Month: June 2022

I’m old, I can’t deny it. Got the arthritis, crepey skin, and lots of hair growing out of my ears and nose.

Been there, done that, seen it all, heard plenty, said too much, etc. I’m an old fuddy-duddy, not quite a curmudgeon, but not far from a permanent sour puss. I get annoyed and almost cranky on occasion. New-fangled stuff and same-old-same-old crap equally drive me batty.

The X, Y, and Z Generations dismiss me as out-of-touch:  I don’t even engage in social media or own any bitcoins, and I can hardly figure out how to use my cell phone. Thomas Edison probably felt irrelevant like this when he was 90 years old or so; Elon Musk will in another 40 years.

In my advanced state of decrepitness and confusion, I ponder the events of the day, trying to make sense of it all.

Charlie and I watch a lot of crime dramas on TV. Probably too many, as we can predict the plot lines and identify the bad guy before the detectives do. If the camera pauses a split second too long on a nondescript item or some guy in the background, you can bet that it or him is key to the case. Does the same guy write the scripts for all of the police procedural dramas?

We’re old enough to have watched every dadgum police drama since Dragnet. There have been hundreds of these cop shows since the mid-Fifties. I think NYPD Blue was the best on network television, followed by Law and Order: lots of interesting cases and many excellent actors. On streaming Amazon Prime we really liked the grittiness of Bosch. Worst: probably CSI:Miami starring ham actor David Caruso, who struck dramatic poses before declaring the obvious, although Jack Lord in Hawaii Five-O was pretty pompous while telling his sidekick to “Book ‘em!”. The Most Unrealistic Detective Emmy goes to Lennie Briscoe (Law and Order), who quipped one-liner jokes incessantly and acted as if he cared more about missing lunch than solving crimes. Most Pro-Police Political Propaganda: Blue Bloods, which bent over backward to excuse bad behavior by copsand always ratcheted up the NYPD effort when an officer or his family fell victim to violence. (We love our police, bless them for protecting us, but should the law enforcement community try harder for justice for one of their own than they do for the average citizen victim? Doesn’t seem right to me, and cop shows where this phenomenon is glorified probably don’t go over very well in minority communities, where equal justice under the law is unknown.)

The recent array of F.B.I. dramas remind me of the C.S.I. and Law and Order spinoffs where they simply re-use old script ideas with different actors and make the cops the targets of the bad guys (which is rare in real life). A few things about the F.B.I. series annoy me: (1) How rapidly a photo of a dude in a crowd can be positively identified by some nerd sitting at an F.B.I.  computer in New York: maybe five seconds, tops; (2) Similar with cell phone tracking, vehicle tracking, DNA testing and bullet slug testing, etc.; (3) The same F.B.I. Special Agents get involved in shootouts every week, while the vast majority of real F.B.I. agents are lawyers and accountants and only fire their service Glocks at the practice range; and, (4) Practically every episode features one or two foot chases after perps (with the slender, female Black special agent usually coldcocking the bad guy in the end): in real life, probably one F.B.I. agent out of 100 has ever chased anything while on duty except a vendor pushing a hot dog cart.

C’mon, scriptwriters, you can do better!

Charlie and I have become addicted to “design/remodeling” shows on HGTV, DIY, Discovery Plus, and other networks. They are purportedly reality-based episodes, but it’s obvious that they are totally scripted and the real homeowners are acting, to some extent. The cost of the repairs/remodel seem low, as well: someone is adding a little sugar to make these efforts seem more affordable. That’s okay, because we watch the episodes for the design and style ideas, some of which we’ve incorporated into our homes over the years. I have a great appreciation for people that have the artistic gene: they seem to see beauty and possibilities in things that normal people don’t and can visually turn lemons into lemonade. I often wish that I had been blessed with the creative gene but, alas, I can’t watercolor by the numbers.

Two things that I do know after watching so many home redesign and remodeling shows is that interior design is an art which can really make a room special and that most of the top interior design experts are women and gay men. The same goes for clothing design (trust me, we’ve watched every season of Project Runway, God Help Us.)

I thought of something today along this line that may be stretching a point but it’s an interesting analogy.

