Charlie and I are going to watch the Oscars telecast today, primarily so that my wife can see what the celebrities are wearing.
Hollywood’s annual orgy of self-congratulation used to be a big deal, back “in the day”. Nowadays, there are seemingly a multitude of these award shows which serve to hype the movies themselves, the “stars”, and the clothing and accessory industry. The Oscars event itself has devolved into just another iteration of televised festivities that have been going on worldwide for months: the SAG awards; the People’s Choice awards; the Director’s Guild awards; the Canne Film Festival; the Golden Globes; etc.
This is one industry that like to lavish praise on itself, for sure.
I got started watching the Oscars back in the late 1950’s, as I recall. My Mom would watch them while my Dad worked on his L.A. Times crossword puzzle and later, as the show went on and on, he might read a book. The telecast was in black and white back then.
“Going to the movies” was big back in those days, because there weren’t a lot of entertainment options like there are today. Radio, television (only the Big Three networks), and vinyl disc records were the competition. As a family, we went to the movies (usually a drive-in) periodically, usually to see some “cast of thousands” Biblical epic, like “The Ten Commandments” or “Ben Hur”. My brother Terry and I used to go to matinees at local walk-in theatres to see war movies, scary stuff like “The Blob”, “The Fly”, “The Thing”, “Godzilla”, and sci-fi features like “Forbidden Planet” and “The Day the Earth Stood Still”. It was amazing that we saw much of the features themselves, as we (and our buddies) spent most of the time in the theatre running up and down the aisles acting like the pre-teen idiots we were.
I’m now in my seventh decade of watching the annual Oscars telecast, and a lot has changed over the years. Of course, Bob Hope and Billy Crystal don’t do the emceeing anymore, which is a shame, as they were the best. The “stars” sitting in the audience have become unfamiliar to Charlie and I, as we don’t go to the theatres anymore and don’t watch many of the big movies when they are released to the small screen, as they are mostly sci-fi, Marvel comic flicks, or animated stuff for kids.
I believe the last movie that we watched in a theater was “A Star is Born” with Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga, which premiered three years ago. Before that, we saw ”LaLa Land” in 2016. That makes two movies in the past five years: the industry isn’t making much money off of us!
I miss the “good old days” when real movie stars populated the Oscars audience. Nowadays, there might be a dozen familiar faces in the first couple of rows, but the rest of the crowd is made up of lightweights, technicians, and seat holders. By the time that the Oscars rolls around, a dozen other awards shows have already occurred, it’s pretty clear who’s going to win, and the also-rans don’t bother to appear. Or at least it seems that way.
All of the awards shows seem to be promoting fashion as much as the movies themselves. Accompanying the awards show broadcasts themselves are the “red carpet” pre-event showcases, in which celebrities (most of whom are inconsequential actors and actresses) show off the latest fashions, like couture gowns, pricey jewelry, and flamboyant hairdos and makeup. There are even pre-/pre-event shows, in which industry gossip experts hype the expected attendees and honorees, critique past award show fashions, and spend a couple of hours making smarmy comments and trying to act relevant. Today, the pre-/pre-event shows start at 1 p.m., then the pre-event red carpet stuff begins at 3 p.m., then there will be a final “arrivals” recap at 4:30 p.m, and the actual Oscars broadcast will start at 5 p.m.
Although the show is scheduled for 3 hours of pomposity, it almost always runs late, as award winners typically take more than their allotted time to humbly thank everyone they’ve ever known for “making this award possible”.
Every once in a while, something cool will happen at the Oscars, like the guy who “streaked” across the stage when actor David Niven was presenting. More often than not, the unscripted surprise will involve someone making a political comment from the dais…which is usually received like a fart in church. A couple of years ago, one of the presenters (an old actor or actress) announced the wrong winner of “Best Picture”, the highest award of the night. Oh, Boy, that was a mess!
Other than those highlights, the 3-hour show is usually fairly boring save the monologues by the emcees…when they are actually comedians like Bob Hope, Billy Crystal, Johnny Carson, and such. One of the worst emcees was David Letterman, a comedian who tried too hard to be funny.
It is amazing how many Oscars are awarded, of which (thankfully) only a small number are presented during the 3-hour broadcast. Many more are handed off to worthy industry professionals in another ceremony during Oscar week. Thank goodness for that.
(If you’ve ever watched the “credits” scroll through the screen after a motion picture, you’ll be aware that lots of folks are involved. I would think that being recognized in the credits would be reward enough (in addition to the pay received for work provided) for the professionals involved. For example, grips (guys who build and maintain equipment related to cameras), key grips (supervisors of grips), gaffers (lighting technicians), and best boys (assistants to gaffers and grips) all get credits for routine efforts on a movie.
Do these folks, and the food service people, and the wardrobe staff, and the “extras” who mill around a scene without uttering a line, really need to be publicly noticed for going to work each day? In comparison, when a customer buys an Apple I-Phone, he not only doesn’t get an itemized list of all the folks who worked to produce the miracle invention, but the product doesn’t even come with instructions to show how to operate it!
I digress, but thank God that the blue-collar working stiffs in movie studios don’t get Oscars for their efforts, or the awards broadcast would run all week.)
Anyway, I will soldier through tonight’s show with Charlie. Hopefully, someone will “streak”, there will be a wardrobe malfunction, or something else interesting will liven up the festivities.
UPDATE:
Wow, that was a different Oscars experience!
The awards show was held at Los Angeles’ Union Station (transportation terminal) instead of the Dolby Theater in Hollywood. There were no bleachers full of adoring fans watching the celebrities arrive in Rolls Royces. There weren’t a lot of celebrities, either. The hours-long “red carpet” photo and interview spectacle was severely muted. The big stars that attended didn’t even walk the red carpet; I think they slipped in a side door.
This was the Pandemic Oscars, for sure. Everything was scaled back, attendance was limited, social distancing was evident, there was no live orchestra, zero dance productions (thank you, Jesus!), and the whole thing was more…professional and personal. The television audience was allowed to learn a bit more about the nominees, which was nice.
The event was purposely somber. The films nominated for honors this year were more introspective, serious movies…probably a product of the times. There was no comedian emcee/host cracking jokes and setting everyone at ease: 2020 had not been a funny year, in any sense. Presenters were matter of fact and informative, although a couple snuck in some political messaging.
The acceptance speeches were boring, as usual. One fellow, who won for Best Cinematography, embarrassed himself for saying “Um” probably 30 times in a sixty second span.; I’m guessing that the so-called “professional” cameraman hadn’t prepared an acceptance speech of any kind. He will never live this night down.
Tyler Petty was honored with the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, and he gave a very inspiring speech. That guy is a national treasure; let’s get him to run for President.
Obviously, no one “went to the movies” this past year, as the movie theater chains were closed down due to Covid-19. Everything that was up for honors this year involved films that were distributed by Netflix or streamed directly to customers. Who knows how much “box office” revenue was generated by these esteemed films? How the entertainment industry is surviving is a mystery to me.
The big winner on the night was “Nomadland”, a story about a woman (played by Best Actress winner Frances McDormand) whose world is overturned by the Great Recession and adopts a transient lifestyle, wandering through the backwaters of America in an RV van, looking for work.
The Best Actor award went to Anthony Hopkins who didn’t bother to attend the subdued festivities.
Needless to say, the biggest losers of the affair were the fashion and jewelry industries, who had very little opportunity to festoon Hollywood movie stars and wannabe celebrities, as most of them stayed home in Covid-19 lockdown.
The whole affair seemed un-Hollywood like: Louis B. Mayer is probably turning over in his grave.