential candidate as “locker room talk”, and, recently, as President, he claimed that it wasn’t even him in the videotape.

Excuse us? Well, in my opinion, Donald Trump’s arrogance about sexual harassment and denial of his documented behavior…brought to vivid attention by the Fall campaign…was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Harassed women everywhere decided that enough’s enough, if the President of the United States can behave this way, and brag about it, then (speaking for them) WE have a big problem.

So, they started dropping dimes.

It’s probably not coincidental that the avalanche of tattle-tailing began in the entertainment industry, because that’s where Cosby and Trump came from; they assumed that their celebrity status gave them the license to act the way they did. So, at first it was actresses complaining about the “casting couch” (i.e. Harvey Weinstein), then came expose’s about actors (Spacey, et al), then TV personalities (O’Reilly, Lauer, etc.), then politicians (Franken, Conyers, and many more), and the list goes on. It’s akin to a giant, ever-expanding whirlpool of cess, and each day the stench of this society-level scandal grows more and more odious.

Like everything else that President Trump is involved in (incessant lying, horrible racist tweets, obvious conflicts of interest), such low-life behavior has become so common that it almost seem normal.

But, it’s not. Just because other famous people have been shown to have treated women unfairly, rudely, and inappropriately, it does not now mean that “everyone does it, so it’s OK”. Trump, Cosby, and the other degenerates would like you to believe that, but…I’m sorry…we all know better than that.

It’s scurrilous, criminal behavior, it needs to be called out, and the American people need to say, “No!”

That’s why these brave women are being celebrated by Time magazine. They brought it to light, while our President tries his damnedest to hide it. They’re great role models; he ain’t.

Over the past several weeks, quite a few nationally-known elected officials have been outed as sexual harassers, perverts, and such. It has come to light, in some cases, that the elected official (Congressmen, in some cases) used taxpayer funds to “hush” the women that they had sexually harassed. Isn’t that nice? And, this practice wasn’t a secret around the Capitol building. So, we can probably anticipate more scandalous revelations in the coming weeks and months. Have a Merry Christmas, America!

Probably the biggest stinker right now is the Senate race in Alabama, where ex-Judge, GOP/Bible Belt poster boy Roy Moore is trying to shake his tawdry past. This is a guy who has been accused by a number of women of sexually harassing, stalking, and inappropriately touching them when they were young teenagers.

At that time, Moore was married and was an Assistant District Attorney. (Yeah, it was his JOB to prosecute child molesters. Go figure.) Allegedly, a number of teens complained about his behavior at the time, and the pervert was banned from the local mall to protect the young girls.

 

 

 

Of course, Senate candidate Moore has flat-out denied all of this, but some of the girls have birthday cards and high school annuals signed by Roy Moore, so…what do you think?

Ironically, ex-Judge Roy Moore is the darling of the Southern Baptist world because he is such an avowed Christian that he was twice removed from his seat on the Alabama Supreme Court for his inability to separate Church and State (i.e. a simple Constitutional principle). I guess his reading of the Bible on this matter, and Southern Baptists’ understanding, supports adult public officials trying to get into little girls’ panties.

 

 

The galling thing about this whole sordid scandal, which would have scuttled most would-be Senatorial campaigns, is that President Trump and many male Republican  members of Congress continue to support the scumbag’s election.

Takes one to know one, right?

What does that tell you about the issue of sexual harassment in this Country? It’s a big problem…because those elected politicians don’t feel that their supporters will punish them for their behavior.

And, if the 2016 election is any indicator, their base supporters will give them a free pass on this…like it is an unimportant problem. Ex-Judge, serial pervert Roy Moore will be easily elected, I’m sure. We’re talking about Alabama, after all.

Just when you think that the Republican Party can sink no further, they pull this turd out of the toilet. Shame on them.

 

I’m Getting Old

Yeah, I’m a fossil. I’ll be 70 years old this week. Everything to this point was “the good old days”.

I know that I’m an old fuddy-duddy when I haven’t been to the movies in God knows how long because… everything that Hollywood has been putting out for the past several years has been shit. At least, that’s how I feel.

Our Wood Mountain crew is in-between shipments right now, so we went to the local cinema today to see a movie called “Thor: Ragnarok”. No one really wanted to see it; we’re all old farts. But, our option was enduring a cartoon movie called “Coco”.

