Old Fartage

I turned 70 a few months ago and I feel fine so far. (Knock on wood!)

When I was in my youth, I considered such an age positively ancient; in fact, I didn’t know anyone that old, even my grandparents. I’d see the TV commercials for dentures, trusses, burial insurance, eyeglasses (!), etc. and think to myself how miserable those old farts must be.

Now I’m one of them.

Actually, I’m thinking that my concerns were overblown a bit. Life doesn’t end at 40, or thereabouts, like I used to think. In a lot of cases, it actually gets better.

Try to sell that story to one of your grandchildren and you’ll get the “vertical stare”.

When I was a teenager in school, my biggest priority, other than doing my homework and sports, was finding ways to hide the boner that I had all day at school. Of course, there were pimples, the bullies at school, parents who didn’t always “understand” (although mine were pretty excellent, I must say), and my awkwardness around the females. I was pretty shy, didn’t know exactly what to say, and was, of course, clumsily making conversation with them with my notebook covering my crotch. It was a miserable time, come to think of it. Hollywood has made many movies about this.

After high school, I was a big-shot lifeguard, a frat guy in college, and made up for lost time with the ladies. Talk about playing the field! It was an exciting time, for sure, as I tried to find out who I was, what made me tick, and figure out what women were about. I studied, worked, and dated pretty much constantly during this period; “Burning both ends of the candle” would be an apt description.

In my twenties, I was developing self-worth by serving in the Air Force, learning a skill, finishing college and taking on a ready-made family (a wife and four boys).  That’s a lot of responsibility. Plus, I embarked on career in public service, which I knew in my heart, was the right thing for me. So, I kept busy learning my new trade and tending to my new wife and family. I was pretty physically fit during this period; I still skied, played basketball, golf, baseball, and goofed around with the kids in the yard.

In my thirties, my career ladder visualized before me and I made great strides becoming valuable to my employer. It turned out that I had a lot of different skills (a head for numbers, writing, speaking, analysis, creativity) and my employer (the County of Riverside) used me in various capacities in planning, engineering, budgeting and public relations. I was becoming a key employee (out of 12,000) and felt like I had arrived, somewhat. At home, my marriage was working out wonderfully, and I was enjoying being a Dad. Our family income was at the point now that we could do some extra things like vacations…with and without the kids. We had achieved the American Dream.

In my forties, I began to realize that my body was getting older. Small injuries would take awhile to heal, and I began to limit the strain I was putting on my body by giving up skiing, throwing the football to the kids, distance running, etc. I settled for easier activities like golf and running on a treadmill. Charlie and I had more disposable income now so we began to travel more, particularly when the last of the kids moved out and we were living alone. I was, at that point, over fifteen years into my career with the County of Riverside and was at the “department head” level. So, I was becoming known to the Executive Office and to the Board of Supervisors, and they relied on me. I enjoyed their trust and my confidence grew.

In my fifties, I was on top of the world professionally…I was Deputy C.E.O. and was a main “player” in any matter having to do with public works planning policy. The County was doing some heady stuff at that time, and the Board valued my judgment on many topics. I lunched daily with the C.E.O. and a few of my peers…we were basically the “braintrust” of a billion dollar enterprise. It felt good. And, at home, my wife was thriving socially and in her own business, and our children were all doing fine off on their own. Physically, I was still golfing, but not running; my knees were beginning to wear out. I had a few procedures like knee and shoulder orthoscopy to extend the life of my working parts. I was still a pretty fit guy, although maybe 15 pounds overweight. I climbed Mt. Whitney up and back in one day, which would tell you that there was still a lot of tread left on the tires. It made me feel alive, too. Another thing which helped me feel young was spending a great amount of time with my grandson, Craig, as he grew from 0 to 5 years-old. We had all sorts of fun and adventures.

In my sixties…well, I was fully retired by then, so I occupied myself with other things, like training and having fun with our dogs, riding my horse “Louie”, getting back into golf, taking up bowling, hiking, writing books  and traveling. It’s like there was not enough time in the day to get everything done. Charlie’s business had grown into a monster by then, and she needed my help during really busy times. And, when we weren’t busy doing those things, we traveled…a lot. And, then, we began to RV travel, first with a trailer and, later, with a Class A motorcoach. It was a lifestyle that allowed us to get out of Murrieta in the hot months and travel to the cooler areas of the country with our children…the dogs. The only down side was Charlie’s business; the fact that we had to take it on the road with us, so that my wife wasn’t able to really decompress. Our RV vacation became a “workcation” for her. So, much of my later 60’s were difficult at home (and on the road) because of the stress Charlie was under, business-wise. We had more arguments and such…something we’d never done in our earlier married life together. So, I’d say that life during my 60’s was “mixed”; a comfortable life, lots of options, fun most of the time, but more stress in the marriage as Charlie Manning Bookkeeping outgrew my wife’s ability to handle it by herself.

The Seventies promises to be a good time for Charlie and I. We’re both healthy, we’re financially well off, and Charlie is passing along her bookkeeping business to our son Jonathan. So, this will decrease the stress level significantly around our house. We’ve been unhappy in our neighborhood for many years (another stresser), and we’ve decided to move. This will provide another “chapter” and “adventure” for our marriage. We will find a house and fix it up just like we want it. Our RV is in tip top shape, good for many years of traveling, and we’re going to make the most of it. I’m still in good enough shape to climb mountains (small ones!), and golf and bowl (as long as I get my cortisone injections!), and the dogs are still active and fun to be with. So, the future looks great. (Knock on wood!).

If my grandchildren were to ask, I would tell them that, sure, it’s fun to be young, athletic, virile, and devil-may-care. But, real happiness comes later when you’ve matured, you have confidence, you have wisdom (“been there, done that”), and you’ve (hopefully) reached the point where you begin to reap the rewards of your hard work. And, if you’re lucky, the lust will have turned to love that will have turned into something much more…a oneness with your life partner, a lifelong adventure that only grows more fuller with each passing day. It is something that a teenager can’t even visualize; it seems so far-fetched. But, it’s out there, within your grasp, if you dare to strive for it.

I may change my mind on all of this if I break my hip tomorrow.

 

 

The Rain in Spain…

Our son Jeff and wife Carol were by last weekend to have dinner and chat.

We travel with them a lot, mainly because Tim and Jonathan have had passport problems over the years, and they’ve been on strict budgets. We’ve gone on some cruises and Mexican land-based vacations with Jeff and Carol, and have always had a good time.

Somehow, we got on the subject of Spain, which is one of Charlie and I’s favorite destinations. Anyway, they expressed interest in doing a Spain trip in 2020 (or sooner, if possible) with us. So, I’ve shifted into Trip Planner mode.

Carol and Jeff have never been to Europe. In fact, they’ve never been to New York. So, we talked about a trip where we fly from LAX to NY and then spend one whole day before hopping the Atlantic. We might take one of those bus/boat all day tours around New York, just so that they can see what’s there, and then maybe go down to Times Square at night to eat and take in the weirdness and glitz.

The next day will be wasted, as we have to hop the Pond. We’ll get into Madrid and be pooped. So, maybe a nice nap and then attempt a tapas crawl in the downtown bar district.

The next day we can do a tour of the Royal Palace (it’s supposed to be real nice, like Versailles), wander around the Plaza Mayor and the Puerto Del Sol, and scout out some nice places to eat. Then, another tapas crawl at night.

The next day we will pick up a rental car and head off to Toledo. It’s only about an hour’s drive to the east. Toledo is the old capital of Spain, it’s a wonderfully-preserved hilltop walled-city that is…just the coolest place. Cars are not allowed (except local business loading/unloading, during limited times), the streets are cobble-stoned and narrow (i.e. designed for people and carts back in Medieval times), and it is a great pedestrian experience. Lots of shops with armor, lace, decor, food, etc. And, it is a real town…people live and work here, like in Venice. So, you can wander off down any alley way and just explore. It’s fun.

