Someone in California just won the Powerball lotto drawing worth an estimated $2 billion
Sure, the winner is not going to get to keep all that money, but I’m guessing that there might be a $500 million payday if the lucky S.O.B. takes the money up front instead of installments over twenty years. The I.R.S. and the State of California will vacuum up the rest of the loot, compensation for all their contributions to the achievement.
The newly-minted half-billionaire will now have to contend with every grifter, greedy attorney, slimy financial advisor, previous spouse, newly-discovered biological offspring, Ponzi-scammer, aggressive charity, and Russian cybercriminal out there. The winner can expect Donald Trump to ask for a hunk of money to fight the Stolen Election of 2020 and pay for the thousand attorneys that he currently has working to keep him out of prison.
Everyone on earth will have their hands out with get-rich-quick schemes and sob stories: it will be a circus.
I’m sure Mr. Powerball has already gone into hiding and will make every effort possible to hide his identity. I suggest moving off-grid to Siberia where there is no cell phone service, no Internet, no Phfishers and, most importantly, no lawyers. Or the guy could buy his own island someplace surrounded by shark-infested waters. Still, someone is going to drop a dime on lucky/unlucky dude and spoil his delusions of peace and quiet. It’s gonna happen, mark my words.
Hopefully, our California hero is not married. If he is, half of that dough belongs to his wife. If the union was not rock solid before the lotto drawing, Mr. Powerball can kiss $250 million bye-bye. Think of all the losers and shysters who will be trying to get into his wife’s pants and purse! Whew.
If I had been the big winner, I wouldn’t have that particular problem, as I’ve been married to a great gal for almost fifty years. Consequently, I already consider myself a winner and a good guy… although I could be an even nicer guy with a wallet bulging with $,1000 bills. Wouldn’t it be cool to enjoy a $20 lunch and then tip the waitress a grand?
To be honest, it would be hard deciding how to spend that half a billion dollars. Of course, some of that money would have to go toward new homes for our four grown boys and their families and possibly set up trusts for them and their progeny. I’d feel good about that, leaving a legacy of sorts for loved ones. Let’s say I put $100 million toward this task. Still, that leaves about $400 million unaccounted for. Where should this filthy lucre go?
It would be a tough task deciding how to cut the pie in a responsible manner.
I imagine that I would want to give a healthy portion of the proceeds to some responsible charities. The Red Cross comes to mind, as do animal rescue organizations. I would like to help struggling military veterans and battered wives, too. Maybe I put $100 million in this “charity” pot.
Now I’m down to $300 million. What to do?
I recently saw a news report that some Russian oligarch’s yacht was “on sale” for $300 million. I wonder if he would take $200 million… because I’d have to save some money for the crew, booze and diesel fuel.
I could also send a $50 million check to televangelist Peter Popoff, as God has told him that he needs a new Gulfstream G650. Whose gonna argue with God?
Speaking of crooks, I could own a couple of Senators for maybe $50 million each, like the Senators and Congressmen who are on the Koch brothers’ payroll making sure that Global Warming is a dirty word in Washington D.C.
On the other hand, my “posse” in Mesquite, Nevada deserves some love. Perhaps I can fund some dental work to give them more street cred?
Seriously, the remaining big hunk of dough should go to some purpose that benefits humanity.
Here’s an idea: Offer up the $300 million (and hopefully shame other super-rich humanitarians into throwing some of their wealth into the pot) for a gun buy-back program in America. We have the right to bear arms, and I agree with that, but there are too many of them easily accessible to nut-jobs, gang members, mentally-unstable teens, and children in their own homes where irresponsible adults have not secured their weapons. Too many guns equal too much gun violence being done to wives, relatives, and innocent school children. I think any step which reduces the number of guns in our country is a step in the right direction.
Alternatively, I could spend the $300 million helping disaster victims reclaim their lives. Ex-President Jimmy Carter and actor Brad Pitt have devoted time and money to this important task. There are also places in our country where the working poor are drinking contaminated water and living in filth while their children are going hungry. Certainly, the Greatest Nation on Earth can do better than this. Maybe I could help?
How about offering to pay the college tuition of worthy but poor high school grads? That would be a gift that keeps on giving, for sure. I saw a program on TV awhile back where a Black entrepreneur did this very thing; in fact, he promised every graduating senior in a predominately Black high school to pay for their college and the results were heart-warming. I’d like to do some of that, for sure.
Maybe I put up $99 million for each of the three causes (Gun Buy-Back, Community Disaster Relief, and College Tuition).
And, of course, the remaining $3 million I would save for purchasing more Powerball tickets.
Then I could sleep well at night.