When Christianity became the state religion in Europe, Jews were persecuted. One of the ways was to not let them be involved in regular professions but, rather, make them get involved in things like moneylending, which the pious Christians of the day considered to be beneath their dignity (recall Jesus’ rant at the moneylenders in the Temple). Because of this forced profession, over time, the Jews became the de-facto bankers of Europe and ironically gained immense wealth and power. Now many Christians hold this outcome against the Jews because they have become such good financial wizards. The Rothschild family is a familiar target of right-wing Jew hating doofuses: racism and religious persecution made them perhaps the richest family in the world.

Interior design and clothing design are not considered masculine professions like law enforcement, fire safety, construction, professional sports, plumbing, lumberjacking, cowboying, and so forth. Employers in those fields are looking for ex-high school jocks. Where does a bright, young homosexual man look for a profession? Probably a field where masculinity is not valued, and one doesn’t need to compete with the bully that used to shame you between classes in high school. By default, design professions are left to the non-masculine fellows who are more comfortable chatting with women about things that they value: clothing styles and home design. Ouila, a perfect career choice for a sensitive guy with an artistic flair!

It is a wonderful thing to have 400 cable channels and another 100 streaming video options available to us in this modern world. However, most of it is uninteresting to us, a lot of it trashy, particularly the “reality”-based stuff that is so common these days. Who really wants to know more about compulsive hoarders, 1000-pound sisters, naked people competing in a jungle, phony professional wrestling “matches”, nerds trying to connect with ghosts, the Kardashians, upset people throwing chairs at each other while being interviewed, and so forth? I guess there’s an audience for this silliness: probably the same people who get their kicks on Twitter and Facebook dealing with their boredom.

Do we really need anymore “Real Housewives of…”? How many of these turkeys are out there already?  It seems to me that that last thing that these bimbos can claim to be are housewives, and the things most common with all of them are overdone makeup, tight and gaudy clothes, lots of cleavage and big butts, and loud and nasty tempers. Where do the producers find these “ladies”? (I’m thinkin’ down near the motels that one can rent by the hour.) What husband would want one of these Drama Queens in his home? Who takes care of the kids? What’s for dinner?

We like real reality. One fascinating source of such stuff is YouTube. All manner of uplifting documentation is there, like puppies being loved by the family cat, people rescuing wild animals from bad situations, sports achievements, interviews with famous actors, cooking lessons, etc. (My late Mom had a video on YouTube once: how to make Egg Foo Young. Pretty cool, an 80-year-old passing along knowledge.)

Of course, there are also lots of human drama clips on YouTube. I particularly like the Boat Ramp Failures, Bad Driver Mishaps, Big Wave Surfing, and Texas Hold’em Poker. And one can cue up just about any live performance of their favorite musical group or performer.

We’re done with the purported reality “contests” like Dancing with the Stars, America’s Got Talent, The Voice, etc. If there’s voting involved, politics enters into the judging, and weird things happen that don’t make sense, like famous people who have two left feet (or can’t hear the music because they are DEAF) beating out coordinated dancers. Let’s face it: Chastity/nee Chaz/nee ??? Bono had as much dancing ability as Bozo the Clown.

And, on A.G.T., how many tumbling and cheerleader squads must we endure? They’re cute, God Bless Them, but the winner of the competition is supposed to get a gig in Las Vegas that booze-soaked gamblers will pay money to see in a showroom. Legitimate singers, magicians, incredible acrobats, death-defying stunts, and so forth… that’s what people expect, not an 8-year-old girl who sings Christian hymns.

I guess I’m just old-fashioned when it comes to Vegas: it’s an adult place where supposedly-grown-up folks go to act like juveniles for a few days. Lost wages, Viva Elvis, the Hard Rock Café, and quickie weddings (and divorces). What happens there stays there for a reason… like your money.

Did I mention Chaz Bono? That whole LGBTQ thing has me totally confused, particularly when a guy likes other guys… but then goes bonkers and tries to look like a woman (with artificial tits, tucked penis and balls, makeup and wig). But wait a minute, this guy doesn’t like women… why would he want look like one? To attract men? But most guys would kick his ass when they found out they’d been duped. And, if he looked like a woman, no gay guys would want him either because they don’t like women. So, I’m a straight guy totally confused about this peculiar behavior.

I’m okay with “straight” homosexuality (not all people are wired the same), and I’ve enjoyed friendships with many gay men and lesbians. But I guess I’m not modern enough to understand the kinky stuff and why I should embrace that lifestyle as okay.