The cathedral in the middle of town is magnificently sumptuous. This community (and region of Spain) poured a lot of manpower and riches into building this church over several hundred years; they had a gold-plated cathedral before the town had running water…those were the priorities of the times!

Toledo is very special at night, somewhat like Venice. It’s a great place to wander around, drop into a local bar, have a drink and some tapas, and then wander off, find another place, repeat, and so forth. You get to hang with the locals; it’s a good feeling. Toledo is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which means that it is pretty special.

We will spend two days in Toledo. Then, we will head off for Cordoba, about 3 hours of boring driving across the plain (looks like Texas, with some olive trees thrown in here and there). In Cordoba, we will find the first evidence of Moorish habitation; the architecture will change from Middle Ages Gothic to Islamic arches and decorations. We will visit the Mezquita, which is a mosque that was built in A.D. 784. It’s a cool  place; you can almost picture turban-headed guys and harems within the building. The Muslims held power here for about 500 years.

After staying the night, we will drive over to Granada. This is the most spectacular Moorish site on our trip, home of The Alhambra. This was the palace of the caliph for about 700 years, and it is a grand example of Islamic art and architecture. There is also a garden residence (i.e. palace) on the grounds called the Generalife Gardens, where the caliph would hang out in the hot, Summer months. It’s very pleasant up there; lots of trees, running water, cooler breezes, wonderful view of the surrounding area, etc. The Alhambra is also a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

We will spend the night in Granada. This will give us a chance to visit some of the interesting nightlife and food. There is a large gypsy contingent here, and we might have dinner up in the Sacromante area and see some of the gypsy-styled Flamenco dancing.

From Granada, we will drive a couple of hours south to Seville. This is a large city which features two extraordinary tourist sites: the Cathedral and the Alcazar. The cathedral is the tallest Gothic church in the world, and everything about it is immense. The Alcazar is a Moorish palace right across the street, and it has some wonderful  gardens.

Seville is the home of the Flamenco dance, so we will probably go to an show after we stroll the city and have something to eat.

In the morning, we will head off to Ronda, which is one of Spain’s “white cliff towns” up above the Costa del Oro. It is the home of bullfighting in Spain, and also where banditos used to hang out. The town straddles a deep gorge; it’s quite breathtaking, something like Taormina in Sicily. We will wander the place and have a nice lunch there.

Then we will head off to Gibraltar. This is an unusual place; it’s a British colony (I think), right at the southern tip of Spain. Lots of commercial activity here, like St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands. Plus, there is “The Rock”, and the weird Berber monkey who populate the top and pester tourists. Jeff and Carol might want to experience that; Charlie and I have “been there, done that”. We’ll probably finish off the day with a fine British meal like fish and chips and a pint. Cheerio.

The next morning we will drive a few miles up the road to Tarifa. It is the base of the ferry which makes the short ocean trip over to Tangier, Morocco (Africa!). We’ve done this before, and we think that Jeff and Carol will be blown away.

Tangier is the Tijuana of Africa, a hectic brew of Westernized Arabic culture that is arresting, to say the least. We had a guide the last time we went there, and I will try to engage “Aziz” again for this trip. He kept us entertained, away from pickpockets, told the interesting story of Morocco, explained the culture, took us through the souk (the narrow alleys filled with merchant shops), and found us a nice local restaurant. Hopefully, we can relive the wonderful time we had here many years ago on Thanksgiving Day (in U.S.).

By the end of the day, we will be happy to take the ferry back to Spain and drive about 90 miles north to Malaga. This is a seaside, tourist area with lots of hotels, condos, restaurants and bars. We will find one of them and finish the day with a nice meal.

We will return our rental car the next morning and take a flight from Malaga to Madrid. We will then have the rest of the day to sightsee and line up a nice place to eat in the evening.

The next day will see us begin our two-day return to America (NY) and, then, to Los Angeles.

That the plan…as it stands right now. But, things could change; they always do.

 

 

Turnaround?

President Trump acted presidential this week when he seemed to indicate that he might consider raising the age at which young people can purchase the type of assault rifle that was used in the Parkland High School massacre.

That’s a good start, if he’s sincere. Of course, he changes his mind on things a lot.

The NRA will not like this one bit. So, it will do everything in its power to stifle such talk.

If the Republican Party actually took the lead on this issue and proposed some meaningful measures to lessen gun violence, they could probably prevail in the mid-term elections. THIS IS THE ISSUE OF OUR TIME, and they need to get on the right side of it.

President Trump could salvage his presidency with some bold moves right now. I wonder if he realizes this. It would be the “deal” of his lifetime.

UPDATE: The Prez just undercut any credibility he might have earned as a born-again anti-gun activist when he made the following public statement alluding to the cowardice of the cops in Parkland who didn’t enter the building to confront the teen-age killer:

“You know I really believe, you don’t know until you’re tested, but I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon and I think most of the people in this room would’ve done that too,” he said.

Yeah, sure.

This is the same guy, Cadet Bone Spurs, who ran in the wrong direction to avoid the draft during the Vietnam War. Remember? The guy who came up with the mysterious bone spurs…which miraculously disappeared when he needed to go golfing or play tennis.

He’s a narcissist; it’s all about doing what’s best for him. He wouldn’t run into a building unless he could make money off of it (or there was an attractive naked lady in there).

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel shot off this one the other night: “Trump would have ran into the school and stabbed the shooter with his bone spurs.”

Mr. President: Some words of advice…Stick to the script, act sincere, but don’t embellish. Because when you do, the Snake Oil Salesman reappears.

UPDATE: The Prez got a call from the NRA yesterday. Now, he’s against raising the minimum age to purchase assault weapons. (Gee, that’s a surprise!)

Stay tuned: Trump might decide tomorrow to LOWER the age minimum on assault weapons (and hand grenades, bazookas, Bouncing Betty’s, and Tomahawk missiles)…whatever sells.

Our leader also parroted back the NRA goal of arming our nation’s grade school teachers. “Johnny, get back to your seat and stop talking. Don’t make me use this!”

The poor kids already feel like school is prison. This surely won’t help.

The next brain fart from NRA Honk-in-Chief will be to arm the students so that they can repel attackers.

Those NRA guys have a nice, firm grip on the Trumpian testicles. And, they hardly have to squeeze.

NEW UPDATE: Getting negative press on his latest flip-flop, President Trump today is IN FAVOR of raising minimum age to buy assault rifles. He says that too many politicians are afraid of the NRA. He’s not, of course; he’s the one that would have run into the building…

Stay tuned…we haven’t hit bottom yet.

NEWEST UPDATE (3/10/18): Now the President is AGAINST raising the minimum age to purchase assault rifles, re-aligning himself with NRA doctrine.

Stay tuned for more flip-flops from President Wishy-Washy.

 

 

T’s and P’s

America had another mass shooting this week.

Yet, again, it took place in a school. Seventeen children were slaughtered by a young, deranged guy with his legally-purchased AR-15 assault rifle.

This type of horrific incident occurs so often in recent years that the public response has become “Oh” instead of “Oh My God!”. We’ve become numb to such insanity, a Nation of shoulder-shruggers, a population of adults who don’t appear to give a shit. Our Nation should be ashamed of itself.

Our politicians, on both sides of the aisle, have developed a response which, in reality, just kicks the can down the street for future generations to deal with: “Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families.”

How sincere they sound; how the parents of the massacre must be comforted by those empty words.

(This kind of atrocity happens so often in our country that political cartoonists have a drawer full of sketches at the ready for the next incident. What a shame that is.)

I know…it’s really not fair to blame the politicians…because we adults elect them. If we honestly cared about this huge problem, then we would, as a Nation, insist that our elected officials actually do something meaningful to stop the carnage.

“Now is not the time”…how many times have we heard our President and the NRA-supported Congressmen say this in response to overwhelming public support of limiting guns in our country?

I’m 70 years old. We didn’t have mass shootings in our K-12 schools when I was growing up. None…not a single one. The country didn’t experience mass shootings of any kind back in the 50’s.

