My wife Charlie, who is 76 years old, recently discovered who her biological father was. The truth of the matter was hidden from her by her Mom and Dad for fifty years and the deception was assisted by others in the family… all of them probably rationalizing that lying was okay in this instance because it was for a “noble purpose”.
These were all devout Catholics who profess a belief in the Bible. I don’t know for sure, but perhaps they weren’t paying attention during the homily about Exodus 20:2-17 : “Thou shall not bear false witness”. (Okay, they could have been napping in their pews.) No matter, they could always fall back on God’s permission to do some “white lying” which is found in Biblical passage… there isn’t one!
One good thing about the Catholic faith is that a believer can “confess” to lying, receive forgiveness from their priest, and then continue to lie until next week’s confession. But, for fifty years, lying to your daughter?
Lies are lies. Lying begets more lying, then there are the cover-ups, which require more lying, etc. “Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive.”
Think about “Santa Claus”.
Parents lie to their children about Old Saint Nick and about how he brings toys to good kids. So, maybe your brother wasn’t a good kid but, gee, he got presents, too! And, then the youngster notices that his presents were made in China, not the North Pole. And, then Daddy is noticed in the middle of the night putting “Santa’s” gifts under the tree. And, then the child is taken to Macy’s to “meet” Santa, who is obviously a guy in a fat suit with bad breath and a smelly fake beard. The good kid asks “Santa” for a particular toy and, on Christmas morning, he gets something else.
What is being taught here? That parents lie.
Going back to the story about my wife Charlie’s parentage, it was obvious to her (and her friends) as she was growing up that her parents were lying to her: she didn’t look anything like them or her five siblings. Is it not surprising, then, that her Mom and Dad had problems with her as an adolescent? She rebelled because they didn’t respect her enough to be honest with her.
I’ve been around the block a few times so I’ve noticed that: (a) lies have a way of being exposed; (b) people do not like being lied to; and (3) people do not trust liars. Most teens and grown adults are capable of hearing the unvarnished truth and dealing with it. Children are not as dumb as parents think they are, they have feelings, and they don’t forget “unfair” things done to them.
I had a religious period in my life where I absorbed a key tidbit of wisdom which was not dissimilar to that passed down by my parents: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I know enough about the Bible to recognize that, apart from all the fables contained therein, this Golden Rule encapsulates all the moral teaching in the rest of the Good Book. I don’t like lying and I try not to practice it myself.
Lying is definitely a slippery slope; once one gets comfortable lying, it becomes a habit. And then, it might seem okay to do it, again and again.
Wouldn’t it be horrible to have a job where you were required to lie to customers for a living? How would you sleep at night?
Salesmen must be soulless individuals. These adults are required to lie, exaggerate, embellish, distract, and fool customers to earn a dollar. They must sell folks “something that they don’t need for more than it’s worth”. And then, feel good about themselves for being so devious and clever. Sales is a very competitive, dog-eat-dog business where only the most ruthless liars achieve success. I’ve known many salespeople; to me, they exude an oily feeling.
Of course, “men of the cloth” are unabashed salesmen, too. Their lying involves knowing things that are unknowable, promises of forgiveness for bad deeds, and heavenly rewards for true believers. In order to impress their customers, some claim that God personally confides things to them.
Televangelist Pat Robertson, a Biblical salesman who likes attention, claimed this week that Russia’s attack on Ukraine was “compelled by God” and signals Armageddon, the “end of times”. Not to quibble, but Reverend Robertson has claimed, on many prior occasions in the past 40 years, that God told him the “end” was upon us all because of legalized abortion, homosexuality, and the practice of non-Christian religions. The end never came. Conclusion: Either the Rev. Pat is a liar or, excuse my blasphemy, God is.