Particularly, Chaz Bono’s girlfriend. She was/is a lesbian, she is attracted to other women, and Chaz was initially Chastity, a girl, so that makes some sense. Then, Chastity goes for the hormone therapy and swapping out female for male parts, becomes Chaz, a pseudo guy, even though he/she is a biological woman. The girlfriend sticks with him, at least through the Dancing with the Stars fiasco. What was up with that? Again, I guess I’m too old in my thinking to wrap my head around this behavior and be comfortable with it.

Not to belabor the point, but what is going on with the Trans people? I suppose Chaz was a Trans girl/guy, but at least she/he tried to look like a normal person. (It didn’t really work: Chaz looked like The Michelin Man.) The Trans folk that I’ve seen on television and the news seem to be all about garnering attention, going out of their way to shock and offend regular citizens. Lots of cosmetic surgery to look cartoonish, for some reason. They seem highly immature caricatures of adult people, all dressed up in weird outfits and such, designed to get their faces on social media. I’m ashamed to say (since I’m so square) that I don’t get it.

As long as I’m on this rant, how about the guys who want to be girls competing with the girls in athletics? I used to compete in a lot of things, sportswise, and, generally speaking, girls don’t have the musculature (because of the impact of testosterone) that men do. So, men will typically be faster, stronger, tougher, etc. than women, pound for pound. Women basketball players, even WNBA champs, wouldn’t score a point in the NBA. Guys who want to be girls (because they’re gay?) are not going to compete fairly with real gals because they are still guys, biologically, even if they have their pecker removed and use hormones to grow tits.  I wouldn’t feel too good about one of these confused gay guys ogling the girls in my daughter’s locker room at school or joining her in the women’s lavatory, either. I’m a prude, I suppose, but it doesn’t seem right to me. Call me conservative, if you must, but the guy/girl/whatever can use a stall in the men’s room, okay?

There, I’ve said it, I’m not down with all of the L.B.G.T.Q. shenanigans.

Go ahead, turn me in to Oprah for not being politically correct.

I enjoy writing as a mental exercise more than anything else; the brain needs exercise a muscle, otherwise it turns into mush.

The subject of my writing varies, and my opinions surely impact the direction and tenor of my prose. I’m biased like any other human being: it’s a natural phenomenon. Excuse me if I offend you, but there’s 74 years of experience affecting my thoughts and judgements. I am who I am.

Anecdotes are useful tools for the writer to get a point across. An anecdote is an amusing or interesting story about a real incident or person; a story with a point; an account regarded as unreliable or hearsay.

I use anecdotes in my writing where useful and as accurate as I can recall.

I don’t like unattributed anecdotes. You know the ones: “They say…”, “A guy walked into a bar…”, “Did you hear the one about…?”, “Everyone knows that so-and-so…”, “They’re saying that…”, “Somebody saw/heard…”, “I’m told that…”, etc. In these cases, an unknown, knowledgeable source or supposed eyewitness is providing the tasty story that really grabs the listener. The National Enquirer tabloid, useful to line the bottom of bird cages, was built on salacious anecdotes.

This kind of stuff is really the driving force behind today’s gossip machine, a.ka. social media. Unattributed yarns and pseudo-eyewitness testimony also fills the broadcast airway on 24-7 cable “news” (propaganda masquerading as journalism) shows. Dubious facts, more opinion, with juicy stories designed to excite viewers. Supposed-experts give their “unbiased” opinions, made more tasty by colorful anecdotes.

A few kernels of truth are probably imbedded in their testimony, in-between the exaggerations, the cute anecdotes, and the inflammatory rhetoric. The shocking story told is designed to pound home the political theme of the “news” segment.

I have a friend who must spend half of his day searching for titillating anecdotes that bolster his pre-conceived notion of “truth”. Most of his opinions include patently false information derived from the unknown “they” or the phony expert who is always available for a good fable. Unfortunately, many of the anecdotes he tosses out support his deep-seated racist tendencies.

It is possible for any naturally skeptical fellow to find an anecdote that supports his wackadoo conspiracy theory. For example, “The Moon Landing Was Staged” always gets such folks excited and these true believers might point to a a quote by astronaut Buzz Aldrin to bolster their position. Upon closer examination, Buzz said that the moon landing photo was staged. (Duh, all publicity photos are staged. That American flag plugged into lunar soil didn’t get there by accident!)