Now, they are commonplace…hardly even news. Our problem seems to be snowballing: the rate at which public mass shootings occur has tripled since 2011. We’ve seen five of the ten worst mass shootings in modern U.S. history during the past 26 months.

Why?

These incidents of mass murder are not being carried out by deranged or pissed off individuals with brass knuckles, baseball bats, knives or garrotes. The killers are using guns, and more specifically semi-automatic weapons. Those are the kinds of pistols or rifles that can fire a round as fast as the murderer can pull the trigger. That’s how so many helpless victims can be brutalized in such a short period.

Weapons of this type were not generally owned by the public when I was a child. Probably some sportsmen had them, some G.I.’s who had returned from WWII, some criminals, etc. Certainly, the Average Joe didn’t have one in his home, and…absolutely…his teenage kid didn’t have one readily available.

Nowadays, we’ve got idiot parents allowing their children to handle and fire such weapons, like they’re toys, not killing instruments.

As a society, do we think this is cute? Or, more importantly, not harmful to these children?

So, we had killings and murders back when I was this age, but crazed idiots walking into buildings and spraying tens, if not hundreds, of strangers with hot lead just didn’t occur…because the technology wasn’t commonplace.

It was also a different world in the 1950’s in terms of culture. “Psychopath” was a very derogatory term, not something to be proud of. Murder has always been with us, of course, but wanton mayhem inflicted on innocent people…even the thought of such a thing…was beyond the pale. Motion pictures minimized gore, and there were no vigilante “heroes”. Bad guys always got theirs by the final act. “Ya’ got me!”, the villain would exclaim, as he dramatically dropped dead from a pistol shot by a hero cop.

Nowadays, machine-gun toting actors like Stallone, Seagal, The Rock, Donnie Wahlberg, and others star in blood-drenched action movies where even the good guys break the rules.

I recall an Arnold Schwartzeneggar movie from years ago which showed good guy Arnie brutally killing at least three dozen bad guys…during the friggin’ opening credits!

Our children play video games which realistically depict bodies being shot to smithereens by machine guns, heads being chopped off, lives erased willy-nilly, etc.

Doesn’t anyone in this Country think that this stuff desensitizes children to death and suffering? And, that possibly, a kid that get’s off on this type of entertainment might not want to try it out “for real”?

No other country in the world experiences the mass shooting horror that the United States does. Sure, there have been incidents in other countries, but not in the number and magnitude of the massacres that we seem to endure on a regular basis.

Why is this?

For one thing, there are a lot more guns in America than anywhere else. The United States has more guns than population; i.e. more than 100 guns per 100 people. According to the Congressional Research Service, in a study done ten years ago, there were approximately twice as many guns per capita in the United States as there were in 1968…about 300 million guns in total.

The United States has three times as many guns per capita as France, ten times as many as Russia, and almost twenty times as many guns per capita as the United Kingdom.

Let’s face it: we’re gun crazy.

And, worse, we allow young people to legally own them.

Most of our school mass shooting incidents have been perpetrated by young people. They’re usually unhappy current students, students that have recently been expelled, or former students who have ill feelings towards current students, teachers or administrators.

Young folks (under 20) are working their way through a hormone-charged portion of their lives. They get upset easily, argue with their parents a lot, feel restricted in their freedom, don’t like “rules”, suffer huge mood swings, get crushed in their first romantic endeavors, and many have suicidal thoughts. The often lash out at parents and friends. Hopelessness is commonplace among those with low self esteem or with bad home lives. And, bullying at school often compounds their uncomfortable slog through adolescence.

So, there are a lot of unhappy young people out there. And, in our country in particular, deadly weapons are easily available to such individuals. Their parents might have them, their friends might have them, and, if the unhappy child is over 18 years old, he can legally purchase a semi-automatic assault rifle in 48  states.

Guys like myself, being potentially readied to head off to Vietnam back in the day, trained with a killing weapon just like this.

This is the type of weapon that Nikolas Cruz used this past week to mow down scores of students at his former high school in Parkland, Florida. Fourteen students and three teachers died in that massacre.

In nine U.S. states, people under the age of 18 can legally purchase such a military-grade killing weapon with their parent’s permission; in Vermont, the age is 16.

WHY?

Why do we as a society allow young people to purchase or possess such weapons? Why would a kid barely older than puberty need to own a military-grade assault weapon?

I cannot think of a good answer, probably because there is none.

That any American citizen should have a military-grade assault weapon in his/her home is questionable to begin with, but…the Second Amendment gives our citizens the right to bear arms.

I’m OK with that; I own a gun for family protection.

But, it can reasonably be argued that the “arms” that the Founders were talking about were single-shot pistols and rifles; the weaponry of the age, and the type of weapon that the citizenry typically had for hunting and general protection.

Our first leaders did not anticipate weapons of mass carnage in the hands of regular citizens, and, certainly, not in the hands of adolescents.

Which brings me to the most salient point…should young people be allowed to purchase or possess such weapons? If they really need them, why not allow them to own hand-grenades?

The Founders didn’t anticipate them either. Are they “arms”?

Recognizing the hormone-driven period of adolescence, and the impaired judgment of young people generally, our society has established “maturity” bars for young people to climb before they can partake of some adult freedoms. I’m thinking of the purchase of cigarettes and alcohol, voting, ability to sign contracts, driving privileges, etc.

In California, to use an example, we have always restricted young people from driving automobiles until they’ve reached a reasonable age. Back when I was an adolescent, one could drive a motorcycle at age 14-1/2, and could begin driving a car at age 16. Our State experienced so much trouble with young drivers that our elected officials eventually raised the minimum age to operate a motor vehicle, limited the hours in which they could drive,  and limited the ability of younger drivers to transport their friends while driving.

We’ve also limited their “Freedom of Speech” while driving…no cell phone use. This really pisses them off.

In other words, we learned by experience, and our new laws have saved many lives.

First of all, I think that we need to do the same thing with semi-automatic weapons in this Nation. Young people, maybe defined as under 20 years old, should not be allowed to purchase, possess or use semi-automatic weapons.

But, wait, “What about the Second Amendment!!” I can hear the National Rifle Association bullhorn already, and the politicians sucking up to them. It’s already happened this week, before the school children’s corpses were laid to rest.

Conservative radio-host/blowhard Rush Limbaugh’s answer to the problem: the teachers at our public schools should carry concealed weapons! (Yeah, that’s what we want…a bunch of teachers/would-be-cops spraying the crowded school corridors with hot lead, in the hopes of taking down a deranged guy with an assault rifle.

Yeah, great idea…and another drain on the school’s education budget.)

NRA: We can’t limit the Second Amendment!!!! Counter-argument: What about the First Amendment? This one give us the Freedom of Speech. It does, but according to the Supreme Court, it doesn’t give someone the right to scream “Fire!” at the top of their lungs in a crowded theater.

Some of our “rights” under the Constitution are not absolute, nor should they be, nor were they ever such. The Founders were reasonable men, not idiots. That’s why we have a Judiciary.

And, our society, hence our elected officials, should not allow the NRA to cow them over the seemingly absolute ideal of the Second Amendment. With freedom comes responsibility, and we, as a society, have the responsibility to protect our young people from themselves. We can’t blame politicians when we elect the sonofabitches.

Every citizen should enjoy all of our freedoms when they are of an age and maturity to handle the responsibility that goes with them.

Is “mental health” the villain here? In a way, yes…it’s mental immaturity. A very mature individual should be handling weapons that can kill with such ease, not a tantrum-throwing, pimply-faced adolescent. (Of course, are the 50 year-old guys wearing camos and flying Confederate flags from their pickup really…mature?)

 Nevertheless, our Nation has seen that military-grade assault weapons, designed for no other reason than killing, should not be available to young people. It is time for something to be done about that…

other than “Thoughts and Prayers”.

Secondly, we should make semi-automatic weapons of any type more difficult to purchase and possess. The military and police need them, but the average person, and even sporting hunters, don’t need killing weapons of this type.

