Charlie’s gone.
We miss her!
One of the good things about Ocean Mesa RV Park in Goleta, California is that it is only a $57 Amtrak ride down to Oceanside, which, in turn, is very near to our home in Bear Creek.
Yesterday, Charlie took the morning train south. The dogs and I bid her goodbye at 9:24 a.m. in Santa Barbara, about a 20-minute drive down Hwy 101. My wife has an ultrasound procedure tomorrow in Murrieta.
The 200-mile trip is a good excuse to check out our house, see her good friends Karin Pace and the Bosanko’s (Jeannette and Ivor), get a pedicure, do some shopping, and generally enjoy some “girl time”. She deserves some, for sure, having been cooped up with a guy and three dogs for 3-1/2 months.
My wife and I are both in our Seventies, and, as with most older couples, we get cranky with each other from time to time, bicker about stupid little things, and say hurtful things when we’re tired, frustrated, and pissed off. We enjoy our RV, but, even though it is a very nice and spacious one, existing for months at a time with little elbow room and mental “space” takes its toll.
So, I’m glad that Charlie has this opportunity to let her hair down with old friends and decompress a bit. She needs to laugh and smile more.
It’s been a stressful year, what with our home for sale, our son Jonathan trying to absorb Charlie’s bookkeeping business, plus the knowledge that we are going to be permanently moving from the Bear Creek gated community, where we have lived for the past 30 years.
In addition, we’re having a new home built in Nevada, and that project comes with a lot of decisions, second-guessing, budget concerns, and such. We are both very anxious to move into our new home and tweak it with art, furniture, and landscaping enhancements: lots of decisions ahead!
So, we’ve probably argued and bickered more this year than in the past. To be honest, I dread the afternoons, when my wife has a drink or two to decompress from the day (usually she’s been on the phone or computer tutoring Jonathan or tending to some client matter that Jonathan isn’t ready for). While she relaxes and the alcohol takes effect, a predictable stream of nitpicking ensues on very minor stuff that is going on in our lives. Most of it stems from the desire by Charlie, who is a very verbal person, to just talk to someone.
My wife talks out loud on the phone, while she texts (via Siri), and while she watches TV and simultaneously shops on Amazon Prime. She also talks to the dogs, and to herself. And, to me. She’s quite chatty.
I am more cerebral than verbal, and I honestly get annoyed by talking just to talk. If you ask me a “Yes” or “No” question, you’ll get a one word answer. With Charlie, the response might go on for a paragraph, meandering off-topic, and including queries about your family, your health, etc. It’s just who she is, and God Bless her for that.
When we were both working all day, and had other people to talk to, and were socializing in Bear Creek, Charlie’s need to chat was not as apparent to me. Now, I am her only in-person audience, so it has become my station in life to become as best a listener as I can. And, to make matters worse, my hearing is not what it used to be. So, sometimes Charlie will start talking (to me!) and I’m not aware that her conversation is directed to me. This pisses her off.
But, my wife loves me, and I love her totally, so it’s just a part of the getting older process, coupled with living cooped-up in an RV with three dogs. Her occasional sniping at me is subconscious and not malicious, I’m sure, and she usually forgets what the dust-up was about by the next day.
A hug and a kiss is all it takes to smooth things out. As we get older, we need to do more of those things.
We’ve been together now for about 45 years, and we rarely argue about anything important. Even though we are two completely different human beings, we must share some common attributes that make us “click” together, because, at the end of the day, we still love each other.
I can honestly say that, on the rare occasions that we are apart, I miss her terribly, despite the fact that I am surrounded by my three other closest friends: Booger, JayJay, and Baby.
There is a distinct VOID in my life when Charlie isn’t in it.