Of course, we had to sit through about a half-dozen movie previews…which all sucked. Five of them were sci-fi action flicks, and the other one was about some SEAL team riding horses against the Taliban in Afghanistan to avenge 9/11. (Supposedly a true story. No wonder we can’t defeat those pesky towelheads.)

Probably a half-million human beings died during those six movie previess; I haven’t seen such gore since young Arnold Schwartzeneggar used to kick ass.

Anyway, “Thor: Ragnarok” was another of the Marvel  Comics super-hero movies that have flooded the marketplace in recent years. “Seen one, seen them all” is my opinion. It seems like there has not been an original thought in Hollywood for thirty years. They’re still making Star Wars flicks (it was one of the previews); can you believe that?! With Carrie Fisher! What…have they run out of young actresses?

To be honest, I have a beef with any sci-fi movie, particularly in the superhero genre, where the antagonists are using swords. C’mon, Mr. Director, you mean to tell me that in the year 2080 bad guys and good guys will still be duking it out with medieval swords? Really? Why? Have they forgotten how to use guns, laser beams, tasers or fucking hand grenades? Jeezus…use some friggin’ imagination, you lazy script writers!

The state of the movie business is really getting bad when Cate Blanchett has to do a crappy sci-fi/comic book farce like “Thor:Ragnorok”. Yep, she was the villainess, a super-hero herself, with all sorts of exotic fighting skills and a skintight costume supplemented by a push-up bra stuffed with lots of tissue. She actually looked quite fetching, for Cate Blanchett, who last gave a man a boner about…well, probably never. But, I digress.

Speaking of out-of-character acting… yesterday, when we were bored stiff, a couple of us guys watched a Netflix movie called “Bad Ass”. In this movie, character actor Danny Trejo, the scarfaced Mexican gang banger/ex-felon, greasy long-haired fellow with tattoos all over him (i.e. the typecast maniacal, bloodthirsty killer in “Dawn of the Dead”, “Con Air”, “The Replacement Killers”, and fifty other B-movies) was…Mr. Nice Guy! He helped old ladies, treated children with tenderness, helped the police in the barrio, and, when he wasn’t spreading love around the community…kicked the ass of all the criminal element in the city. And, then, Bad Ass turned Nice Guy, who is one ugly old man, hooks up with a 20-something, knockout babe. I was getting nauseous just thinking about the two of them in the sack, but, thankfully, the director didn’t insult the viewer with such a farce. It was really a bad movie, but, to its credit…not one medieval sword! Honest. So, I give that director/screenwriter (note: it was probably Danny Trejo, who had to have funded the shitty, straight to video movie with his own money…how else could someone that hideous end up with the sexy babe?) some credit for originality. Although, to be honest, it was stretching credulity when Mr. Nice Guy was bitch-slapping and man-handling gangbangers armed with knives and guns. C’mon…Danny Trejo is about 60 years old and isn’t exactly cat-like. Oh, well, it was a fictional story; we’re supposed to suspend disbelief.

Which, of course, brings up the subject of Messrs. Schwartzeneggar, Stallone, and Seagal…how can those old relics still be making action movies? Who is believing that stuff? They were barely believable when they were young, manly studs. Now? Those flabby, creaky-jointed MOFO-wannabes couldn’t clear a room of paraplegics, let alone a murderous biker gang or enemy special forces squad. Danny Trejo would kick their asses. Yet, this trio of has-beens is still making movies. No wonder no one goes to the theater anymore.

It’s no surprise that there’s nothing left to see at the movies; everything there is either sci-fi nonsense, recycled action flicks, or animated movies made for children. The good stuff, nowadays, seems to be on cable TV: the quality dramas; the funniest comedies; the best-produced documentaries; etc. The movie theaters, which used to lord it over the “small screen” industry, now gets hind tit.

Luckily, I didn’t have to pay $12 today to see “Thor: Ragnarok”; Wood Mountain took care of that, and it got screwed. (The company also paid about $50 for $5 worth of goodies at the snack stand. What a ripoff!)

We would have been better off to sit in our living room and watch just about any Netflix offering, old or new, for…free…while enjoying munchies from our own refrigerator.

And, if the cable movie turned out to be a shitburger like “Bad Ass”, well, it was free!