I am reminded of a visit to Costa Rica many years ago. This is a country that has fully-embraced ecotourism as a feature of its economy.

In part to support that ideal, and also to minimize the cost of expensive infrastructure, the people of Costa Rica have taken positive steps to minimize automobile use. At that time, every citizen could own a vehicle, but the tax on the purchase (or importation) of an automobile into the country was 100 percent. If you wanted to own a $50,000 SUV, you paid that to the seller and another $50,000 to the government. Needless to say, most people utilize the country’s excellent public transportation system.

Here in the United States, we have disincentive taxes like that which are applied to cigarettes. Yes, it is legal to smoke the carcinogenic things, but our government makes it pretty expensive to do so. And, the money raised from the tax helps support anti-smoking advertisements, further discouraging the nasty habit.

We could do something like that with specific weapons that society determines to be “unhealthy”. For example, we could impose a 100 percent tax on the purchase of semi-automatic weapons, with the net proceeds (after program administration) going to government-sponsored gun buy-back programs. In other words, we would use gun owners money to begin to reduce the private, 300 million gun inventory of weapons in the United States.

Australia instituted a nation-wide gun buyback program, and the suicide rate plummeted.

It would still be legal (if you met age requirements and were vetted by law enforcement) to own semi-automatic weapons, but it would be more expensive to do so.

Thirdly, we might also want to require all handguns and rifles to be licensed, much like we do with motor vehicles, drivers, businesses, dogs, etc. If we were to do this, then the possession of a non-licensed gun or rifle would be a crime, subject to confiscation (like the RICO act) and criminal prosecution, if the matter is egregious (like someone with a hoard of unregistered weapons).

In this way, law enforcement would be more effective; if they happen upon a drug house, or gang headquarters, or even in a stop-and-frisk operation, any unlicensed weapons would be immediately confiscated and destroyed, further minimizing the gun inventory problem.

None of theses measures would impinge on the Second Amendment, any more than cigarette taxes, automobile licenses, alcohol taxes, business licenses, or dog licenses infringe on our citizens “pursuit of happiness”. They would be society taking reasonable steps to control a problem.

Part of that control would be the tracking of these weapons. If a tax must be paid upon the sale or transfer of a weapon, and the weapon’s ownership must be licensed, it would make it difficult for young people (under 20, and fully vetted by law enforcement) to obtain one.

And, finally, it goes without saying that allowing such a prohibited minor from using a friend’s or relative’s semi-automatic weapon would be a felony.

This all sounds draconian, but we have  a public health emergency right now. Our citizens must be protected.

“Thoughts and prayers” won’t cut the mustard.

 

 

 

 

 

Oy Vey!

I wouldn’t want to be Jared Kushner.

Yeah, he’s married to a beautiful, smart gal, but…he’s also the son-in-law of President Donald Trump. That’s gotta be a rough gig.

Jared’s a smart guy, I’m sure, and has done well in the Kushner family’s real estate development business, from what we’re told. It must be nice to be a millionaire when you’re born.

I’m not sure if young Jared wanted the assignment, he just picked the short straw, or was the only loyal Jew in the Trump family who was available (maybe Ivanka was busy with her clothing line?).

But, evidently, Jared was appointed by his father-in-law to resolve the Middle East situation. “Report back to me when you’ve got that taken care of, Son, and then you can tackle world hunger.” Or, more likely, “Solve that by next year or you’re fired!”

Seriously, where would anyone start to resolve the mess over there? It would be easier to make wine out of water, or…walk on water. Houdini couldn’t find a way out of this box. Melania’s marriage has a better chance of success.

Good luck, Jared! You’ll need it.

The Middle East is known as the “Cradle of Civilization”, so its understandable that people have been there a long time, arguing about this and that. The earliest recorded wars and empires were set in this part of the world, and the world’s major religions started there, as well.

The Jewish people (Hebrews) grew up there, and struggled for a thousand years to establish a secure foothold. But, time after time, they were pummeled by invading armies. Their religious center, King Solomon’s Temple in Jerusalem, was totally demolished a couple of times. On several occasions, most of their population was forced into slavery or forcibly removed from their homeland. As a result, by the Dark Ages, most Jews lived outside of the Middle East.

So, to summarize, for a period of about 4,000 years, the Middle East was a crossroads, where empires such as the Egyptians, the Persians, the Greeks, the Romans, the Turks, and the Ottomans ran roughshod over the native residents. Ever since about the 7th century, the Middle East has been overwhelmingly Muslim in religious preference, and Arabs and Turks have dominated the political power. Jewish presence and influence in the region was essentially nil.

When oil was discovered in Persia (what is now Iran) by the British in 1908, the major industrial nations became quite enamored with the Middle East. The region had been part of the Ottoman Empire (Arab) for the preceding 450 years at that point. But, the Ottomans made the mistake of allying themselves with the Germans in World War I, and, in the subsequent defeat, the Ottoman Empire was dissolved by the victors.

The British Empire, at that point, was still in full swing, and liked throwing their weight around and lording over everything they could get away with. There were wealthy Jews in Europe at that time, particularly the Rothschild family, which had amassed one the world’s great fortunes through their banking business. The Rothschilds had great influence with European governments at the time, because they financed major national endeavors like wars, colonial enterprises, government solvency, etc.

The Rothschilds were also were among the leaders of the new Zionist movement, which was trying to make a case for the Jews to return “home” to Palestine because of the persecution that they faced in Europe.

In a monumental stroke of stupid diplomacy, the British government, in 1917, sent a letter from its Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour to Lord Rothschild declaring its “support for the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people”. At about that time, British troops captured Palestine, Gaza, Jaffa, and Jerusalem as part of a WWI offensive. So, the British had some leverage and standing to influence what happened to this area.

Zionists worldwide were galvanized; the Balfour Declaration had given Jews an “official” charter to exist in Palestine. The combination of events spurred extraordinary growth in the Zionist movement, and triggered large-scale Jewish immigration from Europe to Palestine. At the end of the 19th century, there might have been 35,000 Jews in Palestine who had “returned” from exile in Europe. When the Balfour Declaration was announced (in 1917), there might have been maybe 75,000 Jews in Palestine. From that point until just prior to World War II, the Jewish population in Palestine swelled by another 372,000. Many of these immigrants were fleeing Nazism.

In retrospect, it probably saved most of that number from the Holocaust.

But, the long-time Christian and Arab communities of Palestine, which constituted at least 90 percent of the population, were strongly opposed to the Balfour Declaration and the fact that this decision by a European power had been made without their input about their own homeland.  They and their forefathers had lived in this hardscrabble land for eons. They could see the handwriting on the wall…the potential that they could become the minority in their own homeland…and it was a bitter pill to swallow.

Shortly after the end of WWII, another 110,000 Jews immigrated to Palestine, despite British attempts to limit the inflow. By that time, perhaps 650,000 Jews had immigrated. The total population in the region at that time was about 1.9 million; thus, the Jewish population of Palestine was now about half of the Muslim (native Arab) population. Resentment between the newcomers and the long-time Muslim population was rising.

The British Mandate (colonial control) of Palestine was set to expire in 1948. The newly-created United Nations, in one of its first decisions, adopted a resolution proposing to separate Palestine into two states: Jewish and Arab.

The Arab states rejected it out of hand, and, almost immediately, a civil war broke out, and the plan was not implemented.

In May, 1948, the British Mandate expired, and the British withdrew their military from Palestine. On May 14, 1948, Jewish leaders proclaimed the establishment of the State of Israel. The next day, the 1948 Arab-Israeli War began, with the invasion of (or, “intervention” in) Palestine by the Arab states.

The forces from Egypt, Syria, Jordan, and Iraq were defeated by the upstart Israelis, and, as a result, the new State of Israel controlled not only the area that the U.N. Resolution had proposed for Israel, but also 60 percent of the proposed Arab area.