Anecdotal information (“Thousands of people saw…”) supported Donald Trump’s assertion that New York City Muslims cheered when the Twin Towers went down. It was a great anecdote that served a purpose in Trump’s 2016 campaign, except that no witness to the supposed “cheering” has ever been found. (Hey, you can’t blame a candidate for trying, can you?)

My pro-gun friend and the NRA folks like to tell anecdotes about criminal activity being foiled by gun-toting citizens, thereby rationalizing “constitutional carry”. The reason that my friend doesn’t bore me with numerous anecdotes about these citizen heroes is that the incidence of such street justice is relatively rare, even in states that do allow folks to be strapped 24-7. If I thought it would make a difference, I could tell my friend an anecdote or two about people getting killed every day by guns in households (suicides, husband-wife arguments gone wrong, children playing with unsecured guns, etc.) One must only read the newspaper each morning to learn about the ongoing carnage caused by the obscene number of guns in our country.

So, cherry-picking the news to make one’s point is a rather unfair use of anecdotes.

During the Pandemic’s heyday, most everyone was annoyed by business closures, mask requirements, mandates for vaccination, etc. Reasons had to be found by libertarians to justify defying intrusive government and casting doubt on epidemiological experts.

Accordingly, an entire industry of “experts” arose to support the uprising against intrusive and overreaching government. These folk would make statements that could then be used in social media, cable news shows, and casual conversation to buttress indignation and opposition to governmental efforts to stop the spread of Covid-19.

Those “experts” weren’t experts. They were people who relished attention, wanted to make a name for themselves, gain favor with candidates (and the President!), and denigrate scientists who knew what they were talking about. Similar to the microscopic fraction of climatologists who deny climate change, these phonies were politically-biased know-it-alls with no epidemiological experience.

I’m thinking of Dr. Mehmet Oz, a physician known for alternative medicine, quack cures, and a history of pushing non-scientific advice and unproven products on television. He’s now running for the Senate in Pennsylvania.

Dr. Scott Atlas was another non-expert physician whose actual specialty is reading xrays, not stopping epidemics. During the Pandemic, Dr. Atlas, who is a conservative think tank policy wonk, actively undermined the President’s Coronavirus Task Force with goofy ideas and public advocacy against mass inoculation, mask wearing, and so forth.

Radiologist Atlas did such a good job sowing confusion and distrust that President Trump, who didn’t show much leadership fighting the Pandemic and wanted his bad dream to just go away, hired the non-expert as his Senior Advisor for Health Care. In this position, Dr. Atlas could publicly take pot shots at the Coronavirus Task Force and provide the media with alternative recommendations on miracle cures, the ineffectiveness of masks, etc. His personal goal was met: to get attention, not save lives. Atlas’ position helped justify Trump’s goal to re-open the economy as soon as possible.

My point is that anyone trying to make a point via an anecdote (including me) can find someone with a tasty story that fits the message that they want to tell. Oz, Atlas, and several broadcasters and podcasters like Sean Hannity and Joe Rogan became the source of “alternative facts” that flooded social media in startling anecdotes to lessen concern about the coronavirus.

“Some doctors say that Ivermectin kills Covid.” (Really? Then, maybe I should try that.) Yeah, but the company that makes Ivermectin says that it doesn’t, so does the FDA, and so do virologists. (I’m confused.)

Does Bigfoot exist? How about the buried Oak Island treasure hoard? Are ghosts real? According to some anecdotal information, yes, these things are real.

Does that make these anecdotes factual? Probably not, because no one has brought forth a skeleton or, in the instance of Bigfoot (or the Loch Ness Monster or the Chupacabra or a Vampire), captured the legendary beast. Absence of evidence isn’t evidence, which leaves plenty of room for juicy anecdotes by kooks and producers of cable TV shows.

I went to school with a guy named Mike Rugg in Felton, California back in the early Sixties. He now runs a Bigfoot Museum there. Mike swears that he and his Dad ran into Bigfoot one day in the redwood forest. But, Mike has no selfie photo, no hair, no autograph… just his interesting anecdote and the famous photo of the beast hiking in the woods that help sell his Bigfoot tee shirts. (I almost bought one.)

The highest-selling book of all-time (the Bible) is a collection of anecdotes by persons unknown. No one knows for sure who wrote the Old Testament, but it sure wasn’t God himself, as he would know better than to include obviously erroneous facts. Aesops Fables and The Tales of Paul Bunyan were more factual.

