Charlie and I recently watched a “20-20” episode about a woman who shot her sleeping husband to death and later blamed her behavior on the domestic violence that she had been enduring in the marriage.
Feminists and domestic violence activists raged when a jury convicted the lady of 2nd degree murder, feeling that she should not have been given jail time.
Girlfriends of the lady testified that they were aware of the victim’s abuse (from things that they had been told by the wife), and had seen bruises on her skin. There were also allegations (after the murder) that the abusive husband had also filmed the two having sex and had put the video on internet porn sites.
All of this may or may not have been true. However, the supposedly abused wife had never formally complained to police about the alleged terror in her home. In fact, she opted not to sign a complaint that would have exposed her husband to arrest and charges. Nor did she leave the home or file for divorce.
Her solution was to shoot her sleeping husband in the head while he slept.
Charlie and I got into a debate about what should be the proper adjudication of this matter. My wife, who suffered from domestic violence in her earlier 8-year marriage, felt like the woman should be exonerated of all charges, even though she had not availed herself of available remedies while her husband was still alive.
(Interestingly, my wife resorted to some street justice on her ex-husband one time. She told me years ago that, after a physical beating by her asshole husband, and while he was passed out in a drunken stupor, she had conked him in the head with a big frying pan. He survived but never knew what hit him.)
My feeling was that cold-blooded murder had taken place in this recent tragedy (the alleged lout wasn’t attacking her… he was asleep on a sofa) when she could have just walked out the door of the residence or called the police. Instead, she appointed herself judge, jury, and executioner… when the criminal penalty for verbal harassment, physical assault, and surreptitiously filming marital sex (even if proven, which it was not) is a very modest stint in prison.
The guy may have been a scumbag (which was not proven) or his wife may have exaggerated her problems to cover an assault stemming from her rage. The husband’s execution denied the criminal justice system the opportunity to sort out the fact from fiction… which could have been the wife’s intent.
I sympathize with women who suffer from domestic violence, but it is a slippery slope when spouses can self-deputize themselves and dispense “street justice” like this. Domestic violence is not a capital offense in any state of the Union.
Frustration with our criminal justice system does not excuse vigilante behavior, particularly in this case, where legal recourses were not even pursued. If we allow a wife to execute a husband for alleged domestic violence, should husbands be allowed to do the same for a poor.ly-prepared meal, a sloppy house, or marital infidelity? How about credit card spending binges? (Maybe this husband was pissed off about all of those things and regularly yelled at and struck his wife in frustration? Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?)
Society has instituted a remedy for a bad marriage: it’s called a divorce.
The perpetrator of the evil deed in this story was found guilty of second degree murder and sentenced to 19 years in prison. The big hoopla by domestic violence activists surrounding the adjudication exerted immense political pressure on the State of New York. Accordingly, at the appellate court level, the murderer’s sentence was reduced to 7 years. The wife will be eligible for parole in a few years, although she will still carry the stigma of a convicted murderer.
We live in a society where lots of people feel aggrieved by rules, laws, government policies, and the actions of people who “are unlike us”. Unfortunately, that has given rise to violence that is escalating in its magnitude, pissed off folks who simply lash out with fury against their perceived enemies. The 2021 Capitol Riot by Trump supporters is an example.
Murder as a solution to problems is becoming socially acceptable, as we read news reports each day about mass shootings, bombing of abortion clinics, and policemen who beat or shoot to death Black motorists who fail to cooperate with their commands.
This kind of behavior reminds me of lynch mobs back in the day. Anger, sometimes ill-founded, led to “stringing up” a suspect, sometimes not even the right guy, for a perceived crime. It was a “feel good” moment for the town and the vigilantes, even though the Constitution of the United States was trampled in the process. At the Capitol Riot, there were shouts in the mob to “string up Mike Pence”. Luckily, the enraged vigilantes couldn’t locate the Vice President of the United States.
How is it that murder has become the punishment of first resort?
The guy who was shot to death while sleeping on his sofa was a gymnastic coach to young kids, was well thought-of in his community, and was never known to abuse anyone… until after his murder, when his wife and her girlfriends came up with their horror stories. However, even if the guy had a secret life of abusive behavior, didn’t he deserve the right to defend himself in a court of law? Maybe some jail time and psychiatric therapy would have straightened out his life?
He was denied that opportunity.
Now, his young children have no father and (temporarily) no mother, his parents and siblings are without him, his reputation is forever stained, and his wife is a convicted murderer who will carry that burden for the rest of her life.
All that was required for this never to have happened was for the wife to call the cops or simply take the kids and walk out the door while her husband was taking a nap.
Instead of bothering with that, she simply pulled a trigger.