It was a grave miscalculation by the Arab world: they were humiliated by the defeat, and the Palestinian Arabs paid a heavy price by ending up worse off than they would have under the U.N. partition plan.

The conflict triggered significant demographic change throughout the Middle East. Around 700,000 Palestinian Arabs fled or were expelled from their homes in the area that became Israel, and they became Palestinian refugees. (They now refer to this turn of events as Al Nakba (“the catastrophe”). In the three years following the war, about 700,000 Jews immigrated to Israel with many of them having been expelled from their previous countries of residence in the Middle East.

So, an insidious game of tit-for-tat had begun in this already-contentious area of the world, thanks to the Balfour Declaration, the Holocaust, and the U.N. Resolution for the Partition of Palestine, the Arab world’s intransigence, etc., not to mention the underlying religious differences.

Basically, the Arab world has continued the conflict in various ways for the past 70 years. In each and every war or uprising, the Israelis have prevailed, further humiliating the Arab world. Because they have been under attack ever since their country was formed, the State of Israel spends a significant portion of their GDP on defense. The Israeli military could be the most technologically-advanced in the world, and the State of Israel also possesses nuclear weapons. They are surrounded by enemies, but are more than capable of defending themselves.

In that time, the population of the State of Israel has grown to 8.5 million, of which approximately 6.5 million are Jewish citizens. More than sixty percent of the world’s Jews now live in Israel. It is their ancestral home, it is theirs by right of conflict now, and they won’t be pushed around by anyone.

The Palestinian Arabs are the big losers in this tragic story. Their leaders saw the “catastrophe” coming, overplayed their weak hand, and are now much worse off than had they worked with the Jews on some reasonable compromise. They now exist at the sufferance of the State of Israel.

If the surrounding Arab countries were to obtain nuclear weapons (Iran is building a nuclear capacity), and foolishly decide to use them on their Jewish neighbors, there is no doubt that Israel would respond in kind and decimate major Arab cities in the region. It would trigger World War III, for sure, and maybe the Apocalypse itself.

So, what’s the United States doing in the Middle East? This sounds like a neighborhood squabble.

Well, in the first place, about half of the world’s petroleum reserves are located in the Middle East. The United States economy, the largest in the world for the past sixty years, runs on petroleum. It has been in America’s strategic interest to maintain some semblance of order in this part of the world.

So, in order to ensure cheap petroleum for our economy, we’ve had to suck up to the oil-rich Arabs, protect them from military aggression (Russia, China, Saddam Hussein, etc.), and put up with their under-the-table funding of anti-Israel shenanigans. This would include Palestinian troublemakers like the Yasser Arafat’s PLO, the Hamas terrorist organization, and Al-Queda (the guys responsible for 9-11), just to name a few.

On the other hand, the United States was the first country in the world to officially recognize the State of Israel as its own separate country; in fact, President Truman extended recognition (from the most powerful and influential country in the world) to them on the day they declared their statehood in May, 1948. That had to stiffen their backbone, just a bit.

To the Arab world, this was an outrage that would never be forgotten or forgiven.

Also not forgotten is the fact that Israel has been the biggest recipient of U.S. foreign aid over the past 70 years, totaling about $220 billion, most of which was earmarked for weapons. In essence, America has helped establish an anti-Arab, strategically-located military post smack dab in the center of the Middle East. Israel  is its own country, but its interests and those of the United States have traditionally been closely aligned. We have no formal alliance with each other…it’s more like a handshake deal: “we’ve got your back”.

As discussed above, the steadily-strengthening Israeli state has defended itself on numerous occasions from Arab aggression. The Israelis always seem to be smarter and better equipped than their foes. And, their ace in the hole, in case things go sideways, is their ability to go nuclear. It is estimated that the Israeli nuclear inventory is the third largest in the world. That’s a lot of firepower for such a small country.

This is another sore point for their Arab neighbors.

One of the region’s major Muslim states, Iran, has attempted to develop nuclear weapons of its own. In 1981, a surprise Israeli air strike destroyed an Iranian nuclear reactor, which was believed by Israel to be a pre-cursor to a nuclear weapons program. That was allegedly followed up in 2008 by the introduction of the Stuxnet virus into Iranian nuclear research facilities, doing tremendous damage. And, in 2011, a joint Israeli-Kurd black ops incursion supposedly destroyed much of Iran’s nuclear infrastructure.

So, Israel has been very successful in preventing its neighbors to achieve nuclear parity with them. This has particularly enraged Iran and its Shiite terrorist arm, Hezbollah, which is responsible for many of the bombings and other atrocities aimed at Israeli citizens in recent years.

Since the United States and Israel are closely aligned on security issues, and their intelligence forces typically work together on regional issues, it is probably assumed that America was complicit in these attacks. In addition, the United States has spearheaded economic sanctions against Iran as a deterrent to developing nuclear weapons.

So, the Arab world holds that against us, as well.

And, we can’t forget the occasions when either we, or our local surrogate (Israel) kicked the ass of some local Arab hero. That would include Egypt’s Abdul Nasser, Libya’s Moammar Quadaffi, Iraq’s Sadaam Hussein (twice), and Al Queda’s Osama Bin Laden. More recently, the U.S. participated in a joint effort to emasculate the upstart ISIS caliphate in Syria.

America hasn’t made a lot of Arab friends lately.

For the past 25 years, the United States has has foot soldiers on the ground in the Middle East, fighting in Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen, and elsewhere. We’re tired of being there, with no apparent end in sight. And, Arabs in the region are tired of our occupancy of their homelands.

For all of these reasons, Muslim children in the Arab  world and throughout the world, generally, are being taught to hate America, “The Great Satan”.

All Jared Kushner must do is reverse this trend, force the parties to let bygones be bygones, and encourage everyone love each other. The Arab/Muslim world and the State of Israel can tell how important this mission is by the fact that Donald Trump sent a young real estate developer from New York, with no diplomatic experience at all, to mediate the dispute.

In the likely event that the lad’s efforts will be futile, President Trump is hedging his bets by authorizing Big Oil to maximize oil production in the United States, thus making our country less susceptible to Middle East petro-blackmail by the Saudis and other actors.

I actually think this is the prudent thing to do. Maybe, at some point, we can just tell the Arabs, Muslims and Israelis…”Go to Hell”, and let them have at it.

Another alternative is for the Heavenly Father himself to intervene…at last. He could, of course, unleash another Flood, but that would be punitive to everyone, not just the bickering Muslims and Jews.

But, because these arch enemies are both “People of the Book” (i.e. both Jews and Muslims descend from, and worship, the God of Abraham), perhaps His Holiness could resolve this issue with surgical precision, targeting Muslims and Jews only. After all, he can part seas.

Do you remember that fancy flashlight device that the Men in Black carried around in their pockets: The Neurolyzer. The guys could hold it up in front of an audience, say “Look here!”, flash it, and the targets would thereafter have no memory of what had transpired.

I am confident that anything that man can imagine, God can create. After all, He is omnipotent, and He created the Universe and all the fancy science in it…in only seven days. Surely, he can come up with a Super Dooper Neurolyzer device to rid the Muslims and Jews of their thousands of years of bad memories. “Hey, looketh over here!”

Short of that, I think Jared Kushner is on a fool’s mission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Norquist Legacy

Most Republican members of Congress have, at one time or another, signed the “Taxpayer Protection Pledge”, a litmus test authored by a Tea Party conservative political blowhard named Grover Norquist.

Basically, the Norquist Pledge opposes all tax increases. Prior to 2012, 95 percent of all GOP Congressmen had signed the pledge, including the present Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan.

(Congressman Ryan rose to fame by being the most hawkish of Republicans, absolutely and completely opposed to budget deficits. In 2011, House Republicans, led by Paul Ryan, issued a report full of dire warnings about the dangers of budget deficits. “The United States is facing a crushing burden of debt,” it declared, warning of a looming fiscal crisis that might soon “capsize” the economy.)