Politicians are, by nature, professional liars. They sell themselves to the voters as knowledgeable, honest, and forthright and, once elected, line their pockets and spend the rest of their time lying about opponents and what they’re actually doing in office (which is mostly mischief). Politicians are expected to lie by their constituents and are encouraged to lie by Party officials… to gain advantage over the opposing Party’s liars. “May the best liar win!” seems to be the Politician’s Creed. Is it any wonder why most citizens don’t trust their government?
Lying has become the National Pastime in America, easily replacing baseball and football.
Everyone seems to have jumped on the “bearing false witness” bandwagon in recent years. It is probably a by-product of the Digital Age, which enables professional liars, attention-seeking podcasters, gossipers, pedophiles, scam artists, racists, scare-mongers, politicians and conspiracy theory loonies to disseminate “fake news” (i.e. lies) instantaneously to jillions of people throughout the World.
It’s a quick way to get attention and it’s fun (to many people). Some kids torment their classmates in social media with scandalous lies, disseminated to everyone at school. Often, these liars are congratulated by their peers for their nastiness.
Con men are consummate liars. Pretty much everything they say or do is a lie, positioning themselves to loot large amounts of money from gullible people. Lying, to these individuals, is as natural as eating and sleeping, and often con men lie when telling the truth would serve them better. They can’t help themselves: it’s a pathology wired into their being. A recent ex-President would be a good example.
Con men can be women, too.
We recently watched an NBC news feature about Elizabeth Holmes, the founder of Theranos, a biotech firm. She’s a smart, good-looking gal who had a burning desire to be a Steve Jobs or Bill Gates from a young age. Her vision, to do all manner of blood testing from one drop of blood, was deemed to be impossible by actual scientists. Not to be deterred, the impatient 19-year-old girl dropped out of college, charmed her way into the pocketbooks of some rich folks, and established a company to design and build her “magic box” that could process the pinprick of blood. Despite all the ballyhoo that she generated, and the $800 million that she raised from sucker investors, Theranos had zero success in building the innovative technology that she promised. Additional lying, exaggerating, and deception ensued, orchestrated by Ms. Holmes. Eventually, the con was exposed, Theranos went under, investors lost every penny, and Elizabeth Holmes was found guilty of fraud. She was Bernie Madoff in a dress: a heartless con artist. Holmes will now receive a slap on the wrist and move on to her next con.
When one reaches for his wallet, he should ponder the old adage: “If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.” Liars and cheats are everywhere.
A recent phenomena that I’ve observed is a special section in the online Washington Post newspaper called “Fact Check”, where intentional misinformation (lying) is called out and the lies vs. facts are compared… for those who give a damn.
We didn’t need this back in the day… when bald-faced lying was not in style. Personal honor meant something when I was growing up. Your word was your bond, “you can take that to the bank”, etc.
As I said before, in today’s society, there seems to be no stigma attached to lying: everyone seems to believe that everyone else is lying, so they take liberties, as well. Accomplished liars, like Donald Trump, are respected and rewarded with business opportunities and high public office.
It has now come to the point where people are being punished for telling the truth.
One example is the so-called “stolen election of 2020”. There has been no proof offered by complainants that any significant fraud occurred in that election. However, bad loser Trump continues to push the fable as do quite a few Republican Party sycophants (who got reelected in the same “fraudulent” election!). Responsible G.O.P. elected officials who have called the ex-President on his lying have been punished by the Party (example: Senator Liz Cheney in Wyoming). Trump’s Super PAC, which has oodles of money for upcoming campaigns, is supporting opposing Republican candidates in primary elections… to unseat Republican Party officeholders who won’t back Trump’s Big Lie about his 2020 election loss.
Over in Russia, citizens who use social media and mention the word “invasion” in talking about Vladimir Putin’s unprovoked war against the sovereign nation of Ukraine… are now subject to imprisonment for up to 15 years for honestly calling a spade a spade.
George Orwell, back in 1949, predicted that it would come to this in his novel “1984”.
The dystopian world that Orwell envisioned has arrived, and it’s not pretty.