The four anecdotal Gospels of the New Testament are universally known by Bible experts to have not been written by the supposed authors. Most of the rest of the New Testament is attributed to a “Paul” fellow whose actual existence is unknown to history except in the fables that are credited to him. Physical evidence proving Biblical stories, and historical support of Biblical events, is lacking… as in bupkis. Yes, there were Hebrews, they flourished enough to build a Temple, but no Savior rescued them from their Babylonian and Roman persecutors in the Holy Lands. If Jesus existed, he was unknown to the noted historians of His time that documented religious events in Palestine.

The Bible: highly captivating anecdotes constructed of hot wind… for the purpose of selling religion.

One can envision the ancients sitting around the campfire, telling stories that had been told them by their ancestors. Pretty good yarns about fantastic leaders, battles, and achievements were passed down. (“Hey, Junior, did you know that my Great Uncle Fred Flintstone invented fire and the wheel in the same day? Yes, Son, and he also rode dinosaurs.”) Nowadays we would call such stuff anecdotes; back then, the fabulous fables passed for history. And, over time, this pseudo history became accepted fact, like Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, the Burning Bush, and so forth. Respect for elders was absolute back then: what they said carried weight.

Every civilization pre-dating the Romans had such stories, many of them extremely similar (like the Creation, the Flood, a half-God half-Human leader, etc.).

Such is the power of a riveting anecdote told by an authority figure.

For example: Ex-Prez Trump began telling “I’ve been told…” anecdotes about the so-called 2020 Stolen Election… before it supposedly happened. Not one iota of proof was ever produced to validate Trump’s claims, before or after the election, but jillions of anecdotes attempting to validate Trump’s claims flooded America in late 2020, enraging Trump supporters, and encouraging the Capitol Riot of January 6^th, 2021. Trump’s lawyers actually presented unsupported anecdotal information as part of their legal bid to overthrow election results and were summarily reprimanded by judges: “This is hearsay, not evidence! Bring me proof!” They had none, there is none, and there never was any.

Despite the lack of proof that anything happened in the 2020 election (except Trump getting his ass whipped), the anecdotal “stolen election” stories were so effective that the ex-President was able to con several hundred million dollars in “Stop the Steal” contributions from outraged supporters after the loss.

Nothing sells like a good anecdote.

My friend Lloyd is heading north to Reno this week through Tonapah, Nevada. That’s just a stone’s throw from Area 51, out in the middle of a Nevada desert that’s not fit for man nor beast.

Area 51 is, of course, the Holy Ground of believers in extraterrestrial visitors to Earth. Movies have been made out of this shit: Amateur prizefighter/Oscar winner Will Smith starred in a movie about aliens trying to conquer Earth. I think the Smith character’s jet fighter crash-landed near Tonapah. Randy Quaid RV’d himself into the picture and helped deliver a death blow to the Martian sunsofbitches, sending them to the Promised Land for sure. Hooray, Earth!

(Why aliens ingenious enough to build warp speed spacecraft would want to land in the most desolate part of America is a puzzler to me. Why not San Diego… “America’s City”, home of the best weather on our continent?)

There have been numerous first-person, eyewitness anecdotes of aliens snatching God-fearing earthlings up into their flying saucers, “probing” them, and doing unspeakable things to victims. There are many anecdotes about mysterious flying objects (“definitely not swamp gas!”)  appearing over cities and even being observed by commercial and military pilots.

Very, very interesting stories, all of them, captivating in fact.

However, the evidence is lacking. No one can seem to PROVE such things, despite all the tantalizing anecdotes told by the true believers. But it makes for a real good story on Fox News or on the podcast by the 40-year-old unemployed nerd in his parents’ basement, surrounded by Star Trek memorabilia.

“Hey, Ma…the meatloaf!!!”

Wrong movie, but maybe you get the point: the source of the story matters.

The Four W’s (Who?, What?, When?, Where?) are always useful in verifying the accuracy of some great story that you just heard. It’s Journalism 101, and the very first thing they taught us in college. Is there ANY truth to the whopper that you just heard?

As Ronald Reagan once said, “Trust, but verify.” My Mom used to say, “Consider the source.” My own pearl of wisdom: “If it seems too good to be true (i.e. driving home the argument the guy is making), it probably is.”

I wish people would pause, just a bit, before swallowing the salacious and inflammatory crap that floods our airways, social media, and our text/e-mail in-boxes… and then passing the anecdote along to the next guy, as if it were the God’s Honest Truth.

You can quote me on this.