Ryan did such a good job in mobilizing opposition to Democratic budget proposals that the Chief Fiscal Hawk/Big Government Hater was later rewarded with the job of Speaker of the House.

As any high school Civics student knows, taxes fund governments. These students have also learned that the cost of living is constantly increasing. Thus, as the cost of government increases, revenues must keep pace or the system will atrophy.

Some people, like Grover Norquist, Paul Ryan, and Donald Trump, want the government to shrink. At least, they do when it comes to the security net for the elderly and the poor, regulation of industry, and environmental protection. So, the idea is that by keeping taxes stagnant, those superfluous (in their mind) government services will be starved to death. It’s a Win-Win proposition for the rich and Big Business.

It’s not so good if you have the misfortune to be elderly or poor.

Fiscal responsibility, as defined by the Norquist/Ryan/Tea Party true-believers, has always meant opposing tax increases, supporting balanced budgets (i.e. current year costs balanced by current year income), and holding firm that any proposed new program or increased allocation to an existing one must be matched by reduction in other existing programs.

The Gospel According to Paul (Ryan) used to be that budget deficits were to be strictly avoided; anyone who proposed such a thing was considered a Liberal, a Communist, or worse, a “tax and spend” Democrat.

This is consistent with the basic Republican mantra made popular by Ronald Reagan. Grover Norquist’s no tax pledge was a gimmicky way to hold the GOP members feet to the fire. Republican candidates throughout the land proudly wore the “approved by Grover Norquist” badge. Any GOP aspirants who wouldn’t sign up wouldn’t get elected.

Remember George H.W. Bush’s famous “Read my lips!” pledge not to raise taxes if elected President.

He was elected, raised taxes, and was defeated for re-election.

The GOP Fiscal Hawk/Anti-Big Government ploy worked pretty good as an obstructionist tactic when the Democrats controlled the White House or when Republicans controlled either the Senate or the House of Representatives. In other words, when the GOP wasn’t totally in charge of running the government. So, they could “talk the talk”, but didn’t have to “walk the walk”.

A funny thing happened in 2016: the GOP won the White House, the Senate, and the House of Representatives. Now, the fiscally responsible, deficit-hating Republicans are IN CHARGE, or, more importantly, RESPONSIBLE, for everything.

Now, America gets to see what they really believe.

Lo and behold, it has become increasingly obvious, with each passing month, that the Republican Party wants to spend money…a lot of it.

They are, of course, going to reduce spending in those areas that they traditionally despise (Social Security and Medicare programs for our elderly, health and welfare services to the poor, industry regulation, and environmental protection). However, they are off-setting those reductions with very large increases in pet programs (like the military) and are proposing expensive new programs (like border walls, infrastructure improvements, etc.). So, Federal government costs are going up…way up.

Yes, my friends…the guys who supposedly hate Big Government are making it…BIGGER. Go figure.

So, what is the Trump/Ryan plan to pay for this extravagant spending?

First, they’ve changed the tax code to REDUCE revenue, by giving small tax reductions to the middle class and large reductions to the super-wealthy.

Yes, students, they propose to lower tax revenue and spend a lot more!

“But, Teacher…that doesn’t make any sense! How can they spend tax revenue that they don’t collect?” Good question, Class.

Back to Mr. Norquist…

Since our Tea Party patriots have sworn a sacred oath not to raise taxes (they’re keeping that promise!), they propose to BORROW SEVEN TRILLION DOLLARS over the next ten years to pay for the generous tax cuts to their super-wealthy friends and the massive increase to the military budget, the infrastructure plan, the border wall, etc.

Trump’s GOP is spending like drunken sailors in port.

They’ve become big-time “borrow and spend” Republicans: spend now, pay later.

How is this fiscally responsible in any way? In personal finance, or in a business, borrowing money of this magnitude would be considered reckless, foolhardy, and a sure-fire way to end up in bankruptcy.

Not coincidentally…we have a President leading the country right now who has, in the past, bragged about being the “King of Credit”. He loves using other people’s money to finance his risky endeavors. Not surprisingly, Donald Trump has had to declare bankruptcy four times on foolhardy projects that didn’t pan out.

Evidently, President Trump has convinced the Republican Party “fiscal hawks” to borrow trillions of dollars to finance his fuzzy vision for the country. “Let’s roll the dice with other people’s money!”

But, wait…the U.S. government can’t declare bankruptcy.

What happens when the overwhelming portion of the federal budget is needed to pay debt obligations? What will happen if the economy goes into the tank again, and our borrowing capacity is exhausted…so the Feds will be unable to assist in any way? What about natural disasters…where will the government get the money to help out?

At some point, our government will have so much debt obligation that it: (1) will need most of its tax income to pay debt interest; and, (2) will not be able to borrow from anyone at a decent interest rate. We will be up a river without a paddle.

“But, Teacher, why are we borrowing so much money when the economy is doing well, unemployment is rock bottom, etc.? Shouldn’t we reserve our credit for times when the economy needs a shot in the arm?” Good question, Class.

No one, even Trump’s rock-solid political base, voted for this reckless behavior. Those voters’ children, and their grandchildren, will pay for this foolhardy spending spree, as will everyone else’s progeny.

“Smile, Kids…we’ve just saddled you with $7 trillion in debt. Thanks for the lobster dinners!”

The fiscally-conservative, anti-Big Government GOP, though, will be able to hold  their head high, because, technically, no new taxes (on current voters) will have funded this orgy of excess.

Grover Norquist would be proud.

“This is lame, Teacher. Why should we have to pay for this?”

 

 

 

Disneyland

I read today that Disneyland (i.e. the original Disney theme park in Anaheim, California) raised its one-day ticket price to…One Hundred and Thirty Five Friggin’ Dollars.

Holy Shit!! Who can afford that?

I hated it when I was a kid and some old fogie, like my parents or grandparents, would talk about the “olden days” when they were a kid and a loaf of bread cost a penny…blah blah blah. It was vertical stare time, for sure.

Now I am one of those old farts and I’m starting to tell stories about the good old days. Shame on me!

But, listen to me, Grasshopper…

I actually visited Disneyland shortly after Uncle Walt opened it in the mid 1950’s.

Construction of the park wasn’t even totally finished at that time. Accordingly, the rides and attractions were supplemented by a circus starring the Mickey Mouse Club “Mouseketeers”, who were just then becoming a big deal on TV. (Since the Mickey Mouse Club debuted in October, 1955, we had to have visited the park after that point. Anyway, I was almost eight years old at the time, and I had a crush on “Doreen”.)

I remember being quite excited by the Jungle Cruise ride…

…got sick to my stomach on the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party ride…

…and was devastated that I couldn’t drive a car on Autopia…

…because I was too short.

But, seeing Doreen made it all worthwhile.

It was a great day, for sure, although, looking back on it, a lot of the stuff that was there at the time was more oriented towards adults. The really cool rides didn’t appear until many years later.

 

Back in beginning, there was an $1 admission only pass for the park…

…to walk around and explore about nine “free”attractions, and the rest of the place was priced like a carnival (i.e. maybe 30 cents per ride). There was also a deluxe ticket book, which included admission plus 8 ride tickets (A thru E), priced at about $2.50. Here’s a D-ticket:

If a visitor bought the deluxe ticket book, and then purchased tickets for the remaining 30 attractions (at the time), the full cost would have been $6.60.

Six dollars and sixty cents!!! 

Of course, that was a good amount of money in those days, particularly if your family was visiting the park. A family of four would be looking at $26.40, plus parking (a couple bucks), food (not cheap!), and gifts for the kids (everyone had to have either Mickey Mouse ears or a Davey Crockett coonskin hat).

So, a family outing at Disneyland, in the 1950’s, would probably have cost something in the vicinity of $50 to $60. Minimum wage was $0.75 per hour at the time, so that might be a week’s pay for an average working stiff.

Our family was too poor to visit the park; only my Dad worked, and there were four kids in our family. My brother Terry and I only lucked into going to Disneyland because my grandparents, who were upper middle-class, pulled the trigger and made us very happy little boys.

Having lived in Southern California all of my life, I’ve subsequently visited Disneyland dozens of times. The place has changed many, many times over the decades. There are many more attractions now (there are actually two theme parks), the rides are much more sophisticated, and crowds have seemingly gotten bigger and bigger. And, of course, costs have skyrocketed.

There’s been a joke among So Cal folks for the past couple of decades that the only folks who can afford to go there are the Asian tourists. (And, that was back when the all-day pass “only” cost about $80 or $90.)

I last visited Disneyland about ten years ago. I took my grandson Craig, and it cost us $89 each, as I recall. The brand-new parking structure had just been opened, and I remember reading that it was the largest parking structure in the world at the time. Craig and I lost our car in there (honestly!); we spent an hour looking for it after a long, hot day of fun in the park. I was convinced that someone had stolen my car, until we searched every frickin’ level of that 5-story structure, a couple of times, and, then…Presto!…the thief had returned it!!

Disneyland parking now costs Twenty Friggin’ Dollars!!

By the way, food has always been very expensive at Disneyland. They’ve got you where they want you, and the visitor basically gets bent over a log.

I suppose they are not any more expensive than the concessionaires at ball parks or at the airport…$3.75 for a bottle of water, $10 for a beer…but, those little costs add up. It’s usually hot at the park, the kids get thirsty, and…the next thing you know…you’v e spent $15 to cool them off…each time. Lunch and dinner (if you stay late to see the ELP, and it would be possible to blow another couple of hundred bucks with a family of four.

As a Disneyland alternative, to save money, Craig and I used to visit every County Fair within driving distance, each year. Some of the bigger fairs, like L.A. County or Del Mar, had many exciting (for a small boy!) rides, like bumper cars, roller coasters, giant slides, scary indoor rides, etc. I would buy an all-day, all-ride “wristband” for $10 or $15, and let Craig go at it…

There were virtually no lines, and the excitement level was at least as high, if not better, than most of the attractions at Disneyland. No whining and crying, either. Plus, they had a lot of great food, like Deep Fried Zucchini, Deep Fried Snicker Bars, Deep Fried Pickles, and other Deep Fried items.

Here…have some Deep Fried Butter.

The biggest problem with Disneyland is that one can no longer enjoy all of it in a day; it’s just too big and crowded.

The lines going in to each “ride” are huge…some as long as 45 minutes. So, think about it…how many of the 40 or 50 attractions can one really see in a day? Maybe ten of the premier attractions before the adults (and, likely, your children or grandchildren) are absolutely pooped out and/or pissed off at each other.

And, each of those rides essentially cost $5 to $10. Not much value there.

I once took four grandchildren to the park and they were determined to experience all of the premier rides. So, we were standing at the gates when the park opened, and we RAN through the park to the highest priority attraction, rode that one, then RAN to the second priority ride, did that one, and so forth for a couple of hours before the crowds really got thick. We eventually rode most of the good stuff before crapping out and fleeing in the late afternoon…before all the parents and their noisy brood arrived for the Electric Light Parade and the evening mayhem.

Nowadays, a visitor can get a FastPass which allows one to, essentially, cut in line.  But, one can only do so much of that. There’s is also a app for your mobile phone called RideMax, which helps one maximize their day or two at the park. But, there’s no Magic Silver Bullet…

…no pain, no gain.

In the end, going to Disneyland means standing around a lot, sore feet, jostling crowds, and, if you’re really dumb, having to listen to bitching, moaning, and crying grandchildren for ten hours.

As for me, I’d rather eat green flies.

And, save a thousand bucks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pfishing Expedition

I got an e-mail from a guy named “Gilburt” this morning.

He announced that he had gained access to my computer and had been watching me (through my WebCam) pleasure myself while visiting a large number of porn sites. Since he now also had all of my contact information, Gilburt said that he would distribute all of the ugly web cam video to my contacts…unless I sent him a bunch of money…specifically bitcoins.

 

It was a lengthy email, and, of course, there was some web site that I needed to access (“just click the html address, below”) for instructions, etc. So, I of course…

…I didn’t click.

 

So, no ransom, no payoff for “Gilburt”, and I suppose that I can now expect calls from my friends. I hope y’all enjoy the movies!

I wonder if my new friend Gilburt is another one of those skinny black guys that work the Nigerian 4-1-9 scams out of an internet cafe in downtown Lagos.

Or, some Russian cybercriminal named Igor who moonlights doing these scary extortion e-mails when he isn’t busy at his regular day job…cyberhacking for Putin’s KGB.

You’d think Igor would have plenty of work to do, what with the American mid-term elections on the near horizon.

 

I’ve never been pfished before where the extortionist demanded to be paid in bitcoins. Who has those, anyway? I don’t don’t know anyone who’s into cybercurrency, but can imagine that nerds who spend a lot of time surfing porn sites and the dark web probably know about, and use, bitcoins. The reason: they’re untrackable, from what I’ve heard.

Anyway, I don’t have any, don’t plan on getting any, and I’m not paying Gilburt a bit-penny for his efforts.

Get a real job, Dude!

 

 

Cadet Bone Spurs’ Big Parade

Recently-turned patriot Donald Trump loves the military, and he announced last week that he wants to throw a giant military parade like they have in France each year. Question: Who’d they ever beat?

The Pentagon, which has a number of serious things to work on (like ongoing wars in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, and Yemen, black ops in Africa and elsewhere, and a prospective nuclear war with North Korea), and which has been crying poor mouth lately (“we need another $500 billion added to the budget!)…is said to be preparing plans for Trump’s parade.

It is a curious thing to see Donald Trump all excited over things military. This is a guy who dodged the draft back in the day…getting a doctor’s excuse for bogus “bone spurs” to avoid serving his country.

What’s really curious is that those painful, crippling heel spurs weren’t a problem while Trump was a student at the New York Military Academy, while he was a college student at Wharton Business School, and at any time later in his life.

The mysterious bones spurs occurred quickly, almost miraculously, in time to qualify young Trump for his 5th, and final, draft deferment. And, then, magically, they disappeared.

Some people, cynics like me, perhaps, might call young Trump’s behavior “treasonous”, to use one of the President’s favorite words. (Note: The Prez used that word to describe the Democrats sitting on their hands at his State of the Union speech. They were “traitors” for not clapping!)

Here’s Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, on the right, during one of President Obama’s State of the Union addresses:

(If we do have Trump’s big parade, everybody must attend and clap loudly. Otherwise, you might end up at Guantanamo.)

Oh, BTW, here’s President Trump’s wife Melania during his State of the Union Speech:

One might say that an otherwise healthy guy, who fakes a medical condition to avoid military service in a time of war, has committed treason. Just sayin’

However, more importantly (?) the President is in favor of expensive, patriotic, military parades…that serve no purpose except to gratify his immense ego.

Senator Tammy Duckworth, U.S. Senator from Illinois, isn’t one to shy away from calling a spade a spade: she publicly calls the President “Cadet Bone Spurs” at every opportunity, making fun of his cowardice as a young graduate of a military school. Senator Duckworth is no coward, by the way; she’s an Army veteran who lost both legs serving in Iraq.

Trump’s grand military parade: “It’s a waste of resources,” she said Wednesday in a telephone interview from Washington. “Why would we spend hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars to put on a parade like this when we have troops who are in harm’s way right now? Who don’t have everything that they need to execute their mission?”

That’s a pretty good question, that last one.

And, why does America, which is acknowledged (by everyone) to have the strongest military in the world, need to thump its chest about its superiority? We’ve never done this type of thing before, except maybe after winning a World War or two. We were grown-ups then. Now…?

What military victories have we won lately? Actually, I don’t know of any war that the United States has “won” in recent memory. Korea? A stalemate. Vietnam? Got our hat handed to us. Granada? Are you kidding!

America has been bogged down in the Middle East tar pit for about twenty years now…with no end in sight. Opium production has actually increased, and there are more terrorist atrocities now than before. There doesn’t even appear to be a PLAN for “victory”, whatever that would mean in that part of the world!

Maybe President Trump is planning to declare, just before his big parade, “Mission Accomplished!” like George W. Bush did, prematurely, to his lasting  chagrin.

Maybe Trump will re-celebrate his convincing victory over Hillary Clinton…certainly grounds for a Yuge military parade. No matter the pretext, our President is determined to see himself, on TV, atop a bandstand, lording over His Troops, as the impressive Commander-in-Chief that he knows he is. (That is, if his bone spurs will allow him to stand that long.)

One can only wonder what goes on in that narcissistic mind of his. He must sit around for hours (when he should be working!) dreaming up goofy and absurd ideas that will keep him on Page One of the newspapers, the most talked-about guy on cable news, and the most tweeted-about Tweeter on earth. Usually, he just says something dumb, offensive, or vulgar…and that’s sufficient. “Did you hear what that dumbass Trump said yesterday?!”

A parade, though. That would be “bigly” impressive, for sure; just what an egomaniac needs. And, we can be sure, if Donald Trump has any say in it, the extravaganza will be “Yuuuuuuuge”, “the biggest”, “the shiniest”, “the most patriotic”, etc….of all time. And, probably, the most expensive. After all, the military just got a $500 billion infusion of badly needed funds.

Or, more likely, it will be the most ridiculed military parade in American history; another black eye for our idiot President.

 

The proposed parade is a joke, just like super-patriot Cadet Bone Spurs.

The New Yorker magazine’s Andy Borowitz today reported the following fake news: “The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.”

 Yeah, it’s fake, but can you imagine how our military folks really feel about this abomination-in-the-making? The United States doesn’t do military parades…it’s unbecoming. Tin pot dictators like them; Communists do this sort of thing. Then, again, Trump likes the Russians…

A gaudy parade would be akin to some lounge lizard brandishing a huge “flash roll” of cash to impress the ladies; some Saudi prince showing off his solid gold toilet; a heavily-muscled Adonis bullying a 115-pound weakling; or, a young, rich guy bragging on TV about being so famous that he can “grab women by the pussy”. What do these things have in  common? They’re cases of chest-thumping.

That’s not something that we do, as the United States of America. We’re supposed to “Walk Softly, But Carry a Big Stick”. That’s been our mode of operation for a hundred years, ever since we became a world power. We don’t go out of our way to seek trouble, but…mess with us at your own peril, Sir.

Donald Trump is a different sort of cat; he’s certainly no Teddy Roosevelt. Since he’s been in office (only one year!), he’s personally threatened North Korea with a nuclear war and Venezuela with an invasion. He’s surrounded himself with military men (in the civilian White House), and promoted an obscene increase in the military budget. And, for reasons known only to himself, alienated himself (and the U.S.) from long-time military allies like Britain, Germany, Australia, and France, and broken agreements with long-standing trade partners. What the Hell…go big or go home!

Maybe that’s his “Mission Accomplished!”…getting virtually every nation in the world to hate and fear the United States.

A good reason for a parade, I guess.

 

Baby, Baby!

Just about one year ago today, my grandson Craig and I drove about 300 miles north to pick up a goofy-looking Boston Terrier puppy who was about 10 weeks old.

It’s been an interesting year.

I don’t know if 70 year-old fogies are really equipped to raise a puppy dog. Lots of pee, poo, vomit, slobber, chewed on moldings and drapes, illness, and noise. Lots of the latter.

But, we all persevered, and now we have a very nice member of the pack: Baby.

We had thought that she could be the “baby” that our precious Booger never had. We hoped that she and Booger would become best friends, and that the older dog would teach the younger one how to behave in the house, how to play, and how to get along with other dogs in the neighborhood. Surprise: OMG — it’s happened!

The two of them spend a lot of time together hassling over a bone or a ball, and they like to wrestle each other on the bed in the morning or play grab ass in the back yard or in the living room. Baby has loads of energy, and has seemingly given some life to Booger, who is 9 years older. It’s fun to see them enjoying each other.

 

JayJay, our only guy dog, who kinda does his own thing, occasionally plays with Baby…”fighting” over a bone or playing tug of war. He’s much bigger than her (26 pounds to 16), and could probably win every contest if he so desired. But, he will play the game, make a lot of noise like he’s mad, and, then, let her win. He’s a true gentleman.

Baby likes hanging out with her buddies.

She’s also learned how to beg from the Master Spoiler:

Baby is now house-trained,  but it was a long journey, let me tell ya. We started the training during a nasty, wet Winter. She learned the “doggie door” incredibly fast, but it was usually pouring down rain outside, so she really didn’t want to go out to do her business. Hence, peeing and pooing in the house. We ended up taking her to the garage and training her to do it there.

Unfortunately, Baby came to us with a raging case of Giardia, which we didn’t know about until several months later. Because of that, there were a lot of loose poos and accidents, vomiting, yuck-ups, and such…in the house. Our house smelled like a commode at times, but we hung in there.

Charlie cuddling sick dog.

Just when we were starting to make headway with the illness and potty training, the five of us headed off on the RV Road Trip. That meant that Baby needed to learn a new routine for doing her business. We had some rough times in the rig, cleaning up dribs, drabs, and piles. We knew that Baby felt bad about this, but she wasn’t yet able to “hold it” until  she caught our attention or got a chance to go for a walk.

“Hey, Boss, I’ve gotta go!”

When we got back from the trip, Baby was essentially trained. There have been a few mishaps here and there, but she’s figured out a routine, and holds her goods until she either goes out the doggie door or gets taken for a walk. She sleeps from 9:30’ish in the evening until about 7 a.m. now, with nary an accident.

“Look at me, no diapers!”

Yay!!

She is a very sweet dog who likes to lick, cuddle, and play: we couldn’t be happier. She’s now a card-carrying member of the pack, accepted by Booger and JayJay, and keeps things lively in our house. When Charlie is working in the office, Baby is most likely snuggled in a chair right next to her while the other dogs nap in their own favorite spots. If the doorbell rings, all three go airborne and fly down the stairs lickety-split to greet our guest.

Baby is very well socialized, and it’s a pleasure to walk her and take her to the park. Like all Bostons, she is friendly and playful, always expecting dogs she encounters to respond likewise.

She learned to play ball from Booger, and she’s great about fetching, retrieving, and dropping the ball right at your feet. I have met many frustrated dog owners who would give their left nut for that kind of obedience. I trained her using small pine cones, kicking them and having her chase them…just like I did with Booger. Now, Baby is obsessed with that game.

Unfortunately, we have a plethora of “toy” dogs in our neighborhood (like Chihuahuas, Bijons, Poodles, etc.) who bark incessantly and act aggressive when Baby approaches. I feel bad for her: she’s a friendly cupcake of a dog. All she wants to do is play. And, at the leash-free dog park, which is usually populated by medium-sized to big dogs, Baby is looked upon as a “rabbit” that mistakenly happened  upon the  pack…so she gets chased all over the 2 acre grass park. It’s all in fun for them (they’re not out to do her any harm), but she’s not amused. Luckily, she’s super speedy, and very agile, so they can’t catch her.

Baby usually cuddles up next to me at night, while Booger keeps Charlie warm and JayJay sleeps in his own bed. Luckily, Baby doesn’t snore much, unlike Booger (who makes all sorts of unusual noises) and JayJay, who sounds like a chain saw that’s hitting on one cylinder. If she had slept like JayJay, we probably would have given up on her: one’s loudmouth’s enough!

Anyway, Baby’s passed her 1-year probation with flying colors (at least lately!) and we’re keeping her. We’ll have to…because she’s tattooed on my arm!

Update: Ten minutes after I closed this glowing testimonial to our wonderful dog, Baby…and, after she ate her delicious dinner of kibble and chicken bits…I caught her in the backyard licking Booger’s pile of poop!!

Damn, that dog! Now, she’s on my Shitlist.